To refuse to answer the phone to my boss

[AhYerWill]

I'm currently off sick as I had a fairly major surgery less than 24 hours ago with a GA. In pain and feeling pretty shite really. mostly just trying to catch up on sleep after disturbed night. Didn't react too well to the GA (they kept me in an extra 4 hours as weren't happy with my obs) which is probably not helping.

Boss keeps phoning (and woke me up the first time - I'm using the alarm on my phone to wake me up every 2 hours to take medications so it was by the bed - phone on silent now!). Hasn't emailed/texted etc which is our normal communication format (I work in a remote office from him), and which I wouldn't mind.

My sick leave has been planned for weeks, all work handed off, nothing outstanding that someone else can't handle, so really can't think of any reason for him to be calling, other than to chase me back to work (he has form for this - told one of my team members they couldn't take a half day last month when she had dialysis booked).

Surgeon advised to take 2 weeks off minimum, but boss pushed me into agreeing to return next week (which was stupid on my part, but he put me under a lot of pressure and made me feel guilty for letting the team down).

AIBU to a)not pick up his calls today and b) feel fed up with this?

I'm feeling quite all over the show emotionally right now so may be being unreasonable and reading more into this than necessary.

I don't get what needs to be updated?
Still off sick, still signed off, no update required, you are off for 2 weeks.
I'd tell HR, this is harassment.
Hope you feel better soon

Don't give him updates this week. You are signed off, that is all he needs to know for now.

You need to go and get yourself signed off for an extra week. One you have that you need to tell your boss and HR to NOT contact you during this time, any communication necessarily will be instigated by you. You need to do this in writing.

He's told you that you are letting the team down and because of him pressurising you, you compromised your recovery time.

The only person letting anyone down is your boss. A decent boss would allow you to recover. He's a dick.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s possible he’s just going through the motions for the purposes of HR. You’ve given him an update, now forward your sick/fit note when you have it. He then won’t have any reason to contact you and you can legitimately screen his calls.

Answer it, and before he can say anything, get in with " ah I'm glad you called. It's saved me a job. My consultant says I need the full two weeks off. I have emailed HR to that effect. And while you're there, I've had a job offer from another company and would like to discuss the size of the pay rise you're going to give me if you want to keep me when I return. Byeee!"

Definitely have your phone switched off for several days at least.

Your boss can stick his update up his date.

I really don't like the speed patient's are pushed out nowadays. It concerns me greatly.

Also OP - legally you should not drive, sign documents for at least 24/48hrs as it can be argued that you are not mentally fit due to residual anaesthetic so tell your boss to piss off and then blame the drugs

"Update"? The day following GA, overnight stay in hospital and all for something which was pre planned and your boss was well aware of? Trying to harass you back to work a week early?

Good God, words fail me! 😡

Tryingtoforgeanewlife
I had a laparoscopic nephrectomy last year (keyhole kidney removal to those that don't know) - it is classed as a MAJOR. I was discharged the following day and I certainly didn't feel ready to resume normal working life for at least 2-3 weeks afterwards (and I was brought up to not whinge and get on with things). In any case, I always find a GA makes me feel quite unwell for several days.

What the actual fuckeries!!
The surgeon an actual professional has advised 2 weeks! U take 2 weeks.. your body needs to fully heal incredibly silly to undermine medical advise!
Your boss is not allowed to contact you at all whilst on sick. Log it with HR

So did your sick leave start yesterday when you had the surgery? If so, you're not due back until at least next Wednesday so he has no right to phone today for an 'update' The update is, i'm off until at least next Wednesday and possibly beyond depending on what consultant says.

I used to have a boss like this 🙄

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork - l think that is dreadful. Far to quick to discharge. We do laparoscopic cholecystectomies (gallbladder) as day cases. I really don't like it

Sounds a bit full on! Update ffs!

Take the time you need to recover, don't be bullied back to work. Perhapsndiscuss at your follow up tomorrow you're being pressured to return to work and what their thoughts on how that would affect your recovery

Take the two weeks;a professionally trained medical man is better placed to assess your physical state than a boss.

I would answer the phone just to reassure the boss of when you plan to return. Then ask him not to contact you again until you return to work.

Take the two weeks. He sounds like a shit manager.

Laparoscopic (keyhole) surgery doesn't change the severity of the surgery. It just changes how big the hole is on the outside of your body. You may need slightly less intrusion in the sense of wounds, physical manhandling and stitches, but with laparoscopic surgery, you'll have gas pumped into your cavities, then have instruments sliding up and down, in and out, left and right, while the surgeon gets the right view and access to the organ they are dealing with. You still have all the physiological responses to surgery that you do with open surgery, because you still need the same drugs, you still have the same precipitating disease process, you're still the same age, etc., and what you gain in terms of less wounds, etc., is traded to an extent with trapped wind.

Major surgery is major surgery, and there are no prizes for trying bounce back too soon.

He wants an “update?” Is he a MN-er?

I think you should copy HR into your reply. Which should be:

“The update is I am having the required two week recovery period off as advised by my health care specialist. Now sod off.”

Humm, you may wish to rethink how much you are willing to sacrifice for this man. Your health? Now and potentially mid and longer into the future?

Workplace bullying around health is insidious, and you need to step back and think hard about why you are happy to give away your physical need to recover for.... what? And who? And why? And at what cost potentially to yourself in the future?

It’s a hell of a lot easier to stick to clear sick leave time off now than try and scrabble around justifying sick leave further down the line shen you haven’t healed or you’re exhausted and not properly recovered but ‘wasnt your op months ago now?! Stop using that as an excuse, it’s not normal to still need time off for such a thing so long after, you’re letting the team down etc etc etc’.

Pressure gets harder to resist in these situations, not easier.

Send him a photo of a full sick bowl or poo and label it ‘update’.
That is what he wanted updating on isn’t it?

Update! Seriously ?
The update tomorrow should be given by a relative or partner and it should be along the lines of 'she's had surgery so she's too dosed up on painkillers to speak and resting for the next 2 weeks'.
Then look into the other job.

I had keyhole surgery and my boss said it wasn't that major and she would allow me one day to recover plus the weekend after I told her I had been advised a minimum of 2 weeks. In the end I spoke to HR who intervened and was signed off for three weeks in the end. Boss made it really clear how unhappy she was with this.

Please don't let him pressure you to go back before you are ready, hope you get some rest and tomorrow's appointment goes well.

Is he usually devoid of social skills? Do you think "update" is his clumsy way of asking how you are?

Either way I'd do as others have suggested, email, cc-ing HR, to say consultant has told you no work for AT LEAST two weeks. Then ask for contact between now & 2 weeks to be kept to a minimum so you can focus on recovering.

Maybe I'm going crazy but I think the general response to this thread is a total overreaction. I don't think it's harassment for a manager to catch up with a sick colleague. If anything the timing wasn't great but this is unlikely to be deliberate and he probably just didn't think it through. You can always just explain that next time you speak to him so he knows in future. Its one phonecall, no need to blow it out of proportion unless it is part of a pattern of wider inappropriate behaviour.

Jeez, he is aware you have had surgery and probably sees he has somewhat a duty of care to check it went okay; unless he actually requests for you to come back early can't you just answer and say thank you for checking in- see you in a few weeks? Maybe he has been asked by the team how it went.

He has already requested she come back earlier than he knows she should. Add the continual phone calls and its not a boss concerned for OP its a CF who wants to ensure she does come back asap before she should. He is lucky she even replied since she has been under GA and that no family replied and gave him short shift.

My line manager text me after surgery, just to tell me to rest up and could i let her kbow tgat i was ok. If she had kept phoning when i had been trying to heal i would have told her swbu.

OP take the recommended time.