To despair? Please tell me positive stories of your DC whose A levels went horribly wrong.

[MargoLovebutter]

DS is going to tank his A levels. I’m not exaggerating or hedging my bets or anything like that. He is going to do really badly.

I’m struggling to understand how a boy who is academically able and hasn’t gone off the rails is going to do this badly but that’s another topic.

He needs 3 Bs for his uni course (biochemistry) and realisticly, he is looking at 1 B if he is lucky in music and there is a strong possibility that he won’t scrape Ds in two of his subjects: biology and chemistry! He is getting Es in all the practice papers and the teachers assure me they aren’t marking harshly.

He is despondent and I’m worrying myself into a small hole.

Please can I have some stories about DC who turned around from doing much worse than they were expected to.

Don't stress and don't think it's the end of the world. As lots of MNers have said he may just need to grow up!

My DS coasted his GCSEs and did well enough to qualify for his schools entry criteria for A levels; they refused to take him. He did various short term jobs and eventually joined the RAF. Decided he wanted more and was incentivised enough to do an Access course (after leaving RAF). At 26 he started his degree and achieved a 1st. He did a second qualification 5 years later and received a Distinction. He has just told me his employer wants him to do his Masters and they'll pay for it. I never thought I'd see the day!

My dsis repeated a year to resist a levels, then went on to get a 2.1 in a good subject that she is a professional at.

Can you afford some tutoring for him?

I failed mine too and tbh it was the wake up call I needed as I missed out on my place at uni and had to go thru clearing. Sometimes as a parenting your job is to stand back and let it happen. Your son needs to learn his own way and if he fails then he will have to learn how to pick up the pieces. He will be fine. I know it's not nice to watch but not everyone learns through being nagged at. Some of us learn the best lessons thru experience

Your DS needs to explore what he loves. It clearly isn't biology and that is totally ok! He'll be fine! Maturity is a great ally. This helps. And he's bright. Intelligence will guide him in the direction that is right for him. Really, trust that everything will unfold the way it's meant to for him. Don't see this as failure but as an opportunity for him to find his fit!

Know a girl who didn't get in for medicine as she tanked her A levels, retook the year and went to uni to do a related degree, graduated top of her year and now doing graduate medicine.

Know another who tanked hers and decided not to go to uni, took a while out from education doing here and there jobs, then got a job as a trainee in a tax firm and is now a chartered accountant.

Both of these were very able, predicted top marks and just couldn't deal with the pressures at that particular point in their lives. Honestly it isn't the end of the world if he takes some time out.

I think this is really common. GCSEs are relatively easy, A-levels are much harder and there is a big step up. Many kids are lulled into a false sense of security by their GCSE results and don't realise they can't afford to coast for a month at A-levels, let alone an entire year.

There are LOTS of options available. Your DS can apply to a lower-ranked uni, he can resit the exams a year later, or even change his course nd trajectory altogether (is biochemistry really a great idea if he's now loathing all of biology?). My DH started doing maths, physics, chemistry A-levels at a school where he was badly bullied. His parents then moved house (job-related, not bullying-related) and he started his A-levels again with social sciences. He went on to get a great degree, MA, PhD and was given a Chair at 40, so he's now a professor. He would tell you that it's better to have a false start at 17 than later in life.

Always, I got extra tutoring for him over the Christmas and Easter holidays. I cannot understand how he can be doing as badly as he is in Biology and Chemistry!!!!

Wow, Karatema - that's fantastic.

I had very decent 'O' levels (am old), never really 'got' A levels. I didn't want to go to university, but everyone thought I was clever so should stay on at school. Can't even remember my A grades but it's something like BCC.

Went off to work after that. Had a perfectly nice life, with perfectly good jobs and went back to university part time as a mature student, leaving with a first class degree in 2008.

Not everyone wants to, or has to, go to university after school. Nowadays you don't have to be set in one career for life, you can chop and change and go back to study whenever you want. It's a lot nicer now than it was forty years ago, when you had to decide at 14 what you were going to do for the rest of your entire life.

I failed my a levels as I didn't bother studying so I got a job in admin.

Then when I was 24 I got into a Adult Nursing course at the local uni & became a Staff Nurse.
I just had my GCSEs (all grade C or above) & experience working as a care assistant.

I've had to give up that career due to health reasons but it just shows you can be successful despite not doing a levels well.

Despite not having a Nursing career now I still have my BSc which I am very proud of.

I know several people who resat a year and are now doing just fine, did uni and have a job.
My DP tanked his A Levels, cried after results day which is a rarity, we worked out a plan for him and he got onto an apprenticeship with London Underground. He's now hopefully about to be promoted to a Lead Engineer earning over £50k at 24.
Myself, I did OK with BCD but lost my ambition along the way and didn't go to uni. However, I've had several office jobs with lots of experience and I am earning OK. I'd like to retrain at some point just working out what in! We have even bought a house in suburban London so A Levels aren't the be all and end all

DS1 was a lazy arse and pretty immature.

Flunked his A levels. Fortunately we could see it coming and he had applied for a degree with a foundation year at a decent uni. Knuckled down for that year and got the equivalent of three decent A levels. Ended up with a comfortable 2.1.

Be aware that, with the ubiquity of the 2.1 nowadays, many grad scheme jobs use UCAS points as an application filter. DS totally failed to get anywhere with his grad scheme applications and was quite dejected for a time and felt that his degree was a waste of time.

He worked temp jobs, saved money and travelled for a year, then got an entry level Civil Service job, which he has hated. However he persevered and one year on he has a promotion to a 27k job in an area that will allow him to utilise his degree. Naturally he is delighted.

I think it was all about maturity for DS1. Nowadays he's very much the cool older brother to DS2, encouraging him to work hard and maximise his potential.

DH is a lecturer according to him they are currently in a drop in 18 years old numbers - the numbers pick back up in our own children's cohort another 5-6 years time.

I got very good GCSE results - I ended up with A in one science subject B in general studies and E in both physics and maths.

I’d wanted to leave the school which hadn’t been happy place for me ever – but my parents insisted I had to stay there for A-levels.

Maths issues – taking GCSE maths months early getting B instead of A and not doing any maths really till staring A-level and poor teacher. Most of my friends who could swapped to stastical maths with better teacher but us taking physics weren’t allowed to.

Physics – the teacher was the problem. He bullied my Asian female friend of course then got mixed race boy off then started in on me – when it looked likely I’d leave started in on only other two girls. My parents refused to let me change subjects – worried like my older Db I’d drop out of A-levels. I think other students saw what was happening as later on tried to help me– at one point he refused to teach me and another girl a whole module as we wouldn’t understand.

Everyone else on my course ended up with private tutors but my parents thought it wasn’t necessary and when I complained to them about the teacher they told me to “show him” with good results.

Revision was horrible experience - so worried about what I didn’t know and worried when I did understand I was worried I was missing something my confidence was rock bottom. I nearly walked out of the physics exams when I saw the paper.

My parents were upset with my results - they'd picked them up and opened them as I was working and not keen to get them convicned maths and pysics would be worse.

My second choice university – a great city and good department had given me a very low Ucas offer so I’d hit that but my first choice I’d need B and C not Es. When I rang they took decide to include the General studies for UCAS points and took me – wasn’t a popular subject and they clearly wanted to fill spaces plus me having taken science A was an advantage as over half their intake wouldn’t have. Left with a 2:1

Summer job waiting to graduate one of people I worked with had gone through clearing started lasted a term wrong course wrong place and she had been working since but had a place that September to try again - saw her few years later 2:1.

Woman I lived with for Master had failed A-levels but done them at night school in London somewhere - got her to University. She thought it was better as she was more prepared. She did well.

My DH tanked uni badly. In his last year his tutors told him he could carry on like he was stoned all the time making no effort and just get a pass grade which would allow him to retake the following year, or work really hard flat out and get a 2:2.

Being stoned indecisive he couldn’t make up his mind a vacillated between the two so ended up with a 3rd class honours degree which he couldn’t retake but was no bloody use either.

He went into construction and has self funded through a variety of practical courses for skills, machinery and now works in construction management making good money.

If he’s not feeling it academically getting onto a course for construction skills from electricians, plumbers or even just starting off as a labourer and saving up to put himself through courses for machine operating while doing that is a good bet. Good money and in demand skills that can be useful for emigration and transfer worldwide.

Apprenticeships are also a good bet, as others have said. But you need to be careful with apprenticeships that you are coming out the other end with good skills. So science, engineering, accountancy, technology based apprenticeships are good.

Retail based and business administration apprenticeships are frequently crap and just an excuse to underpay without really learning much useful.

Family member,private school,A plus in mocks,star student.failed every A llevel.
Now very high earning director.
Don't despair

I tanked my A levels 20 years ago, the best thing for me really, I went and got a job etc was happy, when I finally returned to education I graduated with a first class honours in a much better subject than I would of considered at 18.

DHs DB also tanked his, did a apprenticeship as an electrician and now makes loads with his own business.

I think its a lot to expect of 18 year olds, some people need the chance to grow up and work out what they want.

he can always do an access course in a few years or look at more practical options.

Great stories, thank you.

Albus - go your boy!!!

I'm really interested in Apprenticeships but haven't got a clue how they work. I need to start finding out.

Sorry Albus - go your DP!

Another one here
My DM died during my first set of A levels so I didn't get the grades I needed. I sat different subjects in the local technical college and got the grades I needed to get into a good University to read Law.

I am now a lawyer in financial services on a 6 figure salary.

It felt like the end of the world at the time but it really wasn't. Keep supporting him now so he can give it his best shot and then work out your options from there.

Clearing?
Break from studying - this worked for a friend of mine who took a year out working before doing additional A levels - she now has a PhD and is an academic.
Apprenticeship?

me. CCE. took unusual route into highly competitive professional degree course (which usually needs 3As)without resitting and have made it to the top of my field earning almost 6 figure salary. A levels are not the end of the world, but they are the worst exams I have ever sat.

Margo, this is a good place to start with apprenticeships:

www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeshipsearch

I think that AS/year 12 provides a really key grounding for A2, particularly in science subjects. If he didn’t pull his weight last year it could explain why he is struggling even more this year as he hasn’t got to grips with the basics. It’s not the end of the world. He can take some time out, or go through clearing and take a different course. That’s what I did!

I bombed mine, was at top grammar school came away with a C and an E. Managed a uni place through clearing and had a conversion and worked hard during my degree and came out with 2:1.
Worked in the city for a bit then decided to do a PGCE and have really found my vocation in teaching.
I am honest with the kids about what I went through and have managed to boost some of them up over the years. It is possible and there are ways to get ahead if it doesn't go the way it needs to.
Try and be open to different possibilities and it may not be the path you expect, but stay calm.
Btw this was 20 years ago, I am happily married, 2 dc's and am a head of dept. If my teachers saw me now they would be astonished!

There's a big jump between GCSEs and A level and I wonder if his great results at GCSE mean he didn't try very hard at first because he thought he was amazing.

He's practically an adult now but might need your guidance to speak to his teachers and ask whether his goal is realistic or not, but leave him to do these things. An extra year of 6th form might be enough, orhe might need a different direction