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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think its embarrassing being an adult and unable to pump car tyres or add screen wash?

86 replies

traciebanbanjo · 05/06/2018 21:18

Just that really, I know a friend that's broke but still goes to pay someone to do simple tasks like that.

I think she likes to play the pathetic woman, and says she wants to get experts to do these jobs..

OP posts:

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 05/06/2018 21:19

I think it’s pathetic to pretend to be someone’s friend and then bitch about them online.

Iamclearlyamug · 05/06/2018 21:23

I can't pump my tyres or do my screenwash or check my oil - probably could learn if I wanted to but I don't. I have a pet mechanic who does all that for me. Judge me all u like I don't care 😂😂

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 05/06/2018 21:23

I think some people just aren't raised to be independent or practical and unless someone takes the time to show them new skills they never learn them.

My Dad was a bit of a stickler for women being independent; he taught me about rewiring electrics, changing tyres and skimming walls. There's not much in our house I can't do (I won't touch anything to do with gas/boilers). But if he'd not taught me those things I daresay I'd have at some point been one of those women who just don't know how to do stuff.

A proper friend really ought to say "Come on, spanner, I'll teach you" and help her out.

Original poster

traciebanbanjo · 05/06/2018 21:25

Friend is the wrong word, acquaintance Really.

That's fine if you have the money, but being broke and complaning about it then getting people to do basic jobs I struggle to take seriously

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 05/06/2018 21:26

You don't need much teaching for those tasks! I am no good at why but can do all those ok.

Original poster

traciebanbanjo · 05/06/2018 21:27

She had no interest in learning, I've tried and she just says "oh no I could never do that"

OP posts:

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 05/06/2018 21:27

Maybe she doesn't know how to do it or doesn't feel confident about it and her position is a cover up for her embarassment? Perhaps try offering to help her so that she can save the money? (For the record, I don't know how to do either of those two things either. Would defo have to get the manual out ...)

x2boys · 05/06/2018 21:31

i cant do it but then i cant drive either dh can hes also good a fixing hoovers, washing machines , he fitted a new engine in our car etc although he has no idea how to turn the oven on or washing machine 🙄

EggysMom · 05/06/2018 21:32

Oooh, I'd like to know how to skim walls, I get Youtube could tell me!

I've found Youtube very handy over recent months - I've diagnosed a fault with the boiler (frozen condensate pipe) and determined a fix (unscrew pipe and drip into bowl until warmer weather!); and unplumbed the toilet cistern to replace the diaphragm on its siphon flush.

I'm prepared to do most things with the help of Google and Youtube!

MrsJacksonBrodieTheSecond · 05/06/2018 21:34

I have no interest in learning how to do things like that. Dh likes to twat about with the car, I don’t. If I needed to I could google how to do it and all would be well.

EdWinchester · 05/06/2018 21:38

I passed my test in 1990 and I have never put air in the tyres, added screen wash or washed a car, for that matter.

ilovesooty · 05/06/2018 21:38

Do tell her what you think of her and let us know what she says.

DixieFlatline · 05/06/2018 21:39

When I compare with all the useless men who refuse to learn to use the washing machine etc. properly or cook or meal-plan in case it means their wife will actually expect them to do it, I can't get worked up about this. Some skills are far more crucial for day-to-day living.

Camomila · 05/06/2018 21:39

I can't even drive so...

I've also never made flat pack furniture by myself.
And I struggle to read google maps on my phone...
I also spill things a lot.

Otoh I can do lots of 'book smart' type things, I'm just not very good at practical things. Different people find things easier/harder.

Sirzy · 05/06/2018 21:41

Things like that are part of the test now aren’t they?

Original poster

traciebanbanjo · 05/06/2018 21:42

How can anyone not work a washing machine?! Or an oven for that matter?

OP posts:

sonlypuppyfat · 05/06/2018 21:43

My DH can't put petrol in a car, he's nearly 60

category12 · 05/06/2018 21:45

None of your business. If she'd rather spend money on having someone else do it for her, that's her look-out. We all make these sorts of choices, don't we? Maybe it's slightly more unusual for something so simple, but meh.

BonnieF · 05/06/2018 21:48

I agree. It’s absolutely pathetic.

So many women can’t be bothered to learn how to do simple practical motoring or diy tasks because they think it’s ‘men’s stuff’ then they wonder why some men don’t take them seriously as equals.

Go figure...

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 05/06/2018 21:52

Ive put petrol in the car less than 5 times in abbbooouuuttttt 30 years

Im perfectly capable...i just dont want to

I could probably learn that other stuff as well

But you are right... if money is tight and youve no one to do it for you then you need to do it yourself

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 05/06/2018 21:52

I can't operate the tumble dryer except to press the on/off button. I just can't figure out the other button combinations. I also never watch TV because I can't figure out how to turn it on and access the satellite dish.
But I'm a whizz with Microsoft Office.
And I can fire eat, which makes me totally cool among DD's friends.
We each have our own strengths.

Skiiltan · 05/06/2018 21:53

AIBU... to think its embarrassing being an adult and unable to pump car tyres or add screen wash?

Personally, I think it is embarrassing. Just like it's embarrassing not to be able to operate a washing machine, or cook a simple meal, or read a bus/train timetable, or use a self-scan checkout, or buy something second-hand when you don't actually need it to be new. None of these things are difficult, they all make your life easier and none of them carry much risk. I don't mind people being unwilling to change a fuse/plug or assemble a flat-pack wardrobe because I can understand that they'd be worried about doing something dangerous - and you need tools. But not being prepared to follow the written instructions on a petrol-station air-pump (assuming you can find one that works) so that you have to take time off work to go to a garage to get it done is fairly feeble.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 05/06/2018 21:54

I only learnt to operate a washing machine at 29

If you know how to do it...then someone will make you do it

Thats my theory

DazzlingMilton · 05/06/2018 21:57

What a weird post, I don’t really understand the point of it tbh.

There is a certain type of person (man or woman) who says “I’m not very good at that” because they don’t want to be very good at it. And there’s a certain type of person who will give anything a try including all the tasks you mention (ie me). I don’t think being either type is a problem until it negatively impacts other people in your life. If a woman can’t change the screen wash but her DH loves it and wants to, what’s the issue? If your friend is willing and able to pay someone who wants the work, what’s the issue? Ime issues mainly arise when one party takes advantage of the other’s good will.

DazzlingMilton · 05/06/2018 22:01

I know you say she’s broke but clearly she can pay.

Turn it around, I’ve never heard anyone bemoan a man for getting a takeaway when he’s broke because he can’t cook?

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