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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dogs and kids should never be left alone together.

105 replies

Helendee · 07/06/2018 08:19

I have just been on a social media thread on the above subject which turned rather interesting!
I firmly believe that all dogs can, given the right circumstances or provocation, turn and attack and I would never leave a child alone with one. However, the majority of people were less than impressed with my opinion Wink.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helendee · 07/06/2018 09:06

FlyingElbows

Excellent post.

OP posts:
MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 07/06/2018 09:07

I agree. Even the nicest dog can get fed up and snap at a toddler pulling on their ears or poking their eyes. Kids don't know how to behave around dogs when they're small, so however much you love and trust your dog you're setting it up to fail by leaving it alone with a child. It's not fair on either of them!

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown · 07/06/2018 09:09

I agree with you Op. I love dogs, but would never leave a child unattended with a dog.

specialsubject · 07/06/2018 09:09

This reply has been deleted

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Yogagirl123 · 07/06/2018 09:11

I agree with you. 🐶

SweetCheeks1980 · 07/06/2018 09:15

My youngest is 9 and is very dog savvy so yes I'll leave him unattended with the dogs. I wouldn't leave his half brothers alone though who are 6 and 7 as they don't live dogs and can get a bit excited at the novelty of 5 dogs.
It depends more on the age and personality of the child than the dog. Dogs are good as gold.

Snowysky20009 · 07/06/2018 09:19

We had a large breed dog when ds1 was little and ds2 was born. He was the softest, most gentle giant you could meet. Friends who's kids were scared of dogs loved him, because of how he was around children. He was so protective, he would always put himself between another dog or person and the kids. He would only bark if a stranger came to the house, and then he looked really scary!

However he was a dog. I trusted him, and hand on heart believed that he would never hurt the children. But there is always that risk. I can't say 'we never left them in a room together', because we had open plan so it was never an issue.

But I see some clips where babies are hitting dogs, it's being filmed because it's cute, but it's not, it's cruel. All it takes is one poke in the eye, and he snaps. One dog put down and lost his life, for the shear stupidity of a human.

Singlebutmarried · 07/06/2018 09:20

We’ve got two hounds. One staff/collies cross and the other and American bulldog cross. Both soppy and loving, but we have separate areas for child and dogs.

Child is only with dogs if me or DH are around. She constantly asks for them to be on the sofa with her while I’m cooking/cleaning/bimbling round the house and the answer each time is no.

Sundance65 · 07/06/2018 09:29

I have a small dog and toddler grandchildren I would not leave them along because the children can be too rough with the dog and not take enough care around him.

The chances of them hurting him are far greater than the chance he would react - but that chance is still there - he is a dog and typically gives a 'grumble' noise when things are getting too much, then a growl and he has never needed to take the next step - but it would be a bite - what else can a dog do.

The toddlers are behaving as toddlers do but as a person we can say stop, pick them up and move them and take what action we need - but the dog cannot, he will react as he would with a puppy and ultimately that means biting.

The older children 6/7 upwards understand the dog's noises and so I do leave them alone but not a toddler.

Tiredmum100 · 07/06/2018 09:31

I agree with you. I don't have a dog but my parents do. She is a lovely friendly dog, who we all love, I have never seen her once turn on anyone. Would I leave her alone with my dc? Nope. All it takes is for one of them to hurt her she snaps and that's it. I hate it when you see dogs being wound up or kids pulling at them etc. They need space and to be respected.

sexnotgender · 07/06/2018 09:34

Totally agree, I think around 10 is when I’d trust a child with a dog I knew. Child dependent of course as some are more sensible than others.
I would NEVER leave a dog alone with a child.

GratedCarrotStick · 07/06/2018 09:34

Did anyone see the "article" on the daily fail about the parents who couldn't figure out how their toddler was escaping her room at night and was toddling around the house in the early hours. They put a camera in her room and their 2 golden retrievers were opening the door and running in and pouncing on the child's bed (playfully) abs and letting her out. It really annoyed me they way they ran in like lightening and what could happen to that child.

sexnotgender · 07/06/2018 09:34

Sorry should have said young child on the last sentence.

bumblingbovine49 · 07/06/2018 09:37

I don't have a dog but can ask those who do but never leave them alone with children, at what age does this change?

Surely it is OK to leave a sensible 12 year old alone with a dog they have known all their (or the dog's life). How about a 10 year old?, 8 year old? When I say alone, I a meen alone in a room while you are maybe cooking or doing stuff upstairs or maybe even 'shock' taking the dog for a walk.

I just don't unbdersand the appeal of having dogs and children if you have to spend 18+ years policing them and keeping them separate. No amount of 'love' from an animal would make up for that hassle in life for me

Obviously babies/toddles need to be supervised around animals (dogs and cats etc) but I had always thought that sensible older chldren (say 7/8 plus) would be OK around their family pets without an adult always hovering around

nellieellie · 07/06/2018 09:41

My pet hate are those ‘cute’ pictures of toddlers sitting on, poking at, lying on etc obviously long suffering dogs. All the dogs warning signs are there - wall eye, lip licking, panting, looking away. But if you say anything you get flamed. Stupid, stupid people. My DCs have been brought up with strict rules re our dogs - never touch when asleep, leave them alone in their beds. Ear pulling, tail pulling or any of that careless kid cruelty - well they know if they did anything like that they’d be put on eBay. They are 10 and 12 and I can leave them with the dogs. I would never though leave other kids with my dogs unsupervised, and no, younger children, never.

ChanklyBore · 07/06/2018 09:42

You can’t say it in such black and white terms. Everything has a danger. Everything. Dogs, kids, situations, environments, experiences, all massively different day to day. Minute to minute. I was alone with my dog a lot when I was a child. It is the norm round here for kids to walk the dogs. My kids walk our dog. They walk our dog out with their friends who have their dog out too. They all spend time alone with the dog. They care for the dog.

I can’t imagine a life in which everything was so policed that I couldn’t even walk into the next room if the dog was asleep on the mat and the dc watching the telly. I agree of course that children should be taught and taught well how to read a dog and how to respect them, and the dog should be trained. And that very young children can’t be trusted with anything let alone a living creature. But never in the same space ever without an adult, what does that achieve? I’m not sure it helps the DC to care for the animal, I’m not sure it helps the dog to respect the DC either.

Tabathatwitchett · 07/06/2018 09:45

I can't believe that even on this thread there are people saying that they do leave dogs and children alone. Honestly I find that neglectful. Neglectful parenting and neglectful animal owning,

BitchQueen90 · 07/06/2018 09:48

YANBU at all. My parents small dog is as soft as butter, in the 10 years they've had him I've never seen him snap at anything. Would I leave DS alone with him? Never.

mustbemad17 · 07/06/2018 09:50

For me it's age dependent but also child dependent. I was walking dogs as a hobby at 13 but things have changed now. When i was a kid if a dog growled at you it was YOU that got asked 'what the hell did you do?' Dogs were treated with a lot more respect than now, we seem to now view them as unthinking property that we can do whatever the hell we want with.

I cringe seeing under 16s walking dogs alone now (hypocritical i know) because of how different things are. I've watched kids as young as 9/10 walking big dogs & be totally unprepared for fights. I've watched young teens be dragged into the road by dogs you wouldn't think had the strength to do so!

I guess for me once your child cognitively has the ability to understand you don't piss a dog off - much the same as you shouldn't another person - then the risk decreases somewhat.

bridgetreilly · 07/06/2018 09:53

Depends how old the kids are. Pre-school, no way. Primary school, maybe depending on the kids and the dog. Secondary, obviously fine.

Elementtree · 07/06/2018 09:54

It sounds like an almost impossible feat to never leave children and dogs alone in their own home. Does it mean you need to always have one or the other glued to you at any one time? How do you get stuff done, like getting dressed in a morning or jobs done around the house with a dog or child constantly underfoot?

It just seems like such a ballache having a pet that can go all cujo - you don't get this shit with a goldfish, just saying.

gingergenius · 07/06/2018 09:55

Yep. Leave mine with our dog - kids aged 10, 13 and 16. Dog is 7. Wouldn't have done when they were younger though.

Thesearmsofmine · 07/06/2018 10:03

Surely it is dependent on the child. My older two (5&7) I have left alone playing in the garden with family dogs or when I’ve been to the toilet. They are sensible and them and the dogs do their own thing.

My youngest is 2 so still an unpredictable toddler, I wouldn’t leave him with a dog.

tabulahrasa · 07/06/2018 10:06

It does depend on the age of the child, the dog and how long...I wouldn’t make anyone move if it’s a sensible 6 year old watching tv and a dog i had never had any issues with asleep in their bed while I go for a pee for instance. Because it’s unlikely that either of them are going to jump up and start doing things while I’m gone.

“ I have a Chihuahua and I leave him on his own with my ds 4 all the time,tbh he couldn't hurt him if he tried “

But a 4 year old could quite seriously hurt a chihuahua without even trying to...

QueenOfMyWorld · 07/06/2018 11:15

FlyingElbows the dog and child have a right to come and go as they please without me panicking and following them around