Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

@sundowners that's my thinking... you've had a nice meal, you'd like to chat and it's a bit much for the kids to be expected to sit at the table while you chat etc.

they are no different to any other 'games' youd give to entertain your child and keep them quiet...
I say this as someone who never takes toys or games to entertain child as I personally think that doesnt set them up very well for dealing with being slightly bored or engaging with their environment. The only exception I would make is on extremely long flights because even as an adult you would want entertainment in that case.

But I certainly dont think Ipads should be banned... they are just a more high tech way of entertaining your child and they do help learning in some ways.
I do let my son watch some tv at home sometimes and hes actually learnt a lot of words and even some maths from the things he watches! Ive been quite impressed with it tbh.

"I really am worried that my DD and DS will grow up trying to have conversations with people at dinner and not get any response."

How terrible. You must be awake for hours every night worrying about that one.

you know deep-down that you've been using screens to keep your children quiet more than you ought to.

What is the designated acceptable amount of time then?

I really am worried that my DD and DS will grow up trying to have conversations with people at dinner and not get any response

I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now.

Whilst there are studies to show that hours and hours of screen time are no good for the brain; does anyone know of any studies on the effects of say 1 hour per day?

It’s not the use of iPads and screens for children that’s bad in my view, it’s where it’s overused in situations where other types of interaction would normally occur.

I have DCs aged 12 and 10. I remember those stressful times in WAITING ROOMS usually Drs surgery. Ours was terrible, a 1hour wait was normal. I would go armed with books when they were toddlers and then we’d (quietly) tell our own versions of fairy tales. Harrowing (when are they going to get fed up and start playing up), but also really lovely, and, I think, quite good for them. I was waiting outside my daughter’s karate class a year or so back. Two parents with 2/3 year olds. The entire time, both mums fiddling with smartphones and kids with tablets. Zero interaction for the WHOLE time. I know we’re not meant to ever criticise other parents, but sorry, I don’t think this is a good thing. Sure, these could have been isolated incidents, but it’s everywhere, train journeys, car journeys, restaurants, waiting rooms. Toddlers brains are still developing - especially areas for communication and empathy, so OVERUSE of screens could well influence development.

I’m not criticising parents of special needs children who really do find it impossible to sit still in a restaurant for the duration of a meal. My DS has ASD, but I think it’s common sense to question the way screen use has crept into use basically during ALL downtime for younger and younger children, and I’m surprised at the response here. Someone sneeringly asked for links to relevant articles stating but of course there arent any. Well there are LOADS and not marginal brown lentil Luddite publications either. Here’s just a few. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/behind-online-behavior/201604/what-screen-time-can-really-do-kids-brains

www.babycentre.co.uk/a25006035/is-screen-time-good-or-bad-for-babies-and-children

www.theguardian.com/society/2012/oct/09/ban-under-threes-watching-television

You do know you can colour on iPads....and read.

My DD is a sentient being with her own preferences. Why would I say “no you can’t use your iPad on holiday at ALL, make MEMORIES” when she might choose to spend her down time doing so.

@pannikin

Go on then, tenaciousD, what kind of parent am I?

The kind who uses an iPad to control behaviour. One who brings their child's individual problems into every arguement when they have no relevance and the kind who denies that there are many materialised studies which show that too much screen time is damaging for children's development.

Oh, and there are strong correlations between ASD behaviours and too much screen time. The issues some children had have been reversed by removing screen time too.

Dunckley, V.L., Reset Your Child's Brain: A Four-Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Raise Grades, and Boost Social Skills by Reversing the Effects of Electronic Screen–Time

You challenged people to find peer reviewed studies (of which there are many) and then went on a strange rant about smacking children with ASD.

So, is there a particular area you'd like explained? I asked if you were talking about sleep, behaviour, retention, attention or anything else but you ignored that.

Asd isn't caused by screens.

So you have one, presumably NT, child and there's 2 adults around to share the parenting?

My kids have tablets. They play on them, read on them, watch TV on them, do maths on them. They are great.

They are also perfectly capable of having a conversation, building a Lego set, doing chores, colouring, reading a book etc etc.

There is a place for everything and technology has become essential to function in our modern world. I think it would be remiss NOT to teach our kids how to use tech and to do so safely. How to learn through using it.

And yes, it's a great distraction if I need one. You use the tools available to you at the time.

We have become a nation of people who are largely intolerant of other people's children, bored kids in restaurants Running around, crawling under tables, raising their voices or crying would be met with horror and in some cases verbal abuse by fellow diners! So i completely understand why so many including myself let the kids use a tablet when out in a venue where there will be a fair amount of waiting around.
You judge these parents on a snapshot of their day, how do you know that the tablet is then not put away for the rest of the day once they and the rest of the diners have enjoyed a quiet, undisturbed meal?

@zzzzz

No. Read my post and that study again. Do you realise the difference between ASD behaviours and ASD diagnosis? Most don't on MN.

There was no conflation, just statistics about managing behaviour and the second issue; children with ASD tend to have much more screen time than those without and it's been shown to make issues worse for many of them.

"the comparison is VERY unkind and unhelpful."

No it isn't. It's helpful for those who refuse to believe science when it goes against their parenting and how is it unkind to directly address a point? It was that poster who began talking about ASD after denying there was any reputable evidence to show the damage that screen time does.

My DS goes to a fantastic little Montessori. The level of care he gets from the teachers there is unbelievable, they have huge files of notes on his development/progress, updated constantly in the most minute detail. They are kind, gentle yet so focused in their approach and structure to learning. He has developed so much under their care and they have gone above and beyond what other nurseries I have seen (and he has been to) have done. Yet recently Ofsted failed to get Outstanding for 1 main reason- their lack of using technology to help with learning. Their lack of "props" such as iPad/computers and assisting children with using them to learn. All those so proudly stating they don’t want a tablet may well also be causing their child to fall behind with the new systems of teaching/educational approaches when they start school.
Lets stop judging each other! Let’s accept that if tablets are only given when a child has eaten and is clearly bored at a table- but to save a major meltdown, and if crayons/colouring don’t work- then allowing them some screen time is really not such an appalling thing??! If a lot of parents didn’t have tablets to rely on (for a huge variety of reasons whether just a seriously cranky kid when bored or child with learning difficulties) then many parents would be afraid of ever taking their kids to restaurants at ALL. Surely this would be much worse?

Asd is not caused by screens. There is a difference between causation and correlation.

By worse do you mean appear more autistic?

I’ve got 3 kids and I don’t use tablets at the dinner table. I don’t like to see it when out (or whilst shopping either really) but understand why people do. To me, it’s perfect opportunities to teach kids how to behave in situations. So yes, when we had whirlwind 1-2year olds, eating out and shopping was hard but they eventually learnt and now sit lovely at the table talking/colouring or walk around helping me pick things off the shelves.

I don’t think they should be banned altogether though, screen time should just be moderated and can come in handy in desperate situations like hospital visits etc. On holiday I can see it being useful to keep kids on the verge of an overtired meltdown at bay when they’ve been in the sun and running around. Especially as all routine goes out the window.

Well by using an iPad it means ds can leave the house. It gives us a chance that he can engage in the “real world” while giving him tools to cope with the anxiety and sensory overload. He can stick his headphones on and listen to his music or tv to block things out, he can immerse himself in research of his current favourite topic or plan his route on google maps.

He would be much “worse” if he was in a constant state of meltdown from being overloaded

I can see how they must be so useful when your kids have just had enough and need some down time but to just stick them at the table from the outset seems a bit of a shame.

In my case, I can often tell a mile off when my son has had enough, so instead of letting it get to the point where he is demonstrating that, I pre-empt it by providing some kind of alternative/distraction which averts a drama. Should I wait until he is wound up, loud and physically lashing out? Can we not just assume that the parents are better placed to ascertain whether the situation warrants a distraction than onlookers?

I can understand that it may look like we are just giving him a screen as soon as we sit down, but I can't understand why anyone would think that their assessment of the situation, as an unknown onlooker, would be more valid than ours.

I'm also a bit mystified as to what's so specific about being in a restaurant that makes it so vital that children learn how to behave? Many posters seem to believe that there are skills which are only applicable while eating out that a child will never learn if they are not forced into it at an early age, but my kids have been bored/hungry/tired/impatient/expected to sit down quietly and chat at a reasonable volume in a variety of places, so what makes a restaurant such a vital learning opportunity?

"Asd is not caused by screens."

Correct.

"By worse do you mean appear more autistic?"

"Appear more autisic" is clearly useless as a description. I think "make their autistic behaviours less manageable" would be better.

My daughter has a genetic condition. She has part of her brain missing. She cannot walk or talk and has limited understanding. Watching an hour of cartoons a day on holiday while we eat will not make her condition worse.

However, I do agree to much screen time is not good and I do limit it for both my children - just in different ways.

The example the OP gave pretty much states people who let their children watch the ipad at meal times are terrible, lazy parents. I just wanted to make her aware that actually, that is not always the case and maybe she should be less judgemental or others when she has no idea their circumstances.

I've never allowed phones or tablets at the table. Not sure whether its made any difference but I've always felt it instinctively wrong somehow.

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:
Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Amazing, i'm sure nobody here has ever done anyof this with their children, what a fantastic idea.