To just skip nursery?

[Housequeen101]

I have two kids, this is first time we’ve had to look into nurseries. I’m a stay at home mum and have a 6 month old. So Am only considering nursery to get her use to being away from me, fingers crossed she’ll enjoy it, going to their stay and play ect to get her use to the environment before leaving her there.

I can’t leave her crying at nursery doors ect I would have to take her home. (Don’t want to get into it all and do not need advice on this aspect) I’m going to try her with nursery but want to know about reception just incase nursery isn’t for her. (She’s 3)

After advice from mums who didn’t have they’re kids attend nursery, did you find your child harder to settle into reception? Do you get the choice in reception in wether they do full days Ect.

Thank you!

My ds started nursery at 18 months and I'm a sahm. He cried initially but has settled in so well. For me the difference in him has been worth it. He is a highly active child and needed the stimulation. He is thriving and I'm continuously amazed at how much he is learning. I can honestly say I see a difference amongst children around his age who stay at home. Whilst there isnt a rush to 'learn', if the child has the ability why wait. He is there for half a day so I have plenty of quality cuddle time with him ( and some breathing space).

I don't remember many of my friends ever going to nursery or pre school when we were kids. My mother didn't work, and not many of them did as I recall, but we went to the odd playgroup and other things and that was it. To paraphrase a million MN threads, 'it never us any harm.'

It's definitely changed over the years.

I don't remember many of my friends ever going to nursery or pre school when we were kids

I phrased this really badly. I don't mean 'I don't remember' as I was two or three . I meant I realise now that they didn't. Not at the time. Although maybe I did a bit as we played with them.

I need a coffee.

Neither of my 2 went to nursery and the grief I have got from people about how much they miss and how much harder reception will be really winds me up. First one settled really well to reception and loves school, everyone commented on how you would never know that they hadn't been to nursery! Reception is called reception, there to prepare you for yr1. Life is too short not to spend as much of it as you can with little ones.

I really don't get this whole idea of "putting a child through an experience in order that they don't go through an experience later". They have to make the transition at some point - whether they do it at three or five is up to you. It isn't preparing them for anything - it's just introducing a change at an earlier stage.

I should've said- on the other hand I never went to nursery or preschool and I don't think I had any issues settling in to school.

youvealways I agree. I also think for some children being that bit older means they are emotionally more able to cope with the change and separation.

I guess people would argue that if a child is going to be distressed by separation it’s better for a child to do it when they’re in nursery “just playing” instead of school aged when they might miss out on essential and vital education
(which is ridiculous because early education should continue to be child led and play based until 7 anyway. There shouldn’t be vital academic lessons at 4 years old)

Exactly, Abso! Reception is still within the Early Years framework - there's more freeflow, both physically and in how the lessons are structured, than in school proper. It's not like they're sitting in rows of desks with Latin primers.

I think you've made a really good decision to at least try it. If it doesn't work out then you have the option to stop. It doesn't really matter what any of us think at the end of the day, you know your child and you know what's best for them x

Dd2 went to nursery for 12 hours a week at age 3. She hated it but I was told it was good for her. She did settle eventually.

She was not ready at age 4 for reception and I had seen the effect it had had on my august born niece the previous year, who had been dry at night for nearly 2 years but went back to wetting herself and bed wetting and she was distressed the whole first year of school. So dd2 stayed at nursery till aged 5, she didnt mind by then being the oldest child and i cut it down from 12 hours to just 6 hours on 1 day per week.

I intended to send dd2 to school but none of the ones I liked had places. She is 9 years old this month and still at home with me and loves being home ed. My threat to her is I'll send you to school and she always says she will run away then.

If she changes her mind, she can go school but she is happy at home and she socialises a lot.

My children loved it! They got to do lots of messy stuff that I didn't do much of at home. They also like having friends and feeling "grown up".
If they had been really upset I might have rethought it, but apart from a few quickly dried tears they were really happy.

I had a cousin who hated it, so was taken out and adjusted fine to school.

Regardless I would suggest some time away from parents before school is a good idea - babysitters, child minder, even grandparents, creche (shopping centre or sports centre). And lots of talking about "when you go to school".