For upsetting MIL over names?

[eniledam]

My DD is due in August, and MIL is stressing me out when it comes to what surname we will give her.

My DH already has a double-barrelled surname. For the sake of anonymity, lets say it's "Dewington-White." I have one surname - call it "Bedford".

I've always wanted to double-barrel my DC surnames. I think taking the paternal name is antiquated. I've suggested to DH that we name DD "Bedford-White" and he is happy with this. But my MIL is devastated that we are omitting "Dewington", as this is her family name. (For context, MIL and FIL are just Mr & Mrs White. They named my DH and BIL Dewington-White because at the time she thought her family name would die out otherwise.)

Since then, there are more Dewington children in the family as her brothers went on to have DC. However, they are all girls, so may change their names when they marry.

AIBU to want to keep my surname for my DC, and omit hers/half of DHs? I thought about keeping "Dewington" but it's an absolute mouthful when put with "Bedford". I know when she named DH she thought her family name would then survive down the line with his DC - and now I come along and want to get rid of it. Is it worth upsetting her?

What on Earth has this to do with your mil? You d9 what you and dh want, without reference to her. Bloody outrageous, given what she did to the surnames!

This is why I don't really get the point of double-barrelling. It only keeps one name, and as here usually the maternal one, in the mix for one more generation.

This is why I don't really get the point of double-barrelling. It only keeps one name, and as here usually the maternal one, in the mix for one more generation.

I know some people do it to keep the family name going, but I think for most people - like me and my DH - it's less about that but more about us both sharing some of our name with the children when they're young. What they do with their names as adults is totally up to them.

I've done this. She was very pissed off and blanked me when she came round. She got over it. Or maybe she didn't I don't know. Neither do I care. It's his name

YANBU we have done this. My name was already double barrelled and so we used my fathers families name with my husbands name as our childs last name. My husband and I also changed our names to this.

Its a bit sad to lose mums maiden name but you cant have a triple barrelled name! Someones has to go. And you and your husband have decided which it is, and what you have decided is fairly normal as it is usually the mums maiden name which goes in the end. Its not some massive insult!