To despair? Please tell me positive stories of your DC whose A levels went horribly wrong.

[MargoLovebutter]

DS is going to tank his A levels. I’m not exaggerating or hedging my bets or anything like that. He is going to do really badly.

I’m struggling to understand how a boy who is academically able and hasn’t gone off the rails is going to do this badly but that’s another topic.

He needs 3 Bs for his uni course (biochemistry) and realisticly, he is looking at 1 B if he is lucky in music and there is a strong possibility that he won’t scrape Ds in two of his subjects: biology and chemistry! He is getting Es in all the practice papers and the teachers assure me they aren’t marking harshly.

He is despondent and I’m worrying myself into a small hole.

Please can I have some stories about DC who turned around from doing much worse than they were expected to.

My nephew failed his A-levels. Not missed his grades for university, failed all three ungraded. In his case it was a bad combination of not being one of those kids who finds academic work easy, and a bad PS4 habit (skipping college, up ALL night gaming).

When his friends disappeared off to university it was a bit of a wake-up call. He enrolled at a different college, took a qualification other than A-levels (I can't remember exactly what but I think some kind of BTEC) that is well-enough liked by reasonable universities. Worked hard at university, got a 2:1, and is in a decent (if not stellar) graduate role in a large company.

I got straight A stars at gcse having done bugger all work and then got a D in my physics a level again after doing bugger all work (which is what I was going to study!) I actually still got in off the back of my other results but switched my course to arts after one year. Can he look at a music course in clearing if that's his strongest subject?

I got BDE at A level, I think DH did worse than I did. Both of us went to an ex poly and graduated with a 2:2. DH got a graduate job straight away - I remember him going into uni to request his transcript early because his employer wanted proof. It took a few years for me to climb the ladder but I managed it. Neither of us are particularly academic but we work in good jobs now with a reasonable (not high) income.

Me! My mum was very ill in my final year and I dropped from AAA prediction to B,C,C after no work. I took a few years out to work and went to uni at 22. Different subject to the one I initially applied for. Went straight from uni to a job with one of the Big 4.

My parents flipped at my results and it took a long time to repair our relationship.

Oh OP I feel for you. I'm feeling tense enough about my own son's GCSEs and A-levels are a whole different ball game.

If it helps, I ballsed up my A levels. Predicted Bs and Cs for all four, and ended up failing two, and getting a D and E for the other two. Lost my place at uni and felt like my world had ended. For a few days it feels awful, but then the clouds part and other paths make themselves clear and it could be that this is a blessing in disguise even though it feels far from it now.

He will be fine, as will you. It doesn't feel like it now, but it'll all work out. Whether he explores different paths or retakes and goes hell for leather at it, it'll all work out for the best. In the meantime, there's gin.

DD had set her heart on midwifery but her A-levels were a disaster. She hated the A-levels she'd chosen. Her 6th form was unsupportive.
She was going through some other stress at the time.

She took a couple of years out, worked full-time in various jobs/volunteered. to earn a living and get some life experience. Went back to college to do an Access course in nursing (having re-thought her original plan for midwifery). Got into a prestigious Uni on the back of her Access course and her experience in the meantime (working as a care assistant, doing voluntary work with disabled children) and is (fingers crossed) about to qualify as a child nurse.

Sometimes kids just need to have some time away from academia, think about what they really want to do, think about Plan B, Plan C and Plan D, re-group and pick themselves up and dust themselves down.

DS1 sailed through GCSEs with A's. became complacent and flunked 2 of his 3 AS levels. He went back and started 6th form again with new subjects and is just about to sit his exams this week. He has put so much more effort in this time round, mainly because he is happier with his choices.

Margo Thank you, I'm very proud of him.

The gov.uk website has great resources for students and parents on apprenticeships and there's a search facility to look for them across the country. There are apprenticeship fairs too but they might have all finished this year
www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeshipsearch

There's also this site www.notgoingtouni.co.uk/apprenticeships-223 which I found helpful at that age.

I also know people who have done them with BT, British Gas and a pharmaceutical one.

My husband, despite being intelligent, failed is A levels. Got a job for a couple of years then went to Uni & got a 2:2 so not the best.

He now earns a six figure salary & is continuing to rise up the career ladder. All is not lost, sometimes you just need to take a different route to get where you’re going.

OK

1. He hasn't tanked them yet. You might be pleasantly surprised. A levels seem to be designed to stress some kids out to the max.

1. DD is now 19 and doing an advanced diploma in Applied Science because she dipped out of her A levels in April last year. She was seriously stressed and anxious and simply couldn't function. She took the rest of the academic year off and applied to her current course to start in Sept. She was also very academic and hard working having got 6 A*s, three As and a B at GCSE and having very precise and ambitious plans for university. Now her plans are different but no less ambitious and she is again doing really well. There is life outside of A levels. There are some universities that won't accept B techs but not that many.

This is just based on my personal experience. Did average GCSEs because I couldn’t be bothered. Got an A in English, CC in science though. So for my AS levels I took English Lit (because I knew I could do well), sociology (because my older sister said it was easy), and biology and chemistry because I really enjoyed science, and actually had the intention of doing a biology related course at uni.

All A-levels are a massive jump up from GCSE, but I can’t emphasise enough what a huge jump it is for the science subjects - especially chemistry. I’ve never bombed harder in my life. Ended up dropping biology and chemistry at AS because I failed both subjects, picked up an extra AS level (English language) and left college with an A and two Bs. Now have a degree in English Literature and have a very good job as a professional writer.

So - my advice would be for him to stick with music. A music degree is highly respected, not sure what his options would be after uni, but I really believe that uni is still worth it even if it’s only for the 3-4 years of artistic development.

I would also say not to be surprised at all that he’s bombing chemistry and biology. My friends who managed to stay on to A level were highly intelligent, scientifically minded, and the vast majority of them were lucky to come out with a C at the end of it - most achieved D and under and had to go through clearing to do a non-science related course.

Chemistry A level is probably one of the toughest courses there is, in my opinion, and what you do at GCSE is no reflection of the subject at that level.

My DS cocked up his a-levels but did well enough to scrape into uni. He's 2nd year in now and extremely happy with a good set of friends and a social life that would make Paris Hilton jealous. Not sure how he's doing academically now but he's happy and that's all I care about. Everything else will sort itself out eventually

My DH tanked (by the standards of someone ego was supposed to get all As and go to oxbridge) due to u forseen circumstances (missed some exams etc). He sat the exams a few months later and started work g but then decided that he wanted to go to university after all. He got a place through clearing at a slightly less prestigious university. He now has three degrees, all firsts/distinctions and taught at Russel group universities for a few years. What people forget od that you can go to university at any age. If your son needs to he can just resit his a levels. It really isn't a big deal.

Buttercup, he does enjoy music but he only has Grade 8 in one instrument. I'm not sure that this is enough to pursue music properly. He can tinker around on all sorts of other instruments but has never pursued exams in them.

Could he go to music college rather than uni? I would only recommend it if he does want to actually study it, I just assumed if he was planning on going to uni then he would still want to go, even to do a BA rather than a BSc. I had a few friends at uni who did music and they all only specialised in one instrument. I know you need a certain number of points to get into uni, so an a-level in music alone (I assume) wouldn’t be enough, but a specialised music college could be better suited.

Of course, absolutely nothing wrong with not going to uni at all, if that’s not what he wants.

I didn't even do A levels as I hated school so much, I then tried to do them at college after working for a year or 2 and hated them. I then worked and had a baby. When said baby started reception I did an access course and then went on to get a 1st class honours degree, whilst also popping out a 2nd baby mid degree.

Me! Failed my a levels really badly first time around. Went back to college and did 1 extra year to resit two plus take another one in a year. Scraped by with good enough grades to get into uni. Whilst at college met a group of people who are still my best friends almost 30 years later. Have done some amazing jobs and seen the world. Been living in NYC for 8 years and very happy. Oh and have never had a job that even remotely relates to either my a levels or my degree... !!

I did reasonably well at GCSE (Bs and Cs, but I've never been an A student in my life), but I simply lost interest at A Level. I think possibly I'd been in school too long. My personal life was far more interesting (I cringe looking back, it was all about my boyfriend and the drama with his ex - it took me literally years to put that down. Embarrassing to think of now) and I simply lost interest. I thought nothing of skipping lessons to be with my boyfriend and I remember the night before my history A Level paper 2 (the hardest) sitting in bed reading a book and thinking, perhaps I should have done some revision. I remember looking through my notes in the middle of the night and thinking, yep, I've cocked this right up. And I did. 1 C at English and 2 Es in RE and History.

I didn't bother with clearing, and decided to get a job. But I couldn't seem to find one that worked for me - they either needed too much experience which I didn't have, or they wanted me to work Saturdays which I just wouldn't do - season ticket holder at my football club and I have NEVER regretted putting football first. It was my life then. Still is to a great extent, although kids and DH just about take precedence these days.

Anyway, I reapplied to university part way through the year, got accepted to do the course I wanted, and really engaged with it all. Loved uni, wanted to do well. I was the first person in my family to go to uni so a good result was important. I got a strong 2:1, not a million miles from a first. I have worked since, although only part time while the kids are small. My job isn't massively high paying, but I enjoy it and I get to use my English skills a fair bit, which is all I've ever really been any good at!

So I'm sure your son will be fine. And failing his exams aren't the end of the world, he can always work for a bit, re-take, or perhaps work and study through a company? I have done various courses through the companies I've worked for, extra bits and pieces to add to my CV.

A school friend absolutely ballsed up his A-levels through too much cider and not enough work, and re-did his final year of 6th Form. He then went on to a first class degree and an excellent career in the civil service. He was the first of our group of friends to be a higher-rate taxpayer, one of the first to have a mortgage, and now has a job he loves, a great family life, and is unrecognisable as the boy my mum used to call Greasy Dave. He got a nasty shock when he failed his exams and it put the necessary rocket up his arse to prove to himself that he was better than that. Incidentally, he's the first in his family to go to university and has had a much more prestigious career than any of his family. His parents encouraged him to do well but there wasn't the expectation that there is in some families, he's totally self-motivated.

It’s not enough to get him into a conservatoire but a music degree is probably better done away from a music college as they can be pretty toxic places. There are loads of career paths from a uni music degree and if he hates sciences now it might take the pressure off in the exams if he knows that could be an option. My son is doing bio and chem tomorrow so good luck with the Chem tomorrow!

Thanks Contra - good luck to your son too.

One of mine dropped out of A levels and is now an apprentice engineer with all distinctions at btec, top of cohort in skills etc

Another changed subjects after lower sixth. Still got poor A level grades. Went to not prestigious uni. Did fine at degree. Has just got her dream job. I so remember how deflated she was when she got accepted at uni, "I don't know whay they want me with these rubbish grades." If only she'd known then that things woukd work out fine.

I was talking to my sis about this recently as she is a teacher. She said some kids can coast and get really good GCSE grades, and never study. But it is a massive change when doing A levels. She said they have to learn how to study, in the years in secondary school. Because suddenly realising before your A levels start that you actually need to work is too late, and most don't know how to study if they haven't had to do it before. You just can't 'wing it' when it comes to A levels.
On the plus side, if he is bright and a good guy doing homework etc, I'm sure all is not lost. There is always a 'back door' to most careers, he will find his way.

That's good to hear Peggy. I think you are right Eleanor there is a massive step change to A levels from GCSEs.

OPjust saw your thread when I looked up A levels in search.
My son is doing Music A level too (and he would be thrilled if he gets a B) and humanities subjects and has always had trouble getting higher than a D in the humanities essays. Listening to his description of what he wrote in answer to some of the questions I think that for people with Asperger's one of the biggest issues seems to be exam technique and "what is the question asking me?"
Ds seemed to misread a lot of the questions/just slightly off topic in his answers. At Gsce you get so many points for just regurgitating information whereas A level is calling for higher order reasoning. Ds is smart enough but a teacher would have to teach him individually just what his response should be a certain question, over lots of practice sessions, as he doesn't seem able to generalise from what he has learnt in class in a large class (24 students in his classes).

It may be that maturity will make the difference, or a different sort of course with less exams, but I just wanted to mention the Asperger's angle because I think what appears quite obvious to teachers (about how to answer the question)might not appear so to our literal children. Small tailored classes can help a lot. When I resat English I finally understood what the A level questions were asking for, thanks to a very small structured tutorial group at a crammer.