What exactly ARE you supposed to eat?

[minniemummy0]

I want to lose weight. A lot of weight. I want a second baby and I don’t want to go through the whole pregnancy considered high risk because I’m morbidly obese. (I had a relatively easy pregnancy and birth actually, no GD, worse thing was a lot of difficulty getting a cannula in, no one could find a vein, and a second degree tear). Despite the fact it was, objectively, very straightforward, I found the whole thing traumatic, I think because it was over-medicalised. I’m not criticising them, they acted properly, but I had a LOT of appointments, I wasn’t able to go midwife led in a birthing pool which I’m still gutted about, I had to inject with heparin twice a day from my first appointment at the hospital I six weeks post birth, and I was heavily pressurised I have an epidural as it would be better to have it in early if I were to have an emergency caesarean, which they acted like was practically a given. I’m sure my ability to breastfeed was also affected by my weight, I found it very hard to position her and latch, which was an enormous disappointment. I think I have developed some sort of health anxiety stemming from this.

Now I don’t want another baby just yet (mine only 7 months old). But I refuse to be morbidly obese when I try for another.

The thing is, I really don’t know how to lose weight anymore. People say, oh everyone knows what to do, they just don’t have discipline/time/motivation. But no, I genuinely can’t work out how I should lose weight. I’ve successfully done weight watchers in the past but I find the current system so complicated I feel crippled with anxiety every time I try to plan.

I tried Slimmig world but I HATED the meetings and I just don’t have time as they were nearly two hours.

I just don’t know what to eat and how to eat healthily. Yes I Could count calories. But how do I choose what to eat, how to balance different food groups, what things really ARE unhealthy and what is a fad. Are carbs bad for you? Is sugar? Are protein shakes something people should really be drinking? I really actually don’t know.

I wish there was a scientific diet. That tells me what to eat and in what quantities. And is healthy for humans and will help me lose weight and is sustainable.

I feel, so so down about myself and my body. I want to feel fit and healthy. Please help!! Please don’t judge me for being so overweight and stupid. I know I’ve failed but I need help.

The good news is that because you're very overweight and your diet is so bad, you're likely to see weight loss even with quite small positive changes. I'd bet that if you just stopped the fizzy drinks (I find they lead to more sugar cravings and it's a vicious cycle) and eat anything much that's not a takeaway, lard or junk, you'd lose weight.

What kind of food do you like? Can you cook? If not, and if you're in the takeaway habit because it's too hard cooking with a baby, you can still do healthy convenience food. Stuff like bagged salad, hummus, rotisserie chicken, smoked mackerel, ready made couscous, bread sticks, veg slices, that's just as easy as a takeaway, cheaper and loads better for you. If you're up to a bit of food prep there's fresh pasta, jackets, hell the good old beans on toast is a decent balanced meal for the effort.

It can be overwhelming when you are used to eating a highly processed diet. Try not to give up everything at once but instead identify specific food products to reduce or avoid consumption, one by one.

Fizzy drinks could be the first one. Stop buying it and replace it with water, herbal tea, diluted juice etc. Then you can maybe think about another processed food item to reduce, like biscuits or chocolate or crisps. Again, don't have a blanket ban on them.

Also try not to cut out entire food groups like carbs. You will miss them and start craving. Just reduce portions of carbs little by little and pad out your meals with veg you do like.

Trying to do everything at once is really hard but little by little is more manageable in the longer term.

Well OP, when I saw your post I thought "It's not that confusing, surely?" but having read the thread I'm with you!

Posters suggesting white sugar is somehow worse than other sugar (eg. in fruit), only eating bread at the weekends, etc... wtf! It strikes me that as one end of the scale is fiddling around with precise things and fads the other end of the scale is people not being able to access clear information about basic healthy(ish) eating. It's like asking for advice about teaching someone to read and having others recommend War and Peace.

If you have a really crap diet, start with the basics. For example, if you're having takeaway most days, cut it back to one day a week. If you eat between meals, cut this back to a piece of fruit or some veg sticks (carrot, celery etc). If you're having lots of fizzy drinks, cut down to one a day.

For meals, simple healthy stuff - don't worry too much about portion sizes yet, that come next. I'm wondering if something like Jack Munroe's cookery book might be helpful - I know that focuses on cheap meals but they're also straightforward healthy recipies. Proper food, not junk.

Once you've made a few changes like that, and are able to keep up the new healthier eating plan (and it'll show already, I' sure!) you can start to delve into it a bit more. But not helpful to jump in the deep end right now.

I would advise asking GP if there are any things like healthy eating courses they could send you on - a friend of mine was sent on an NHS course thingy for this and lost weight and is keeping it off, the advice sounded very sensible and practical. I don't know if these are available everywhere though.

All the best :)

What should you eat?

Veg and fruits=as much as you want
Pasta, rice, bread, meat, fish, eggs,cereals, yoghurt= moderate amounts
Oil, butter, biscuits, sugar, crisps, cheese=small to very small amount

for liquids, water is best.
Try to buy mostly fruits and vegs so you aren’t tempted by biscuits and crisps. If in doubt, check the calories content, if it is high calorie you can only have a small amount, if it is low calories (like veg) you can have as much as you like.

However you decide to approach this, one thing I found useful and you might too, is to repeat a mantra like 'healthy, positive choices' each time you make a healthy choice, or don't have a sugary snack.

It sounds daft and I said it in my head rather than out loud, but rewarding yourself with a positive statement acts as a motivational boost. I didn't want to constantly feel negative, or berate myself for being unhealthy/awful, so decided to be kind to myself. The mantra made me feel good, and it's easier to stick with something when you feel good about yourself and your choices.

If you have a lot of weight to lose at the beginning then theres actually nothing complicated about it.

You need to seriously cut back on how much you eat, cut out sugar, cut out processed food and alcohol.

Thats all for a start.

Don’t worry about trying to eat a perfectly balanced specific diet right away OP. Just download MyFitnessPal, choose a calorie goal per day (I’d say 1200 - 1500) and start inputting everything you eat. Stick to the calorie goal, the weight will fall off. Weigh yourself first thing, naked, every Monday morning.

r/loseit on reddit is a great support.

Just start. Losing weight is 90% diet, 10% exercise. You don’t need to work out to lose weight.

Just get cracking. It’s crucial for your health. It’s simple calories in calories out. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You’ll soon intuitively learn that you’d rather have 400 calories of a nice filling meal than 400 calories of a handful of Oreos and suffer later because you’re hungry.

Plan ahead and decide each day what you’ll eat the following day and input into the app. Have low calorie nice snacks in the house.

The first week you’ll feel ravenous as you’re so used to overeating massive portions. Stick with it and drink lots of water when you’re hungry. You’ll soon adjust! I’m a stone down in 4-5 weeks. Update us!

Agree at this point simplest is probably best. The exception would be if OP is someone who doesn't do things by halves and would respond well to a cold turkey approach.

I think as well OP one of the things that gets confusing is that there's weight loss advice and nutrition advice, and they're not necessarily the same thing. Put bluntly, you're going to lose weight if you take in fewer calories than you use. So you could stick to 1000 calories a day and consume this only in the form of Mars Bars, and you'd still probably lose weight. But obviously it'd be a bad idea because you'd be missing loads of key nutrients, your blood sugar would be all over the place and your teeth would fall out. At the other end of the scale, if you attempted to eat 1000 calories a day solely in broccoli, I expect you'd fart yourself to death in the attempt.

So people also talk about ways to limit calories whilst getting enough vitamins and minerals, which is broadly the same for everyone of similar age, build, activity level etc. Then also about ways to feel full, beat cravings, have enough energy etc, and those vary much more according to the individual. Some people do better with a cold turkey approach, some are better at controlled amounts of certain foods rather than cutting them out etc.

It’s fine to feel hunger too. It’s a sign your stomach is empty and you have chance to start burning fat! I doubt that’s scientifically accurate but it helps me to embrace it. Remember it’s not normal to NEVER feel hunger. It’s not something to be afraid of.

Not a lot has been said about your baby. At 7 months I imagine you are in the early stages of starting solids. You've outlined tremendous motivation to improve your diet and lose weight. From what you are saying, it sounds like fruit and vegetables are something you need to learn about and gain confidence in using. Why don't you make it a project to try things yourself but at the same time as exploring them with your little one? Because what you need to establish is ways of eating that will work well for you and for your children over the coming years.

I'm also a big fan of low carb / higher fat, for feeling satisfied, getting a good range of nutrients, and developing sustainable long term habits. Agree with having a look at the LCHF bootcamp boards - must go back there myself!

Very best wishes and feel free to PM me if you want to share more personal motivation with someone else!

As you say that you have a baby and are planning another I’m going to make an assumption that you live with a partner. (Also assuming said partner is male, for ease of reference).
What does he think of your weight loss plans? Is he encouraging you to get all the takeaways (even in a nice way, such as “don’t wear yourself out cooking”)? Do you have fizzy drinks in the fridge because he likes them? Does he ever cook for you? Is he overweight?
For your weight loss to succeed by following the principles that so many have explained on here you absolutely need your partner to be on board and not to derail you in a misguided attempt to be nice- “ go on, one Kit Kat won’t hurt” “You're beautiful as you are”. If he is up for/needs to improve his eating habits too, all the better to do it together. But if not you need to be clear that he should be encouraging and supporting you- eh you could say to him in the morning that (eg) you’re planning to go a day without fizzy drinks and get him to text you randomly with things like- have a lovely cup of tea!, you’ve done well, only 3 hours to go, etc. I remember trying the 5:2 diet, and my DH being recruited to bar the way to the bread bin when I started to crack, he’d distract me with “let’s watch this on TV” etc.

Some partners can get jealous, resent you for making life less “fun”- “ what, you’re mot having a glass of wine? You’re so dull!”.
Tell us about yours.

Eat clean. No processed foods, only meat, fruit and veg, bits and eggs. No dairy. It will drop off.

Good luck!

OP will need lots of support with changing her diet. For me, my PT guided me, for months.

If her diet is so full of sugar and processed stuff, she will have proper withdrawal symptoms trying to cut the junk out, I.e feeling rubbish, headaches, no energy etc. You need support going through this.

unfortunately, you can’t just leave it as it is. It is a time-bomb which will eventually lead to diabetes, heart disease etc etc

OP needs to find a good support group and to know that it is a very long, slow process, like with any addiction really. There won’t be a time when she can say job done and will go back to eating junk and stuff herself with sugar again. It is for life. Diets all fail because they are temporary, people get fed up of the restrictions, come off them and retain all they lost and more. OP needs to find a way of eating she can sustain, not just for a few weeks/months, but going forward for life.

cut the junk. just don't buy them. Pick a few simple healthy dishes you like and learn to make them on youtube.

Oil, butter, biscuits, sugar, crisps, cheese=small to very small amount

baby steps I think. it seems like there is loads of room to cut out junk. there isn't anything wrong with butter or oil or cheese (in reasonable amounts).

water is good. if you like fizzy treats, you could make a glass of 1/4 fruit juice + 3/4 bubbly water. quite refreshing actually.

Has exercise been mentioned? I appreciate this is primarily a food thread, but gentle exercise at first, combined with cleaner eating, and you will fly.

Thank you so much for all the replies. I’m taking it all on board. Lots of different advice but the common thread running through them all seems to be the less processed the better. I’m still not exactly sure what I’m going to do/eat but I bought some steamfresh veggies whilst shopping today, haha! Someone said something that really resonated with me, listing ways in which you can get healthy convenience foods, like buying bagged salads instead of making them up. I am not a good cook (surprise surprise) and find meal planning overwhelming so knowing ready prepared vegetables aren’t completely awful made my day!

A few people asked about my partner. He is just as overweight as me. He is very supportive and wants to lose weight himself but also finds it very difficult. He actually is the one that does most of the cooking as I just never really learned. But he uses a lot of olive oil, butter, cheese and such. He’s just got into a set way of cooking, we were both single most of our lives and I relying on my parents cooking whilst he relied on himself,
Imagine a single man who likes cheeses, cream, butter etc who just has to please himself, that’s how he’s always cooked. He really wants to change too as he has a health condition that is made worse by the extra weight. His problem is he finds the mental burden of trying to think of what to make incredibly challenging and it depresses him. I don’t blame him as he is doing most of the work. I should do more - he said If I told him what to make he would make whatever I wanted, he is just as lost as me in what to cook!

I think I know how to make some small changes for now, I think I am going to tackle the drinks first (luckily we are both tee-total so no alcohol to worry about). I’m going to change to water after what we have in has been used up. I also am thinking of ordering one of those plates as they seem a real fo proof guide!

Oh and as for excercise we have decided we will all take the dog for a long walk after evening meal, the dog usually gets a walk round the block which we know is not enough for him so we are going to go out as a family, partner walking the dog and me pushing the pram. So it will be of benefit to all of us. We both have Fitbits so I’m going to dust them off and charge them up so we can start tracking again. I think I will have to work up to 10,000 steps but I can make a start.

It’s good that your partner wants to help and lose weight too.

I found The Hairy Dieters cook books good. I think they have a new one out. Lots of ideas for regular family food but healthy and low in fat.

Tackling the drinks first is a really good idea. Maybe whilst you are doing that have a look for a couple of healthy cook books and do a menu plan with your partner of some recipes you like the look of. Do a shopping list based on the plan.

Here's some things that have helped me.

• think about food calories like you would a tight budget of money - you have a limited amount to spend, so spend it wisely on things that matter to you and don't waste them on things you don't enjoy. You don't have limitless funds or a credit card of calories to spend.
• therefore no mindless calories - if you have a biscuit/cake it better be a bloody lovely one. Save up your calories and spend it on something you'll love like a burger/glass of wine if you've had a better lunch/other meals.
• absolutely minimal sugar for breakfast - shredded wheat and warm milk or porridge with nuts and half a banana. It should really fill you up with wholewheat and/or protein. So many breakfasts are full of sugar or hardly fill you up so you're ravenous by 10am.
• no snacks - just drinks like water or a cup of tea/coffee between meals.
• lean protein to keep you full and build lean muscle
• get around by walking briskly/cycling - keeping you generally healthy.
• strength training to build muscle. A body with good strong healthy muscles burns more calories just from moving about.

Hope this helps- I think you're doing the right thing by trying to get in shape before getting pregnant again.

Steamfresh veggies are fine. You maybe pay a bit more for them but it's still cheaper than a takeaway! What would you have them with? Lots of easy choices. If DH can cook, could he roast a chicken, or bake some fish?

You can get healthy eating weekly planners online, if his problem is doing the thinking. Then just follow them. Healthy recipes too. If he says the sort of thing you both like, it's easy enough to find healthy ways to cook it. Like if you're both keen on chicken pasta, there are versions of that with lots of veg rather than cream.

10 Things You May Not Know ABout Carbs

Just thought I'd post this up here - because DH sent it to me today, and my god, I wondered if it was some kind of late April Fool or something.

If you freeze bread, then toast it - you get better carbs.

And if you freeze carbs, say pasta - and re-heat in the microwave - then your body will only take on about half the calories as fresh pasta.

I've shoved my bread in the freezer!

Haven't read all the comments but have you tried the book and hypnosis CD - I can make you thin, by Paul McKenna

I found it life changing, so easy, and not a diet. Have a look at the reviews on amazon

Logging your food on your Fitbit can be really helpful and quite an eye-opener. You can set it a weight loss goal and it will tell you how much to come in under each day. I could see from it that when I was trying to lose a bit of weight I was going in far too hard so no wonder I was giving up! It also explained why sometimes after I came in after my late shift on one particular day I also ate some muesli before bed - I always thought that was weak-willed of me but I did so much rushing around that particular day the Fitbit was registering an 800 calorie deficit - no wonder I wanted more to eat!

I haven’t had any takeaways or fast food since starting this thread! Today I had grilled chicken, salad and potato rosti from M&S for dinner. I haven’t really started “dieting” yet but am trying to be more mindful.

Skittlesandbeer I ordered the CSIRO book to have a look at, it looks very interesting. Thank you for the recommendation!