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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
aaronburr · 11/06/2018 23:41

If a dog is off lead and bounding over to all and sundry they should be on a lead in public places. What don't you understand?

Exactly! They should be on a lead but quite often they're not. Yet you have said that if a child is scared of dogs people can choose not to frequent places where dogs are allowed off lead, which is literally anywhere public. Where out of control dogs are off lead.

What don't you understand?

TomaytoTomarto · 11/06/2018 23:42

I have never seen a dog with immediate recall. They may eventually obey, but not before they have sniffed all up my legs and hassled my kids. And then I usually get the owner telling me the dog won't bite and my kids need to calm down. It is SO frequent. I don't think dog people like to believe us. They simply can't fathom why some rank creature's slobber is not appreciated.

Slanetylor · 11/06/2018 23:43

It is SO frequent!! This is the exact problem.

IslaBoots · 11/06/2018 23:47

Tomayto. You have it in one. You don't like dogs.....As far as I'm concerned that's absolutely fine. I don't for a minute think everyone will love my dog. That's why I allow her off lead in places where she is allowed off lead. I know she won't run up to people. In public places she is kept on lead. Not because she needs to be on lead but because people expect her to be kept on lead.

I have spent so many hours training my dog not to approach members of the public or other dogs. But from the many posts on here I wonder if it's worth my time and energy.

It seems all dog owners gets lumped together as 'irresponsible shits' no matter what we do... There you go.

Dogs are here to stay. Maybe it's time the dog haters realised the world doesn't revolve around them

aaronburr · 11/06/2018 23:48

Yep I agree it is so frequent. If we can get through a day out without there being some kind of incident with a dog bothering and scaring DD then it sticks out as being unusual tbh.

IslaBoots · 11/06/2018 23:51

I have never seen a dog with immediate recall.

I live in a dog orientated world. I walk with lots of different dog owners. I know many dogs with instant recall.

You are obviously a dog hater so choose to not be around dogs. I'm not surprised you don't know any dogs with instant recall. Why would you??

aaronburr · 11/06/2018 23:54

Maybe it's time the dog haters realised the world doesn't revolve around them

This has to be the most inane thing I have ever read on MN.

Slanetylor · 11/06/2018 23:54

I will tell my 6 year old the world does not revolve around her. That dogs can jump on her as they please and if she’s frightened of getting knocked over and bitten again to grow up and deal with it. That is life.

IslaBoots · 12/06/2018 00:01

Arronburr... Here's a reminder of the full post. If you have to quote posters the full post will be required - not just the bit that suits your agenda.

". You have it in one. You don't like dogs.....As far as I'm concerned that's absolutely fine. I don't for a minute think everyone will love my dog. That's why I allow her off lead in places where she is allowed off lead. I know she won't run up to people. In public places she is kept on lead. Not because she needs to be on lead but because people expect her to be kept on lead.

I have spent so many hours training my dog not to approach members of the public or other dogs. But from the many posts on here I wonder if it's worth my time and energy.

It seems all dog owners gets lumped together as 'irresponsible shits' no matter what we do... There you go.

Dogs are here to stay. Maybe it's time the dog haters realised the world doesn't revolve around them"

TomaytoTomarto · 12/06/2018 00:03

I don't choose to relate to dogs, but they are in my face regardless - unless I stay home (dog-free bliss). I actually said I have never seen a dog with immediate recall - going solely on all my many experiences of being out in the street or a park, and dogs bounding over and pawing me or trying to lick my kids - dog owner finally gets the dog back - within a minute - but this to me is NOT immediate recall and I have already been contaminated with dog slobber (containing shit and vomit, no doubt) and my kids are crying and stressed. But I expect the dog owner doesn't see the harm, and to them, it's immediate recall. Also when this happens, the dog owner is so far behind their dog they can't SEE the dog nipping at our heels and slobbering on us. The occasions I do bother saying to the dog owner that they need to keep their dog on a leash I am met with a barrage of abuse and/or ridicule, that it's only a bit of dog saliva/dog didn't bite you/dog is only being friendly. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

aaronburr · 12/06/2018 00:05

Thanks Isla. Just as inane the second time.

smallchanceofrain · 12/06/2018 00:05

To reassure the two people who were concerned about my dog being in a classroom, please don't worry - we're not just let loose in a classroom. We're part of a special project for children with specific difficulties. We work 1:1 in a space away from the classroom. The children and parents have to give consent for us to work with them. I have an enhanced disclosure DBS certificate, my houndy assistant had to be assessed by a behaviourist & we are supervised. Smile

angryburd · 12/06/2018 00:11

@rain You're wasting your breath. It doesn't matter that you and your dog go out of your way to help these children, it's still a filthy disease ridden shit bag that will maul every single one of those children in a heartbeat.

"I have already been contaminated with dog slobber (containing shit and vomit, no doubt)" 😂😂😂 calm down!

BasiliskStare · 12/06/2018 00:20

This is how it works it seems to me - there are responsible dog owners who try to keep their dogs away from other people and children & dogs they think the dogs will not like. There are also those who don't behave responsibly with dogs ( a child with a stick trying to poke it into my dog's eyes whilst he was sitting on a lead under my chair in an outdoor cafe) & despite asking , mum was more interested in her phone than asking her child to behave responsibly. Irresponsible dog owners - not good. No debate there.

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 12/06/2018 02:33

Take photos every time, threaten to report to the dog warden, call them names, call them irresponsible, throw water at the dog.

Don't threaten, just report.

Please can someone tell me the best way of getting a dog to leave you alone when they come bounding up/ sniffing around you?

A big squirt of watered down rotten eggs or stale piss from a bottle?.

whatamigoingtodo87 · 12/06/2018 03:31

I have two dogs, and would be mortified to think either had scared a child. However, one dog is calm and placid the other not so much and extremely excitable. I never let them off unless in an enclosed field with no other dogs or children around, if I spot a child they go straight on the lead. If I spot another dog, I put them on the lead as I don't know what the other dogs recall or behaviour is like.

I had one guy and his child wonder up recently and immediately starting petting my Dachshund - fine as he is a lazy bum and very calm, the most he would do is fall asleep. My JRT on the other hand is excitable, so I immediately picked her up as I know she is known to JUMP. The JRT is a rescue and is on a lifelong training plan!!! So I know it works both ways as I do hate it when parents just let their children wonder up to my dogs and pet them. They are on the whole well behaved but at the end of they day they are dogs!

I hope that makes me a responsible owner.

ScaredPAD · 12/06/2018 03:58

Does it wanting strange dogs bouncing up to you and your children whole you're out / dogs coming through a picnic make you a dog hater then?

I've posted on this thread earlier as it is a real frustration of mine when dog owners seem oblivious to their dogs bouncing through picnics/sandcastles or bounding over to you. I think when dogs are out walki ng and bound over to other dogs and they play it can be lovely but some dog owners don't realise that many people don't want dogs bouncing over to then and sniffing them etc. I hate the "it's okay it's friendly. No it's not okay I don't want random dogs coming up to me or my children when I'm out walking.

I do think it makes me a dog hater. I quite like my friends dogs (apart from the licky snobbery one!) And will happily go for a dog walk with them!

Is it a case that some dog owners are a bit entitled and assume everyone should accept dogs bounding up to them and if they don't like it they're dog haters then?

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 12/06/2018 05:06

Surely there should be a balance? I'm always bemused by dog owners who think dogs shouldn't approach other dogs etc. Fine if specific dogs have issues, however, in general dogs are social creatures, like to meet other dogs and play with them! Sure you can train them out of it, just like you can a child, doesn't mean it's right or healthy for the dog, like it wouldn't be for a child, just convenient for you and others who think like you.

Obviously they do need to be well trained though.

My dog walks off lead. She approached other dogs and sometimes people. She doesn't run up and bounce, she trots along wagging her tail and looking back at me to check. This is how she makes doggy friends to play with.

With people she approached it's never head on, it's a casual trot in their direction and he doesn't actually go to them unless they respond to her being so near them. Aside from the odd occasion, often with little kids, when she'll just gently place her ball near their feet and wait to see if they'll play with her!!!

Nobody has ever complained about her approaching, everyone seems to love the deftly friendly doughnut. So to me it's balance. Just look at the owner of you see a dog coming, I always look at owners and non dog owners, looking from my dog to them so they know I'm in control. That may make you feel a bit more comfortable or give an owner a sign that you are not comfortable! Don't wait until the dog approaches to signal is some way!!

BTW my dog has excellent recall and won't move out of my view anyway, dog approaching doesn't mean there is no recall.

ScaredPAD · 12/06/2018 07:56

No I shouldn't have to keep a look out for dog owners to tell them to call dogs off my children! They should be responsible!

Aside from that you do sound a responsible owner with a lovely dog and excellent recall. If only more were!

(And I so messed up some "nots" in the previous post.)

Micah · 12/06/2018 08:03

Triptrap- my dog doesn’t bound either.

If he sees a group of people, he plays the long game. He slowly circles, belly to the ground, getting gradually closer, until he’s spotted. If the correct response is heard “oh look at the cute little doggie” or similar, he immediately rolls over on his back and waits to be approached.

He only ever does this with stationary people, never running children. If he doesn’t get noticed, or is ignored, he slopes back off again.

itstimeforanamechange · 12/06/2018 08:11

If this was about any other group than dogs and dog owners it would be recognised as ludicrous hate speech and deleted

Oh for goodness sake. All anyone is asking for is that some dog owners remember that not everyone likes dogs and for some consideration in keeping their dogs away from them. Yes the big C word: Consideration which seems to be in short supply in some quarters (not just some dog owners).

Wolfiefan · 12/06/2018 08:57

No itstime
Many dog owners have come on and said that anybody who doesn't keep their dog under control is completely unreasonable. That nobody should be leapt on by a dog in public or be slobbered on or have food stolen. That nobody should have a dog if they CBA to pick up dog poo. Every time.
But we are still shits. All of us. Nice.

aaronburr · 12/06/2018 09:00

everyone seems to love the deftly friendly doughnut

This is the problem. A lot of dog owners literally cannot wrap their head around the fact that not everybody loves their dog and therefore become affronted when challenged.

What you probably have is a lot of people who don't love your dog approaching but don't want a confrontation.

And your dog shouldn't be off lead approaching people uninvited full stop. The fact that you have recall would be little comfort to my DD if she were terrified seeing your "friendly doughnut" off its lead and coming in her direction.

aaronburr · 12/06/2018 09:04

But we are still shits. All of us. Nice.

Once again I never said all dog owners are shits.

But even if I were to say that. Dog owners are not a protected group and it is not hate speech to feel frustrated at their selfishness.

Hermitsunited · 12/06/2018 09:09

I have a large, very fluffy and very friendly dog who loves children. Would I expect children and people to always love her back? Absolutely not! How stupid are people if they let their dogs chase children, mine frequently howls as a hello and I apologise and explain, or she tries to look in prams because again she loves children but I don't let her. I always ask when a child looks nervous if they would like to stroke her to show she's not aggressive or jumpy but I would never let her just go up to people. It only takes one wrong reaction for everything to go terrible wrong and someone get hurt and my dog put down. Dogs are animals, as lovely as they might be and will always follow instinct if they have to.