Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

"make their autistic behaviours less manageable"

Which autistic behaviours are you talking about?

Funny the amount of people expressing their judgement about parents allowing kids screen-time on an internet forum, which by it's very nature requires screen-time. I hope your kids can't see you.

Everything in moderation.

Leaving a child in front of one all day every day is shit parenting.

A bit of chill time, as a way of getting them to sit safely while you cook, they’re very useful. As a way of keeping kids amused at dinner? I’m fine with that (headphones though people...)

And I’d say as a distraction for a long car journeys or plane journies they are actually a positive thing. Or for FaceTiming family abroad. Also v positive.

They’re a tool. It’s how you use them.

Torn on this. I did not let my son have one at the table for years until he had learnt his table manners and how to behave in a restaurant however on holiday you tend to sit and eat pretty exhausted from having been active doing holiday things. You might also be there for a while if service is slow or you’re not heading straight back. By then your child has been running ragged, communicating and doing active things all bloody day. In those circumstances I don’t see anything wrong with them having some down time with an iPad. Not whilst eating however!

Why ban them?? If used correctly they can be an amazing educational tool.
I let my two use an iPad in moderation. My son is 4 and has the reading age of a 7 year old. I’d be mortified if I thought someone was judging me for giving my children some quiet iPad time and didn’t spend any time with them!!

I think that teaching a child that tablets/tv is the standard daily entertainment is harmful. I’m sure occasional use is completely harmless, but when it replaces what children could be doing, I think it is a negative thing.

That's my view too. Overuse is a problem but their very existence isn't

I agree to a certain extent. Our children use iPads but never at the dinner table as I want them to learn to interact and discuss things at the table.
I'm surprised by some of the reactions on here tbh

I do think with anything it’s extremely challenging setting limits

Kindle Fires with children accounts mean you can set time limits or unlimited reading - it does make it easier.

We don't have any screens at meal times - though we might after a very long day doing stuff on holiday in restraunt with possibly slow service.

I agree some families may over use this and other tech - but I don't think banning is the answer .

My almost 3yo ds gets 5-10 mins here and there on my phone or my tablet. Its handy if we are on the bus and hes cranky as i can put his programs on through sky go and it keeps him amused til we get off the bus. Ill be taking my tablet for using on the plane when we go on holiday so he can watch a film or play a game. His nursery use tablets too and the kids love them.

I don't see the problem, especially on holiday when the child will probably be in the swimming pool/playing and being active for the rest of the day.
If it allows parents to have some downtime at meal times to recharge and have energy for the rest of the holiday then that's great.
You can't win as if a toddler is wanting to run around and be disruptive in restaurants someone complains too.

I have one like that MrsTP.

Yep that's cool OP. A genius idea. I'll chuck away the iPad and let my kids kick the back of your aeroplane seat, and run around the restaurant screaming and ruining your meal. Great plan!

I bought my two year old a kids kindle, I find it very interactive and if anything he's learnt from it.
CBeebies app is good too, everything even the cartoons are educational.
It's not like sitting in front on Tom and Jerry on loop.
If the parents are on holiday with their kids and using it at dinner I'm sure the rest of their day was filled with fun memories just like yours. No one goes on holiday to plonk their kids in front of an iPad all day.

If you ban them for your children that's your choice

I remember my parents being equally horrified at the number of children who were allowed to colour in quietly in restaurants while waiting for their meals. Why didn't their parents interact with them? Wasn't it setting them up for a lifetime of communication difficulties and poor manners?!

3yo DD is autistic. Sometimes she will sit and talk to us in a restaurant, sometimes she'll colour, sometimes she needs the familiarity of her tablet and headphones, particularly if we are somewhere new, or somewhere which is too bright or noisy (ie anywhere that caters to children, really). I'm not prepared to seclude her from society when a minor adjustment like a tablet lets her have a treat like any other child.

Meh, my 3yo is unlikely to be far away from tech like this in later life, I think it's fine for him to pick up skills now. It's likely his future job hasn't even been invented yet.

I can barely remember the last time I used a pen for more than five minutes, yet I produce thousands of words a day both professionally and privately. The world is changing.

The world is changing.

Exactly this.

Yawn.
People said the same about tv, and they probably said the same about books when the printing press was invented. All new technology changes the way we relate to the world, but change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Imo the iPad is an amazing resource for kids - much better than CBeebies (which is very much better than kids tv was when I was a kid).

My youngest is 7, so in that first generation of kids who have known touch screen technology for their entire lives, and the educational apps available are incredible. DS has been able to follow and develop his interests in how the human body works, astronomy, geology and the natural world - from simple apps for 2 year olds to now, where he’s teaching himself various science related topics with apps aimed at teenagers.

For school work too. Phonics, reading games, maths - lots of enjoyable apps that dc willingly uses. His school also uses app such a Hit the button for homework and in class. They have lots of touch screen technology in class, including a magic whiteboard - getting tech into primary schools is being pushed quite hard in Scotland at the moment.
I’d go as far as to say, if your kid goes to school unable to use touchscreen technology, they will be disadvantaged.

Just FYI the restaurant was an open buffet self-service restaurant where you literally go and pick your food immediately. Zero waiting time.

I never mentioned hospital waiting times, during operations, extreme conditions where you would have to try and entertain your children for 24 hour flights. Those parents affected seem to understand limitations.

I’m just shocked that this is clearly a thing now. Perhaps my parenting involves managing meltdowns and tantrums so that I can try to train my child so she knows what the right behaviour is during mealtimes or out shopping for example. I always said I know it isn’t easy. Of course sometimes you have to leave early etc if things aren’t going according to plan. At this age children have big emotions but as parents it is our responsibility to help teach them how to go through it and behave appropriately.

Maybe having to endure those emotions is what some parents are avoiding and well, they will know exactly what they are intending to do.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but this is an issue and if it isn’t addressed it will change the future our children have. I care about that for my own child and as a parent that’s my absolute right.

I've just read that Psychology Today article zzzzz. WTAF. Yes, attachment disorder may sometimes present in a similar way to ASD. Does that mean neglect (by screens or otherwise) causes ASD. Self-evidently not, nor does it mean children with actual ASD are neglected. What a lot of bollocks.

adds screens to the bucket containing the MMR vaccine, refrigerator mothers and dairy products

I suspect that your parenting does not involve managing meltdowns, londonmummyof1. From what you've said it perhaps involves coping with the odd tantrum from an otherwise compliant, NT child.

@londonmummyof1

Perhaps my parenting involves managing meltdowns and tantrums so that I can try to train my child so she knows what the right behaviour is during mealtimes or out shopping for example. I always said I know it isn’t easy. Of course sometimes you have to leave early etc if things aren’t going according to plan. At this age children have big emotions but as parents it is our responsibility to help teach them how to go through it and behave appropriately

Perhaps not all our children had tantrums

My DD has never had tantrums, never done anything BUT behaved appropriately. It would be very stupid of me to assume it was down to my stellar parenting

"I’m just shocked that this is clearly a thing now. Perhaps my parenting involves managing meltdowns and tantrums so that I can try to train my child so she knows what the right behaviour is during mealtimes or out shopping for example"

OP you have one perfect easy to train (hate that word they are not puppies) child - I'd like to see you manage the meltdowns of my middle child. I've been trying for years, on the surface he appears perfectly normal and I am sure you would judge, underneath he is a bubbling ball of anxiety and I am constantly on edge waiting for the next explosion.

You look after your own and leave the rest of us to manage as best we can (as an aside - he rarely touches anything electronic at home - his choice - he would much rather be cooking, playing and causing general mayhem).

I doubt you have ever experienced a meltdown.

How many times has your child been covered in blood from biting themselves? Would you prefer to watch that rather than a child have their coping mechanism.?