Husband has just taken ds down stairs as he’s ‘wide awake’

[Georgeofthejungle]

I put ds (2) to bed. Later than normal as he had a late nap (accidentally). I put gonna to bed and sang to him (his thing), and sang and sang and sang. Still not asleep I told him I’d sing the song 1 more time and I was going downstairs. I did just that and came downstairs to have my tea (late as I was working). ds came out of his bedroom and standing at the top of the stairs (stair gate closed don’t worry). I was ignoring him as I wanted to see if that would make him go back to bed. He starts to cry. I’m just about to tell him to go back to bed and here comes DH who takes him down stairs telling me there is no point in him sitting up there on his own if he’s WIDE AWAKE. They are now sitting in the livingroom watching peppa.

😡

He is NOT wide awake, he is past tired now!!! But DH can’t see this and fees he knows better. Which he doesn’t - I do!!

It's not a big deal really, is it? I think I would have done the same when mine were 2. Some battles are worth the fight, some aren't. I hate mine getting upset at bedtime, so I think a bit of flexibility isn't a bad thing sometimes. He had a late nap, so he's not tired. If you want him to go to sleep on time, don't let him have a late nap. Your fault, not his.

So you both disagree about whats best to do, neither of you is "right" or "wrong".

You say you're not impressed about being undermined, but you're doing the same to him coming on an internet forum moaning about how YOU are clearly right and he is wrong and having a bit of a bitch about him. Do you think HE would be impressed with that?

Sometimes i honestly think women forget they are NOT the only parent, or think they get ultimate say because "i'm the mum and i gave birth to them" like the guy had any choice in that. It's not doing any harm, especially if he deals with the rest of bedtime, so i really don't get why you're so up in arms, just do what you're doing, leave him to it, it's his son too.

Going against the grain here and saying you are not entirely unreasonable.

It would be best to start letting your toddler know that after 1 book and 1 song it's bedtime. If wide awake can read books by himself for a bit then lights out. Don't sit there singing for hours.

If DH insists on tv again tell him to put CBeebies 'daydream' on. It's a special programme that's designed for these situations. Peppa too stimulating imo.

1 book and 1 song as a pp suggested is a bit stingy I think! My 3yo loves books and we probably spend 30 mins reading them in his bed before sleep. I'm a single mum and I work full time though so I see it as really precious quality time. Taking it in turns if you're a couple is good because you each get that 1:1 time. Equally some couples are desperate to get their children to bed for time together so its personal preference/priorities.

Are you married to my husband? He does this all the time with our baby and it drives me mad. He needs a nap after about 3.5 hours of awake time at the moment or he is a nightmare. I put him down and he usually drops off. If my husband does it he will be tickling him, making him laugh and playing with him, then announces that the baby doesn’t seem tired so just let him stay up, which then ends up being a disaster as ds is overtired and starts screaming and is even harder to get to sleep. Wish he’d just bloody listen to me!

It's all very well saying about routine, but sometimes nothing works and then you have to improvise.

As I say, unless you have any serious misgivings about your husband's parenting, insisting that you are the only one who is ever right is making a rod for your own back.