To refuse to answer the phone to my boss

[AhYerWill]

I'm currently off sick as I had a fairly major surgery less than 24 hours ago with a GA. In pain and feeling pretty shite really. mostly just trying to catch up on sleep after disturbed night. Didn't react too well to the GA (they kept me in an extra 4 hours as weren't happy with my obs) which is probably not helping.

Boss keeps phoning (and woke me up the first time - I'm using the alarm on my phone to wake me up every 2 hours to take medications so it was by the bed - phone on silent now!). Hasn't emailed/texted etc which is our normal communication format (I work in a remote office from him), and which I wouldn't mind.

My sick leave has been planned for weeks, all work handed off, nothing outstanding that someone else can't handle, so really can't think of any reason for him to be calling, other than to chase me back to work (he has form for this - told one of my team members they couldn't take a half day last month when she had dialysis booked).

Surgeon advised to take 2 weeks off minimum, but boss pushed me into agreeing to return next week (which was stupid on my part, but he put me under a lot of pressure and made me feel guilty for letting the team down).

AIBU to a)not pick up his calls today and b) feel fed up with this?

I'm feeling quite all over the show emotionally right now so may be being unreasonable and reading more into this than necessary.

Don’t answer!!!! If he keeps ringing I’d send a note to HR asking them to subtly remind him that you are signed off sick. What a complete prick

"Just confused because if you've had major surgery then you'd still be in hospital."

How many decades ago were you last in hospital? These days you're likely to be booted out before they've scarcely put the last suture in.

tiredbutFuckIt, I love that

Can people stop telling the OP to call/email/text messages including the word 'sorry'? She's nothing to be sorry about!

Does your boss have a boss?? Or do you have a HR team. Really inappropriate behaviour from your boss. I hope you are feeling better soon and can find support at work to take the time off you need.

He replied to my mail - apparently he just wanted 'an update' whatever that might be. Told him I felt crap and would be sleeping the rest of the day and that I'd update him after my follow up appt tomorrow. No more calls since thankfully.

DH has gone out for chocolate in an attempt to cheer me up.

Stop allowing him to bully you like that. He has no right to an update and don't pander to him by providing them.

If your boss is just been nice and seeing how you are then that is understandable but that only takes one call / text / email .

Next time as one PP has said , act all woozy , i want Mr snuffles my teddy bear or shout ohh Christ not again , followed by very loud retching noises and your phone hitting the floor

Don't even think of answering and take your full two weeks off. And start looking for another job with a decent boss.

I'm joining the chorus saying don't answer the phone, and take the full 2 weeks, more if you need it.

And yes, consider that other job offer.

What expat said. He can stick his update up his arse.

This really shows what a thoughtless bully your boss is. I'd take at least 2 weeks. I would be tempted to extend it and take the job offer. You don't have to give him an update via a call, you are off sick.

Don't answer, don't feel guilty, find anew job asap!

Please forward that email to HR with a statement that:

• you have already been pressured into taking less than the recommended sick leave for this procedure, which you are not particularly happy about;

• less than 24 hours after surgery your boss is harassing you by phone

• please take this as a heads up that due to a slightly adverse reaction to the surgery and anaesthetic, you will after all be taking the recommended time off and there will be a consultant's letter to follow.

This is harrassment and intrusion of privacy, OP. Don't put up with it. You need rest; he doesn't need daily bloody updates on your recovery. He just wants them - he'll just have to want, then. Stand your ground and don't let him bully you!

'an update' - 'I had an operation dammit! I'm recovering. What do you expect? That I'm doing cartwheels and planning my return to work tomorrow?!!!'
Surely a caring boss would send a text / email saying 'hope it went well, have a really good rest and we'll see you when you're ready and not before'....

Agree with everyone don't answer - you don't need to.

Take the full 2 weeks regardless of what you already said, if you need to you can make an excuse that the surgery didn't go as well as planned or you have an infection or something. You can't be held to anything agreed pre-op.

I manage staff, and I can see it from an employers point of view but his behaviour is inexcusable.

I'd block his number for the 2 weeks - and do not under any circumstances look at work email either.

Our sick leave policy (written by a barrister who specialises in employment law) allows for the employer to contact the employee during sick leave.

However, having said that, I think the day after a GA is not fair on you. If I were in your situation I would send a brief text or email to say you are feeling very poorly and groggy following the procedure.

Trying - I had 5hrs of spinal surgery and came round from GA at 4pm. Discharged at 1pm the next day

I think even if he is ringing ‘to be nice’ it’s harrassment. The guy shouldn’t be contacting her at all so soon after surgery. Simply not appropriate

l doubt you can be sacked for having your own phone switched off in your own home, though, surely?

He's being a fucking dick. If a doctor has said you are not fit for work then you are not fit for work and you won't be insured if you go back early. They have to say you are fit for work before you can go back.

liz70 - funnily enough yesterday.... as l work in Theatre's. So admittedly my perception of major might be a little different to others.

Major to me is several hours on the table, arterial lines, pain relief pumps, maybe drugs to stabilise blood pressure, blood transfusion, probably needing higher level care post op followed by physiotherapy to get mobile again.

Discharging home the same day is classed as minor surgery as it's day case. Although l don't agree with some procedures being daycase they are not "major" and l have been known to tell patient's to refuse to go home if they don't feel up to it and not pressurized to go home

I see, Trying, thanks for the info. .

I can remember the time when e.g. women were in for seven or more days with a CS - these days it seems they're out sooner than I was with a straightforward VB!

Anyway, I presumed that the OP had surgery yesterday afternoon with overnight stay, then discharged this am?

They definitely discharge quickly. My op was for cauda equina

My boss texted me the day after I left hospital after surgery - just to check if I made it through the anaesthetic and was still alive!

If the doctors have told you a minimum of 2 weeks, then you must take that time, plus any extra you need. If you are signed off, then you are deemed unfit for work, to the point where any decisions you happen to make work-wise during that period are invalid.

When I had major back surgery and was due to go back after 8 weeks, but complications meant it was more like 12 - my employer was really good and left me alone, just sent me some get-well-soon flowers.