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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

is it unreasonable to leave someone for their political views?

78 replies

MrsCD67 · 07/06/2018 21:11

DD's boyfriend is far-right and it concerns me that he has such intolerant beliefs.
However, they are his beliefs and just as he respects our beliefs, is he entitled to respect for his beliefs even though they seem completely wrong to me?
Obviously this is DD's decision but it does concern me.
What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
musicinthe00ssucks · 08/06/2018 18:30

I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who was a Nazi in the same way I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who was a member of Momentum

LellyMcKelly · 08/06/2018 18:41

I could date someone with different views quite happily. I’m centre left and would probably be happy enough dating someone centre right (though my parents are centre right and although I disagree with them on many things I know they are good people). I would struggle to date anyone with far left or far right views. It’s a shame it all went to shit with Tony Blair at the end, because I’d felt very politically comfortable with that government until then.

Nikephorus · 08/06/2018 19:38

IT will be the drip, drip, drip of fascist bile until her "moderate" right wing beliefs chime with his
Not necessarily. It might be that her beliefs gradually influence him until he's as moderate as she is. I doubt he was born with far right views - they'll have been influenced by those around him & what he encounters. So equally there's a good chance that being around DD will alter his views again. No sort of extreme views can be eliminated without persuasion, whether they're homophobic, racist, sexist, disablist etc. They won't just die out. They need to be acknowledged, discussed, challenged in a calm way, and influenced over time. Cutting someone off dead isn't going to stop their views.
That said she can dump him for any reason including his taste in toothpaste and his habit of avoiding the cracks in the pavement on a Tuesday when it's snowing and he's wearing purple.

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