I totally get that you are fed up of being the one who does everything. DH clearly needs to pitch in more. But you can't let everyone derail your plans because of this. Its not the only way to resolve it.
He said you were mean? That's pretty mild TBH. Was it justified? you were understandably resentful at having to work so hard and then having to work so hard at everyone else's leisure, but if you were being snappy to them about getting ready, was he correct to say he felt you were being mean to him?
I have often found that getting them all ready for a day out, however much they may want to go is a bit of a performance, it just is. they all drag their heels, and conscious of the time I snap at them a bit. So if my DCs said I was being mean, I probably was.
But I wouldn't throw away a lovely day out, which I know we'd enjoy once we got there, just for a bit of whinging from the kids and when we are there and they're enjoying it, I cannot resist saying I told you so to them, which is payback enough.
What you've shown him is that if he says anything you don't like, you will cancel, go back to the house and he will be blamed for spoiling everyone's fun etc. Everyone is then cooped up in the house feeling even more resentful, when you could have just ignored him, gone to the beach and given him the chance to apologise when everything was calmer.
Your reaction doesn't have to be automatic, in fact its better left til you yourself feel calmer. It's going to be harder for him to talk to you or tell you what he thinks, if he knows it will cause a big reaction like this. I know its hard, but sometimes if you want to be in control, you have to forge ahead with your plans and worry about the back chat later.