To think dogs and kids should never be left alone together.

[Helendee]

I have just been on a social media thread on the above subject which turned rather interesting!
I firmly believe that all dogs can, given the right circumstances or provocation, turn and attack and I would never leave a child alone with one. However, the majority of people were less than impressed with my opinion .

It’s like a different world here sometimes. I’m willing to be told how neglectful I am, if it makes you feel any better, do it. It won’t make it true. There are two children and one animal living in my house. You are telling me I have to be the first person out of bed every single morning in case the children walk into the room where the dog sleeps? I’ll need to tell them to wake me up in the middle of the night when they want a drink so I can be the one to walk past the dog to get a glass of water? When they come home from school and I’m not here, are they not allowed to have a key to the house because there is a dog in it? Should they be waiting in the garden with the dog inside the house?

When the dog whines to be let into the garden, can the child not be the one to get up, walk into another room and let it out into the (safe, gated) garden? When it is sunning itself in the garden, and the kids are playing out, I’m not permitted to walk inside to get the sun cream? When I’m in the front room, and a child wants a toy from the playroom, have they to ask me first and then have me get up and go and check the playroom and route to the playroom in case that is where the dog has decided to be? If I’m in the shower, and the dog is outside and has decided to bark, should I get out of the shower and let it in, leave it there annoying every neighbour, or should the sensible child sitting next to the door let it in and send it to it’s bed?

We aren’t stupid, we have dog free zones in our house, and the dog has a person free zone. We have a kennel outdoors and a large enclosed garden. My children were born dog owners, they know nothing else. Children and dogs together, never, is just not practicable - not without having miserable children and miserable dogs.

I was volunteering as a dog walker at my local dog rescue at 13

“When they come home from school and I’m not here, are they not allowed to have a key to the house because there is a dog in it?”

If you’ve got a child young enough that you’re being negligent by leaving them alone with a dog, you’re also being negligent by leaving them at home alone tbh...

You treat a dog like other potential dangers in your house, if they need supervision in general still, they shouldn’t be alone with a dog...

Generally, my dog follows me around anyway so it’s not an issue but if he’s asleep in his bed, the baby asleep in her basket and my 2 boys are playing happily/engrossed in a film then yes, I will potter around the (small) house doing housework leaving doors open so I can hear what’s going on. If the dog wakes, he will always get up and come find me (because he’s attached to my bloody hip)

My neighbour had a black lab and her toddler son used to pull his tail, sit on him when he was lying down and all kinds of other stuff. She used to say "oh the dog just loves him" She moved away but I hope the dog never retaliated.

We have a lurcher who, although boisterous, adores our 9yo dd. She grew up with us from a puppy. I would trust the lurcher with my daughter alone for any length of time.

We also have a greyhound who is more of an unknown quantity as she is an ex-racer who we adopted as an adult. However, being a grey, she is extremely chill and doesn't play much or do anything but sleep.

My daughter has been around dogs for a big chunk of her life, and knows how to treat them/act/look for warning signs. I don't worry about her.

Saying that, I wouldn't leave a younger child with dogs because it's not fair on the dogs! Younger kids don't know how to not push a dog's buttons.

Completely agree with you. We are a dog owning family too and regardless of how lovely our dog is, he is never alone with our children.

It doesn’t matter how amazing they are, which breed they are etc, there is a possibility something could happen and make them turn.

A small child or a young dog or a dog whose temprement is known to be unreliable, yes. But in reality I don't know any family with children over 5 who live like this.

Totally agree, OP

I'm forever seeing pics on FB with tiny babies propped up against the tummy of the family dog. People think because they are in the room that's it's okay. But one squalk from the baby could make them turn their heads and kill that baby in a split second.

Everone posts how fucking adorable it is. Idiots.

“When they come home from school and I’m not here, are they not allowed to have a key to the house because there is a dog in it?”

If you’ve got a child young enough that you’re being negligent by leaving them alone with a dog, you’re also being negligent by leaving them at home alone tbh...”

No one is specifying ages here. The AIBU is ‘children’. Yes I leave my child alone with the dog. Yes I leave my child alone. Yes my child has a key to the house. Yes my child can cross a road and walk the 1.5 Miles home from school. Yes my child can let the dog out and give it water on arrival home, and yes my child can walk the dog to the park later.

Still definitely a child.

“No one is specifying ages here.”

Because it depends... a sensible 6 year old isn’t likely to go and start interacting with a sleeping dog just because you’ve left the room, other 6 year olds might...

I know some teenagers I’d not leave in a room with my dog, but mostly after they’re at school you’d judge it by the child and dog.

My youngest was 3 when we got our last dog, they've been fine together, it's not just a dog's behaviour. They've been alone since that time. Our dogs don't have treats or temptations between meals so there's no begging.

I am always astounded by the interaction between dogs and kids or more accurately the owners and parents. Dog owners who allow their dogs to jump up at kids whilst shouting “they’re friendly” from across the park. Parents who let their kids stroke a dog without asking or let them run off screaming and expect a dog not to pursue (no the dog shouldn’t have been loose in the first place but teach your child what to do). I have a small puppy at the moment, 10 weeks old and likes to nip. I’ll warn anyone going in for a stroke she nips. I won’t let a child stroke her (except my son) just in case. The looks I get off parents when I say their darling child can’t stroke the little puppy (firstly as her jabs are not yet fully effective and secondly cos she might nip is astounding). People just don’t seem to know how to interact with any animals anymore.

i disagree. You cannot simply say no dogs and children, because children are considered to be children until they are eighteen. So while I agree that toddlers shouldn’t be left alone with dogs because (mostly the toddlers) are unpredictable, I do not agree that this should be the case for older children.

I also do not agree that any dog can turn and attack, as a snap or nip does not constitute an attack and is usually provoked.

If a dog bites anyone unprovoked I would have it put to sleep no question. However, in most circumstances where children are bitten by dogs the child is the one at fault. If they have e.g. been pulling ears, poking eyes, pulling ttails etc and it’s no more than they deserve. Controversial opinion? Possibly. But if you don’t want the dog to snap at your kids then don’t let the kids pull the bloody dog around. It ain’t that hard.

I was bitten unprovoked by a dog when I was three. But for the fact the dog was on a running line and knocked me out of the way it could have killed me, and only after that did the owner tell us they’d been given the dog because it previously bit a child. So I know that unprovoked attacks do happen. But I would have got no sympathy from my parents if I pulled any of our family dogs around and ended up being bitten as a result. In fact we had a dog who was rather intolerant of small children but who would take herself off out of the way if she wanted to be on her own. If you went to where she was and tried to pull her out she would growl first. if you ended up being snapped at, and it was only ever a snap and didn’t break the skin or anything it would be because you’d not taken note that she wanted to be left.

Dogs growl and snap for a reason. Take heed and the majority of dog bites would never happen. And bring up the kids to respect the animals. I’ve had three dogs and three cats since mine was born. Any level of cruelty was never tolerated and never happened. And now he’s fifteen and regularly walks the dog for me.

Ruby it's sad that your attitude re piss a dog off expect a reaction IS deemed so controversial nowadays. As i said above, first question if a dog growled when i was a kid was 'what did YOU do' not what did the dog do. First thought wasn't to have the dog PTS. Nowadays many parents seem to ignore warning triggers from their pets - or chastise the pets for growling etc - and allow irritating kid behaviour to continue.

I had a friend live with me for a while with her small dog, who used to growl a warning if she was fed up, then move. Friend used to tell her off. To me, a dog who is not allowed to warn is a dangerous dog. Warning serves a purpose.

Depends on age.

12 yo DD, brought up around dogs and knows how too respect them I have no problem leaving with DDog.

5yo and 7 month, not a chance. I trust DDog a lot more then I do the younger kids but she's still a dog.

I hate the photos of young children and babies cuddled up with dogs, they make me anxious. A lot of the time the dog is showing signs of being anxious itself. Not fair on either.

I think there is a sensible balance. I have two small dogs who have grown up since pups with my children. They are very familiar with each other and he kids know how to behave around them. I would for example go upstairs to get something, nip to the loo, make dinner etc with them alone together but I would never be far. We have stair gates so I can separate the dogs if need be and they are always kept separate when there are other children round. If I had bigger more powerful breeds I would not leave them unsupervised at all.

I have a 10 year old and a 14 year old. I am perfectly happy leaving either of them alone with our dog. Call me negligent, I'd call you paranoid and ignorant as you do not know the nature of the dog and the way it was brought up and you don't know the nature of the children and their relationship with the dog.

How old a kid? I have a 6 month old small fluffy puppy and a 7 yr old DD. I'd go nuts trying to make it so they were never alone in the same place together! He follows her round like.... well a a puppy! She is currently out in the garden with him and hubby is in the kitchen doing the washing up and I am in the office. He is cute and he loves her, he is definitely not about to go rogue!

To add DD is totally uninterested in the puppy and we've had him since he was 8 weeks old. She is ignoring him and reading and he is wombling about in the long grass at the end of the garden trying to catch flies. She is not about to start pulling his tail or chasing him round.

What I hate are all those o so sweet videos on social media of dogs and small children sharing food and beds and children climbing all over dogs and pulling their faces and ears and tails. Just appalling accidents waiting to happen.

“He is cute and he loves her, he is definitely not about to go rogue!”

It’s not that... it’s things like, is the child likely to pull or yank something, fall on a sleeping dog, get the dog involved in a game that hypes it up too much.

All of those could result in a fairly serious bite - the dog won’t have hurt them on purpose, but it’s still easier to avoid the situation.

But there's a big difference between leaving a two year old who knows no better alone with a dog than older children who know the rules and who have grown up for years with their dog.

My dogs love kids and I trust them and my kids to potter about together. They are often swarmed upon at the school gates however and in that type of situation I would always be down at their level fully supervising.

It's about common sense. I bigger dog who could do serious damage I would never fully trust unfortunately

YANBU, I agree. Even very friendly dogs could potentially harm a child unintentionally. For example, if you get a big, goofy thing such as a St. Bernard or a Newfoundland, it could accidentally knock a small child over in its enthusiasm.

We have three cats, no dogs, but I would not leave a baby or toddler alone with our cats. One of them is a big sappy dope, but I would be worried he would lay on top of a child and accidentally suffocate them. (He's huge.)

GratedCarrotStick I saw this and my blood ran cold. Dogs are animals at the end of the day. We have a shih tzu, soft as a brush but no way is he left alone with the kids. When I was 8, I tried to climb under the table with our usually soft dog and he turned and bit my face. It was completely my fault, kids will be kids and dogs will be dogs.

We had a Golden Retriever when I was younger, friends got a dog from the same litter
Their dog accidentally knocked their 2 year old down stairs and fractured his skull. Totally not the dogs fault and a freak accident but evenvery soft large ( or small) dogs can injure a child by accident