Husband has just taken ds down stairs as he’s ‘wide awake’

[Georgeofthejungle]

I put ds (2) to bed. Later than normal as he had a late nap (accidentally). I put gonna to bed and sang to him (his thing), and sang and sang and sang. Still not asleep I told him I’d sing the song 1 more time and I was going downstairs. I did just that and came downstairs to have my tea (late as I was working). ds came out of his bedroom and standing at the top of the stairs (stair gate closed don’t worry). I was ignoring him as I wanted to see if that would make him go back to bed. He starts to cry. I’m just about to tell him to go back to bed and here comes DH who takes him down stairs telling me there is no point in him sitting up there on his own if he’s WIDE AWAKE. They are now sitting in the livingroom watching peppa.

😡

He is NOT wide awake, he is past tired now!!! But DH can’t see this and fees he knows better. Which he doesn’t - I do!!

Sorry - typos. Should also add, I cannot be bothered to argue with him but I am unimpressed about being undermined like that.

Honestly id leave them to it. Go to bed.

Tbh if a nap doesnt normally happen, and has happened, then that is probably the main contributing factor.

He will learn when your son is up and down all night. My DH didn’t believe our baby could get over tired, low and behold she failed to nap one day and screamed from 12am-2am that night, he now makes naps a priority

As long as it's not a regular occurrence, so tonights shenanigans is a one-off, just relax and let them watch Peppa for half an hour.

Pick your battles.

Sorted, leave them to it. Let your dude know he's totally in charge now until the morning.

Just ignore them and do your thing. It’s DHs job to sort as he went and got him. Just make sure there’s no late nap tomorrow.

My son had a late nap today. He’s currently watching tv till he’s tired.
Yabu.

It's annoying to be undermined, absolutely. But I agree with others; let daddy deal with him while you eat dinner and go to bed yourself!

Leave them too it!

The I know better comment sounds a bit odd to be honest. Just leave them to it. We all parent differently, and our kids know how each of us is likely to react

Are you married to my dh? This is the exact thing that my dh does. Drives me nuts.

I pick ds (also 2) up and put him back to bed. Rinse and repeat.

Dh picks him up and watches tv with him because he's 'not tired'. No, he knows that's what you're going to do! 🙄🤯🤬

Aww leave him watch pepper with his dad. What's the harm

Yep, overtired toddlers have no limits. 18mo DS is just about considering settling down for the night after missing his nap this afternoon.

Leave them to it, let him deal with him all night. I would also be incredulous, DH did it the other day, it makes me want to punch DH in the face.

My dad used to have a cup of tea every night at 10pm and occasionally sneaked me out of bed to join him (my mum had already gone to bed). I remember those times very fondly. Imo it isn't an issue unless it becomes a regular occurrence.

Watching postman pat with us in the dark/in our bed usually helps my son get tired. If he's sat in the living room with volume on full, lights on then yanbu. If he's trying to keep it all quiet and get him to settle then it might work. Maybe I'm a soft touch but I'd stay up with them. How much longer did the nap last? Could your ds be coming down with something?

I think it's partly the heat as mine's the same today. I just keep putting her back, saying no talking, shh, close your eyes, you'd better not come out again. It would drive me nuts if her dad overruled that and just let her stay up. Tell him it just means he'll try it again another time and it's not being consistent.

He is NOT wide awake, he is past tired now!!! But DH can’t see this and fees he knows better. Which he doesn’t - I do!!

A overtired child is usually wide awake. It's not a game of whos-right-whos-wrong. You are both right.

I doubt you're husband means:

"he's had ample sleep and so doesnt need to sleep"

More like:

"he's overtired do is going to be a nightmare to get to sleep. So we'll try resetting the situation by watching a bit of telly out of the bedroom"

Try and be a team.

My husband does this.

We have an agreed plan (lying her in a dark room, shush, pat) to get out daughter to sleep, which demonstrably works, although it often takes a few tries.

DH's 'sit up and play or watch tv' to 'tire her out' method has never worked, but he still insists on doing it sometimes when he decides she wide awake, and then he hands her back to me an hour or so later an even crankier mess. Thanks DH .

Op do you usually sing to your child til he falls asleep? Maybe he hasnt gone back to sleep because he hasnt learnt how to fall asleep without the singing?

I'd be angry to, I don't think it's cute to be undermined. But as pp have said let hime deal with it, explain to hime that any fuss that is caused by your over tired toddler is his responsibility. BTW blue light from tvs and screens make your body think it's still sunny so makes you less tired. I'm not anti screens but if toddler is having difficulty getting to sleep sitting him infront of a screen wont be the most helpful thing.

Well, your DH just made a huge big rod for his own back! Let's hope he's happy to carry on in the same vein for the next 10 years huh? What a numpty.

I sometimes bring toddlers down for half an hour if they are like that and try to reset things a bit before trying again

Never find it particularly fruitful to have long drawn out situation in the bedroom

over tired autistic boys are the same.

Sometimes you need to break the cycle as the trying to get to sleep can lead to them getting too wound up to actually sleep. I have been known to bring ds into my bed for a few episodes of whatever until he is ready to go to sleep then he settles pretty quickly rather than it becoming a battle

What littlemisscomper said. Your dh is being ridiculous. Your ds will soon learn he can whimper and be brought back downstairs. Your dh should support you not undermine you.