Feeling a Little bit left out

[Italwaysworksitselfout]

Mil has just said to me about BIL and STBSIL's wedding..... "the family/wedding party photos are to be taken at such a time... as you are in neither category then there is a list of photos that you can chose from to have some photos done" I'm actually quite upset as I thought I was part of the family having been married to DH 12 years and having 2 dds .... Apparently not 🤔

@Italwaysworksitselfout definitely our wedding was 4 years ago...brother and sil are on a trial separation at mo if they split as far as I'm concerned she is still family (she is mother to my 2 nephews and 1 Neice been together 17 years and wouldn't have dreamed of not having her in the pics) and the pic that is up on our living room wall...which is me and DH with all my brothers and sisters families and DH cousins and their families (his cousins are brothers and sisters to him) I just find it strange when people put people into categories. I hope your SIL realises how it's coming across and her actions are rather thoughtless. She must realise that the wedding is only for a day but you will be 'family' after so it's going to be awkward!

YANBU. Extremely hurtful behaviour. I hope you are feeling okay. Something very similar happened to me, except I only found out at the wedding. I basically got through the day but I still get upset thinking about it years later.

So it's your SIL leaving you out, not MIL. Your OP made it sound as if this was MIL's doing.

As it's SIL, then just take a mental note and file this away. You now know what she think she of you and you behave accordingly. I'd be polite but keep her at a distance.

Ok, OP, what did you start the thread about?

I feel like you won’t answer me directly, possibly because you think I’m being a smart arse, but I genuinely don’t understand the problem!!!

Are you hurt because you won’t be in the wedding party photos, but you’re not in the wedding party?

I think your MiL is stirring.

madmags I'm being overly sensitive I know. I am just hurt that I and especially my dds are not being classed as family. I just thought we were closer than that as my dh's family is very small. Just parents, him and db. Thanks for the replies and I'm going to reflect a bit on why I'm so upset about it

Neither of my two BILs are with the partners they were with when DH and I got married, but we had photos done JUST with his parents and siblings, and then some done where the siblings partners were included too.

I understand that the Bride & Groom may only want a set of photos in their album with siblings but I think they are forgetting that family members usually like to buy sets of photos from the many hundreds taken too!!

Perhaps you can ask the bride and groom if they’d take a family picture? They might not have thought of it if they’re only thinking about wedding party photos?

personally id say sod it and not go

When I was a teen my mum had a professional picture taken of our family. So that included parents, siblings and then their partners.
My siblings broke up with partners in picture a few years later and my mum took that photo down and it's been in the loft ever since
She didn't really think it through.