Husband has just taken ds down stairs as he’s ‘wide awake’

[Georgeofthejungle]

I put ds (2) to bed. Later than normal as he had a late nap (accidentally). I put gonna to bed and sang to him (his thing), and sang and sang and sang. Still not asleep I told him I’d sing the song 1 more time and I was going downstairs. I did just that and came downstairs to have my tea (late as I was working). ds came out of his bedroom and standing at the top of the stairs (stair gate closed don’t worry). I was ignoring him as I wanted to see if that would make him go back to bed. He starts to cry. I’m just about to tell him to go back to bed and here comes DH who takes him down stairs telling me there is no point in him sitting up there on his own if he’s WIDE AWAKE. They are now sitting in the livingroom watching peppa.

😡

He is NOT wide awake, he is past tired now!!! But DH can’t see this and fees he knows better. Which he doesn’t - I do!!

We do this sometimes especially if there has been an unusual nap, just no point in spending hours in his bedroom trying to get him to sleep and we all just end up frustrated. It’s not the end of the world 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks everyone! Well I did leave them to it (as was my plan but needed to vent my frustration somewhere) and DH put DS to bed about 10mins who wothout me saying anything. He’s asleep now. So won’t be filing for a divorce just yet :)

Of course I am all for being a team as suggested by a PP but doesn’t that work both ways??

Napqueen -THIS! He doesn’t know how to send himself off. Ever since we took the side off his bed it’s a nightmare. Usually he is tired at bed time and it’s a story and 2/3 renditions and he’s off but sometimes I’m singing through gritted teeth! 🙄

I am another one of the lucky woman whose OH dud this too. He did it in the middle of the night too, when child was sick, teething, etc. I counted my blessings and went back to sleep.

As an occasional thing this is fine. I used to do the same with mine if they wouldn't settle. I think it's like us if we can't sleep - sometimes I'll get up and read in another room if I can't sleep then I seem to go off fine when I come back to bed.

...that escalated quickly.

mohammed

Are you drunk?

So... who's getting a spell?

that i was loosing my man

The word you're looking for is 'losing' not 'loosing'.

Otherwise, as you were.

So your DH has put himself in charge for the rest of the night and let you off the hook. Maybe put in some earplugs and enjoy an undisturbed sleep?

Sorry, I'm a bit behind. Glad it's all worked out!

Pick your battles OP. This is not one of them. And you do not know best. You just think you do. There is more than one way to parent and deal with a situation. Why would you shit on what could be a happy memory for your kid? A cheeky one off watching telly with his Dad when he should be in bed.

Give over. You're being agressively precious.

Oh no! Now I'll never find out the spell for keeping my man happy!

It's so annoying, especially if you are the person who is primarily the person responsible for putting into place, and then enforcing, routine that works for your children, when another person thwarts that. However, I'm not sure it was your DH you did that- it sounds like it was just circumstances. In the case of a late nap, teething, or any other kind of upset, I think all bets are off regarding routine and while- in an ideal world- you would try to stick to bedtime routine as much as possible, sometimes you have to just give in and accept the game's a bogey, deal with it, and reset the routine tomorrow, or asap. I have some sympathy for your husband's actions for these reasons, too.

But still, you have my sympathy. Was there a reason for the late nap? Is your child trying to tell you that their needs have changed/ something to monitor perhaps and adapt to if necessary

Hibu, old jacks boat would send ds off to sleep. Peppa is much too exciting.

Take the stairgate off. My 2yo has been managing stairs since he was 14mo.
He doesn't fall asleep on his own I have to sit with him until he's asleep, otherwise he's out of bed. Did the same with ds1 and he self settles now fine.

He's your husbands problem now lol! Eat your dinner and maybe go upstairs and have some YOU time :)

DH does this too, it irritates the heck out of me as I always seem to be the one doing the hard slog establishing and sticking to the routine then he takes the shortcut. It’s lazy parenting, on the other hand it is parenting and if it’s giving me a break and it works in the end, or at least doesn’t screw things up in the long term I can live with it.

To be honest I couldn’t be bothered to pick a fight over this. Easier to let him stay on sofa until drowsy than have him cry at top of stairs.

Bet you a tenner your little by plays up again tomorrow! I hope he doesn't of course, but, still... slaps £10 note onto table

Let's hope he's happy to carry on in the same vein for the next 10 years huh some people are so dramatic! It's one night. Saying you know best just makes you look a bit silly imo.

"But DH can’t see this and fees he knows better. Which he doesn’t - I do!!"

Well, as long as you don't come back posting in a year or two that your husband doesn't pull his weight and leaves parenting up to you. You sound like you have a very bad attitude.

It’s always a nightmare getting kids to sleep when it’s light so late. In the circumstances, a bit of tv isn’t a disaster.

Assuming your husband is a decent man, you don't want to undermine his confidence in his parenting, firstly because it is cruel to him and secondly because then he just end up backing away from everything to do with parenting and your workload will be seriously increased.

My dd aged 14 months had a late nap last night. Then carried on sleeping. Woke up at 11pm. Went back to sleep at 1 and then now we have been awake since 4am! No late naos ever again! Now today will be messed up too!

I think it's all very well saying OP is being precious and her way isn't necessarily best, but anyone that's had a child who is really difficult to settle at night or has a lot of night wakings will understand the importance of consistency and routine. Of course it's tempting to give in and let the child watch a bit of TV especially when it's the end of a long day and everyone is shattered, but a 2 year old will learn that if he doesn't want to go to sleep if he just holds out long enough he will be rewarded with what he wants.

I agree with PP that it is lazy parenting and potentially setting the parent that usually is responsible for bedtimes up to have a battle each night now that your DS knows that going downstairs and watching TV is an option. I would talk to DH calmly this morning and explain that if he wants to adopt his approach then he will have to take full responsibility for the aftermath. This means not just sitting with DS last night but also all the other nights where DS is fighting sleep in the hope of watching a bit of TV again.