AIBU bloody “dog people”

[mumof2exhausted]

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

This is why at picnics I have chocolate & I give it to the dogs!... then I inform the owner when their lovely pet who just trampled myself, DH & the children minding our business that the dog just ate chocolate. Good luck.

I've also had to kick a dog bounding over as I didn't know his intentions & he was coming towards my then one-year-old DD at lightning speed. apparently, he would have ran over/around her as he was only "chasing the ducks". This was a family park with clear signs about keeping dogs on leads displayed everywhere!

I like responsible dog owners. The over-entitled ones need some training themselves. Like at the weekend I went for a walk... not in the woods etc but on the main road (high street). elderly couple with two massive dogs out for a walk... It was clear the wife could not control her dog he was literally dragging her all over the pavement... on us passing each other I had to step out onto the road as the dog was pulling the woman and trying to jump up at me... I am afraid of dogs! she didn't even apologize! If you cannot manage such big dogs why did you get them?!

Also when we first moved to Glasgow... DH and I came back to the flat we were staying in and saw two pit bulls outside. DH gets out and the dogs come bounding over... DH stops and the shitty owner says "don't fan them off or they will attack" all while standing a good distance away and never once coming to get them or calling them back! I had to sit with the two children in the car while his dogs went to have a shit and piss that he didn't even bother to clean up. I'm certain if DH wasn't there and I was driving I would have been attacked...because my natural reaction to dogs running over to me to raise my arms! I did report him though, although I have no idea what happened.

I don't allow my children to run up to strangers or dogs. Think of a dog as an adult human... how would you feel if he/she ran over to you a stranger and started jumping on you or ran over and trampled you or ate your food. Pretty sure it wouldn't be so cute.

Also dogs in restaurants! ugh! guide dog, perfect. A big old wet muddy dog walking in and deciding to have a good shake of his fur... never OK! The dog even stole food passing someone's table... the owner never even apologized! When they were asked to leave she got all in a huff and didn't see the problem...

You kicked a dog??!! @Beansonapost

And tries to poison them with chocolate.

That's a good way to get yourself knocked out. Hopefully.

Beans, you do know that deliberately poisoning an animal, according to the Animal Welfare Act, can get you a fine and 6 months in prison. You sound like a charmer.

You feed dogs chocolate even though presumably you know it’s poisonous for them?

What a delight you are.

What an utterly vile thread. Why is this conversation still going on with posters regurgitating the same views? We get it. We all agree that allowing your dog to approach others without checking first is bad manners.

I'm so sick of seeing posts which do nothing to correct the behaviour of the few irresponsible dog owners out there and do everything to encourage bad feeling and negativity against the dogs themselves and the many, many, perfectly responsible dog owners out there. Demonising an entire species and their owners for the poor behaviour of a select few is an incredibly dangerous thing to do.

I'm actually also really disappointed in the number of perfectly good dog owners on here who clearly feel pressured into rushing to reassure the entire -internet- world that they would never dream of letting their dog display poor manners or approach someone unwelcomed. Of course you wouldn't, the vast majority of wonderful dog owners wouldn't, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Stop grovelling when you and your dogs have done nothing wrong. Everyone is so eager to come across as reasonable and objective on the subject that they're afraid to say that actually they might not appreciate the tone of posts like these!

I for one adore my dog and am extremely proud to have a happy, gentle dog who loves people. He's never out of control or badly behaved but I'm not going to sit here and coo with sympathy at the disproportionate amount of venom being spouted by a few people who have had the odd picnic -briefly disrupted- "ruined" by an over exuberant dog or had their child receive a quick lick on the hand from a dog whilst waiting at the traffic lights. Of course it's not ideal and should be avoided, but do stop wringing your hands.

And for the poster who poisons dogs with toxic chocolate and kicks them when they run over to say hello, you deserve to be prosecuted. What a disgusting reaction.

*the poor behaviour of a select few
*
But it's not just a select few! We encounter out of control dogs off their leads ALL THE TIME. Pretty much every time we go out. Perhaps when you have a child who is scared of dogs you realise just how widespread the poor behaviour is.

As for this

or had their child receive a quick lick on the hand from a dog whilst waiting at the traffic lights. Of course it's not ideal and should be avoided, but do stop wringing your hands.

How dare you minimise a child being licked uninvited by a dog and talk about hand wringing. How dare you. It's that kind of incident that can provoke a fear in a child and end up affecting the whole family's life.

ALL THE TIME.

And please do not ask a scared child to pet your dog. This child has in fact met a dog before. You are not the magical cure. Why does everyone think their dog is different. Just please keep moving. Do not stop and prolong the agony by resssurring a small child that your dog is nice. Why do people feel the need to do this when a child is clearly traumatized.

I love dogs by the way. But I wouldn’t want a strange man licking me. Why should a child accept a creature they hate licking them.

Yep I agree, I wish people would keep moving rather than prolonging the agony for DD by stopping and telling her their dog is friendly, just wants to play etc.

We don't care. We don't want to stop and get to know your dog. She is frightened. We just want to get away from it. You are a stranger, your dog is a stranger and you are not going to cure her fear.

And please do not ask a scared child to pet your dog. This child has in fact met a dog before. You are not the magical cure. Why does everyone think their dog is different. Just please keep moving. Do not stop and prolong the agony by resssurring a small child that your dog is nice. Why do people feel the need to do this when a child is clearly traumatized

Because sometimes a good, calm animal can help? And i don’t think i’ve ever come across a “clearly traumatised” child. Nervous, apprehensive, scared even.

When my child was 3 they had a birthday party. Invited a few nursery chums. We have a big, loud, but stupid cat who takes any amount of poking and prodding. One of the parents informed us that their child was “terrified” of cats, and could we just watch out.

Of course we supervised, and made sure the cat was separated. Long story short, parents came back two hours later to find their kid wandering round with a massive cat slung over his shoulder.

I see no harm in offering a nervous child a stroke of my very gentle dog if it might help ease their fears. A simple no is fine if your child doesn’t want to.

Literally every dog owner thinks their dog is the magical cure. They are not. They are making a child feel scared. If it’s more important to you that everyone likes your dog than the feelings of a small child, you are part of the problem.

Why so aggressive?

If a child is scared, i will pick my dog up so he is secured and away from the child.

I usually then try and reassure that the dog is away from them, and add that if they want to, they can come closer and look, if they want to

If not, no big deal and we move on.

How is that “part of the problem”?

I don’t think he’s a magical cure, i don’t care if you like my dog or not, it is simply an offer that may help the child not be so scared.

But in the presence of a clearly frightened child why would you even still be stood there, engaging with us, offering them to get closer to what they're scared of? Why can't you just move on and let us do the same?

I always try to think that people mean well doing this, but really there is an arrogance in thinking that your dog can be the solution.

As I've said I do try to engineer opportunities for DD to spend time around gentle dogs but this is on my terms. It's not going to be with strangers, suddenly forced upon her out of the blue. It's with people we know, on our own territory, and DD is prepared beforehand that she will be near a dog.

I don't know why people can't understand this.

Keep your children away from my dog. Too many people come up to her, they aren't taught to ask first and she is not stranger friendly.
There is two sides to everything.
This post is fucking boring now.

Because “in the presence of a clearly frightened child” the best thing is to secure the dog, and both of us stay still allowing the child to pass or move away?

Because a reassuring voice will calm the dog, the child and the parent?

Because i’m not rude and don’t want to ignore the child and their fears? Because it’s manners to say something rather than blank someone walking past me?

What else should i do? Keep on walking past the child clearly scared a dog is coming closer?

I can’t disappear. I can’t turn round and walk in a direction i don’t want to go, plus the child will then be walking behind the dog, is that any better?

Just where am i supposed to go? Are dog owners not allowed to even speak in the prescence of a child? I don’t expect you to take me up on my offer, but it’s politely made, and well meant.

If, as my child's own mother, my own reassuring voice isn't calming them then why on earth would you think that yours as a stranger would?

Please don't worry about appearing rude. What we want (assuming that your dog is under control and doesn't need to be recalled) is for you to ignore the situation. Just keep on walking. If we're passing you then we get past the dog quicker. If we're going in the same direction then that's my call - what I usually do is stop with DD for a bit to put some distance between us and the dog. Seriously the last thing we want is for you to try and engage us in conversation about how friendly the dog is.

aaronburr where do you live that you see so many out of control dogs? Genuinely curious. You seem to have a lot!

Totally with you OP. YANBU

Massive generalisation maybe, but I've found that a person's level of common sense is inversely proportional to the size of the dog they have.

NotasingleFucktoGive .... Not the case but I have to say the worst dog and owner I have experienced was with this huge puppy. Can’t remember the name of the breed but he was huge and she hadn’t trained him. He would bound towards DC, he would leave slobber in DC buggies and eat people’s picnics. With her running behind laughing and saying he is just a puppy. This dog was massive and she was an upper middle class loon who took offence if anyone told her off and thought everyone else was being unreasonable. I did find her funny though as a person as she was so mad! And in answer to someone else I live in London and our local park is a nightmare with dogs off lead in areas where they should be on lead. It’s got so bad now that the park warden comes round and can fine dog owners who don’t follow the rules and there is a fine. I am a dog owner and I am very happy with that, now it’s time to tackle the bloody runners who get annoyed when we are walking our dog in the dog walking area!

I should add the dogs that are off lead where they shouldn’t be are by the picnic areas, cafe and kids playground. So yes you get picnic grabbers, dc getting pawed and sniffed at and jumped on. This is a park with designated off lead areas but are ignored.

All this "hand-wringing" over one dog that got kicked - who are you feeding your dog? Far worse happens to the chickens and pigs that have ended up as dog food. Why is that not a crime? Why do you not care about that? Instead, you are contributing to much more animal cruelty.

Cote, you are exactly the kind of dog-owner I cannot abide. You do not get it. I am REVOLTED by the idea of my child being licked by a dog. I hear on here loads about how someone's dog ate shit, ate vomit, ate more shit, licked its arse - and you expect me to be ok about that same mouth on my child. Just because your hygiene standards are non-existent, doesn't mean the rest of us don't find that utterly repulsive.
You think it's ok that your dog wades through someone's picnic? Says it all, really.

In my experience, most dog-owners are arrogant, ignorant, clueless and selfish. You cannot fathom that many people don't like your dog, don't want to get to like your dog, . Or any dog. And too many shits on the pavements, paths and parks for it to be a small minority not picking up.
And Cote's response backs that up.

"In my experience, most dog-owners are arrogant, ignorant, clueless and selfish. "

I cannot speak for where you live but my experience is different.
I really should not have bothered replying should I