What exactly ARE you supposed to eat?

[minniemummy0]

I want to lose weight. A lot of weight. I want a second baby and I don’t want to go through the whole pregnancy considered high risk because I’m morbidly obese. (I had a relatively easy pregnancy and birth actually, no GD, worse thing was a lot of difficulty getting a cannula in, no one could find a vein, and a second degree tear). Despite the fact it was, objectively, very straightforward, I found the whole thing traumatic, I think because it was over-medicalised. I’m not criticising them, they acted properly, but I had a LOT of appointments, I wasn’t able to go midwife led in a birthing pool which I’m still gutted about, I had to inject with heparin twice a day from my first appointment at the hospital I six weeks post birth, and I was heavily pressurised I have an epidural as it would be better to have it in early if I were to have an emergency caesarean, which they acted like was practically a given. I’m sure my ability to breastfeed was also affected by my weight, I found it very hard to position her and latch, which was an enormous disappointment. I think I have developed some sort of health anxiety stemming from this.

Now I don’t want another baby just yet (mine only 7 months old). But I refuse to be morbidly obese when I try for another.

The thing is, I really don’t know how to lose weight anymore. People say, oh everyone knows what to do, they just don’t have discipline/time/motivation. But no, I genuinely can’t work out how I should lose weight. I’ve successfully done weight watchers in the past but I find the current system so complicated I feel crippled with anxiety every time I try to plan.

I tried Slimmig world but I HATED the meetings and I just don’t have time as they were nearly two hours.

I just don’t know what to eat and how to eat healthily. Yes I Could count calories. But how do I choose what to eat, how to balance different food groups, what things really ARE unhealthy and what is a fad. Are carbs bad for you? Is sugar? Are protein shakes something people should really be drinking? I really actually don’t know.

I wish there was a scientific diet. That tells me what to eat and in what quantities. And is healthy for humans and will help me lose weight and is sustainable.

I feel, so so down about myself and my body. I want to feel fit and healthy. Please help!! Please don’t judge me for being so overweight and stupid. I know I’ve failed but I need help.

I’m sorry for the essay.

If you're on Facebook check out Team RH Fitness absolute business for losing weight and gaining a better life eating normal foods.

I totally get you..there's loads of mixed messages regarding food/diet/nutrition.

Whats your diet like at the moment?

You haven’t failed and you are still a worthwhile human being and great mum.

A lot of people find My Fitness Pal is good. It allows you to track exactly what you are eating

no food is bad. but sugar shakes, cereal bars, smoothies, diet food.and fizzy pop are not crap, not food.

can you get to see a dietician? (i.e. someone qualified, not a nutritionist)

Sorry you're feeling down. A good rule of thumb or starting point is to eat as unprocessed as possible. Brown bread instead of white, porridge instead of cereals, no cakes/biscuits/crisps/similar, lots of protein, vegetables, fruit, and don't be afraid of fat (butter, milk, olive oil, cheese, full fat yoghurt). Reduce refined sugar and added sugar as much as you can. Drink water and herbal teas. Don't starve!

Ok, so first I would examine what you eat now, so we can try and advise you what changes you could make. Can you give us an idea of an average day?

Personally I like the old adage "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants". Basically what this is saying is to eat three proper meals a day made from actual ingredients (not processed), with loads of fruit/veg/pulses. You don't need faddy super low fat/low carb diets/supplements/shakes, just good, wholesome, real food.

formerbabe my current diet is really really awful, lots of fast food and take aways, snack foods like crisps and chocolates, not that many veg and practically no fruit, mostly fizzy drinks. I may not know what I SHOULD be eating, but I do know what I shouldn’t be eating and I know my diet is just about as bad as you could make it.

If you ask a GP, I think they would say that most people are most successful in losing weight if they join a weight management group like weight watchers or Slimming world. If you can afford the weekly fees then I really do think they work. (I have always been a SW member but I think both offer a sensible and healthy way to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle). I know that SW will still allow you to be a member throughout a pregnancy and have a tweaked eating plan to make sure you get the stuff you need.

I spent a looong time researching this, and settled on a Primal way of eating - it's a sort of relaxed paleo that allows some dairy. Lower carb, as it doesn't recommend grains - but carbs from veg / fruit / tubers are fine. I feel great.

I think the main thing is to cut out processed food as much as possible. Loads of what we see in the supermarket us just...weird, industrial...well god knows, but it's not food.

Team RH Fitness on Facebook. £5 a month, educates you how to a balanced healthy diet for life while losing weight and building muscle. Loads of support including live video sessions to ask questions, and calorie groups where you can interact with other people in your group and share successes and recipes etc. I don’t work for them, I’m just losing weight following their plan. Give it a go!!

I have a friend going to a diet club, it’s great only I know she is eating twice the portion size she should so will not lose weight.

Reduce your plate size, reduce your portion size and don’t snack between meals

Full disclosure, I’m not a dietician and I have no experience of losing a lot of weight but my SIL did and she said it was ‘easy’ once she got the hang of it: one small portion of protein (chicken, fish, etc) and a HUGE pile of fruit/veg every meal.

It looks very boring tbh! But it worked.

My parents have used the 5:2 diet to very good effect.

Good luck

OP I can’t recommend Team RH fitness enough. It’s a FB group coaching team that is calorie counting but teaches you about nutrition. There are no fads, no good group is demonised and there’s room for takeaways etc occasionally without it being a disaster. The only thing you really need to do is give up booze, at least in the short term. It isn’t a quick fix, it’s slow and steady. I lost 3 stone but it took over a year, but most importantly I’ve kept it off without restricting myself. I could do with losing another stone and half, I’m not in the right frame of mind and I’m struggling at the moment but I’ve learnt enough so far to not damage the success I’ve had so far. There are dozens of success stories from the group with people ranging from morbidly obese to power lifters wanting to gain muscle. It’s an incredibly supportive group, no judgement but you are expected to be honest and focus. If you find Richie Howie in Facebook you’ll get the gist and see some of the success stories. He isn’t to everyone’s taste, a bit preachy and sweary, but he does get results.

I'm same as @JontyDoggle37 losing weight cheaply with Rh fitness

NHS advice is best to follow it's not faddy, just about balanced eating and be kind to yourself, you've got a small baby. Calorie counting worked for me but doesn't for everyone, I stuck to around 1200 calories a day, three meals maybe a light snack or under 100 calorie dessert/yoghurt. Nothing too fatty, nothing with too much sugar, plenty of lean protein and veg, I didn't eliminate carbs but tried to eat wholegrain, brown rice etc rather than processed white bread etc and get some exercise, I find spinning brilliant for work stress but that takes time to build up to, short walks with the pram will be a great start especially in this weather, I did this for about 28 months a few years ago and lost over four stone, it's my default regime these days if I've put a bit back on, after holiday etc. I also always allowed myself one dinner a week where I could have what I wanted, not Chinese all you can eat buffet etc but didn't count the calories. It doesn't sound like you're breast feeding but if you are you'll need more calories, things like ww and SW get annoying for me converting into points/syns etc and I give up. I used my fitness Pal or diet secret to track calories, as you'll eat more than you realise and map my walk is really motivating in terms of walking. But only do this for you, baby sounds like she's doing well so there's no pressure.

Well even if you don't count calories/low carb and just cut out all the things you have mentioned there you are onto a good start! Start making your own food and using fresh ingredients. It's not as hard as it sounds nor as time consuming (depending on what you eat). I'd start by making sure you are getting at least your 5 a day and by drinking water instead of fizzy stuff. Then slowly start replacing takeaways with homecooked meals and making sure half your plate is veg or salad.

*18 months

I’d keel over on 1200 calories I’m so greedy! I have 2000 on Team RH and like I said I’ve lost 3 stone, you only need a 500 a day defecit to lose a pound a week.

I’m a ‘naturally’ thin person as in I’ve never worried about my weight or consciously dieted. I thinks it’s a bit down to genes but also personal tastes/habits.
I can’t stand anything sweet - goey cakes make me want to barf. Worst thing in the world is icing, so I’ve never been one for sugar. Don’t like biscuits/cakes/milk chocolate. I do however quaf down vast quantities of dairy products 🙈 always have a fridge full of baby bels, eat butter, only ever had blue top milk. So in my experience (completely unscientific!) I’m with the ‘fat doesn’t make you fat’ school of thinking.
I also don’t drive so walk everywhere (I think people forget how far legs can take us). Anything under 2 miles is usually my rule of thumb before I look at public transport. And I’m a natural fidgeter. With the walking (and carrying shopping etc) I’d say I’m quite fit without ever setting foot in a gym...
There was a dicumentry about the different habits of ‘naturally’ thin people compared to overweight on a year or so back - it was really interesting hence thinking about my own completely unintentional habits. I’ll see if I can find the link :)

Imo, your genes will have a bit to do with which foodstuffs you get on better and worse with - hence why she diets for some and not for others.

However, you've said you're eating badly and you know it.

You could start eating less processed food and more home cooked stuff, although that's difficult with a baby!

Generally if you're eating less calories than you're burning you'll lose weight. So either move to less calorific food or exercise more, best results probably seen with a combination of the two. Can you walk more? Might one of the Fitbit things work?

If you like slimmers world could you join online instead of going to meetings?

Good on you for acknowledging you need some help OP, wanting to change your diet and actively getting advice is a brilliant 1st step. Some good advice here, best of luck to you.

Mainly fruits and vegetables. Along with grains legumes nuts and seeds. That it

Cut the fizzy drinks for sparkling water? With some lemon juice for a bit of zing?

Popcorn as a snack (not the sugared stuff!) Instead of some other snacks you're currently eating? Nuts?