will we ever get married?!

[cookiemonster18]

I feel like I’m going a bit mad here.
Dear Fiancé and I have been engaged for a year next month and are in a largely happy relationship.
The biggest bone of contention and the cause of all of our arguments at the moment is when we will be buying the engagement ring and when we’re going to get married. You see, we were engaged for a mere week before I found out I was expecting. We had planned to choose the ring together after the proposal but then my partners car needed work and with baby on the way we decided to revisit buying the ring when money was less tight.
Throughout pregnancy I had suggested ring shopping but money was prioritised for baby which was completely fine. Now baby is 2 months old and I’m excited to get back to planning.
Last night my fiancé and I started speaking about rings and my partner says he’s still saving and we won’t be able to get a ring or put money down for the wedding anytime soon. We had a huge argument as he’s currently car shopping but since being engaged the only time either the ring or wedding are spoken about is when I bring it up and then we argue again!
I’m feeling insecure at the moment yet my partner reassures me the ring and wedding will come but not yet! Am I being a spoilt brat? Do I have reason to be upset?
P.s. with regards to the ring I don’t care about how big the diamond is I just want to look down at something on that finger, I’m also looking to plan a village hall wedding due to our financial situation and the fact I want the same surname as my DS and because I love my partner!!

Thanks

@MathasGinYard A proposal ring is a cheap ring similar in style to the typical engagement ring but of course not a precious stone or metal. Useful for (1) if the person proposing is unsure on style/size the other person would like (2) the other person has expressed that they would like to choose the ring (I did this but had a haribo ring for the event 😜) and if you ask the cynic in me (3) Another way for jewellers to make more money 😁

SAHP is not a synonym from working from home.

The former would require private income (probably from substantial portfolio of investments) whereas the latter is a form of (self) employment, for which the advice upthread that OP would need to return to work ASAP wouid apply.

I have never heard of a ‘proposal ring’,when did they become a thing? This has given me some ideas though - I’m about to start a new job and I’ve been unsure about wearing my rings as they are valuable and chances of them getting lost/damaged would be higher than I’m comfortable with. I’m going to buy a plain band to wear at work.

Ahh yes now I understand why speakout is offering such bizarre advice. Of course you are better off if your income is 'made up of a portfolio of investments ' ! Meanwhile back in the real world where the other 97% of women living with partners live. The complete opposite is true.

Married. (These things are not available to cohabiting couples as they are not even recognised as an entity in law)

1.Automatic property rights on the family home where the division on divorce is more likely to be 70/30 in favour of the person with care of children.

2 . Division of Assets from the marriage.

3.Automatic spousal pension and lump sum rights .(on death) and pension sharing on divorce. For those with Occupational Pensions. Very few pay a 'partner' pension.

1. Inherited State Pension.

5.Bereavement benefits. 6.The legal right to be consulted as next of kin should something catastrophic like a life support decision be needed. 7 . Inheritance Tax on larger estates. (In high cost property area this isn't hard to reach)

In cohabiting relationships a partner can 'Will' assets to partner but he /she can also change ALL of the Will without the others knowledge. Only finding out that it's all gone to the cats home/your step children/Cousin George/Secret Girlfriend. When he is dead.
Marriage makes the above rightfully yours in law.

I don't think a proposal ring is a "thing" but my DH proposed with a 2 carat sized rock of glass from M&S and then we went and chose one together. Needless to say my actual engagement ring is somewhat smaller!

Tbf I believe speakout makes things and sells them, not plays the stock market. But it takes time to build this up, and requires one to actually be capable of making something people want to buy. I can also see why people would be confused by the SAHM label applied in that instance, because that's WAHMing.

OP have an honest chat with your partner about what you both want.

I was in a similarish situation to yourself (but no kids) and I wanted to get married, my now husband was against it. After discussion it turned out he wasn’t opposed to marriage, but didn’t like the idea of a wedding. After discussing several options we settled on an idea that we were both happy with.

Sometimes it’s easy to get the two confused and if money is an issue he may be under the impression that you, or even family/friends would expect things beyond a sensible budget so would rather avoid the whole thing.