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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
Thesearepearls · 05/06/2018 22:31

Are you taking the piss?

Er no. What's your problem? You don't like puppies, dogs or children? If you can offer me an example of a child not liking a puppy I'd believe you but I've never seen a child not love a puppy or a kitten or a foal.

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:34

Well I can assure you that my DD does not like puppies. She is frightened of all dogs.

My problem is people like you. You are completely unwilling to accept that not everybody loves dogs. Why is so hard for you to understand?

Thesearepearls · 05/06/2018 22:45

If your DD is phobic then there is a way to teach her that this is an irrational thing and teach her to come to terms with it

Ranting at dog owners for the simple pleasure of having a dog is like Canute - it simply won't work.

What steps are you taking to get your DD to come to terms with her phobia?

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 23:06

I don't rant at dog owners for the simple pleasure of having a dog. I do however calmly engage with people whose dogs are off leads, not to heel and coming up to a child who is clearly frightened.

As I've said though I don't think her phobia is irrational. When she gets frightened of a small dog on a lead and clearly under control - yes, that's irrational and I just try to reassure her that the dog isn't interested in her. However when a large animal comes up to her uninvited I can understand her fear.

As for what steps I'm taking...we do have contact with friends with dogs that I know and trust. She warms up after a while and has even been able to walk one herself. Unfortunately it all goes out of the window the next time we're out and it's yet another dog not under control.

Wolfiefan · 05/06/2018 23:20

Phobias are actually irrational. That's what makes them so hard to get over.
Forcing a child to confront what they're scared of won't "cure" them. Ffs bus stop lady! If the owner had seen a child was scared of dogs. Made her dog stop, turn and walk away that would be much more helpful. Wouldn't overwhelm the child and help to reinforce the phobia. Instead showing how under control and calm a dog can be.

Forfolkssake · 05/06/2018 23:24

I absolutely agree. Imagine an animal twice the size of you jumping up at you! How terrifying. "Don't worry, he won't hurt you"! STFU.
Also, do I want dog slobber and muddy footprints on my clothes? No. That's why I'm not with a dog! Ffs.

Ruffian · 05/06/2018 23:30

I am with a dog but I also don't want dog slobber and muddy footprints. Irresponsible dog owners are just as big a pita to other dog owners

Mymycherrypie · 05/06/2018 23:31

This sums up how I feel about dogs not on leads;

If your dog bites me, or my kid, I’m going to be biting you. Control your fucking animal or I’ll put it in a bin (where all the shit that comes out of it is supposed to go, but people don’t actually bother to pick up their dog feces anymore it seems)

IslaBoots · 05/06/2018 23:42

I am with a dog but I also don't want dog slobber and muddy footprints. Irresponsible dog owners are just as big a pita to other dog owners

Agreed

people don’t actually bother to pick up their dog feces anymore it seems

SOME people don't. Please don't tar all dog owners with the same brush. If I see a dog owner not picking up it's dog shit I run after him/her yelling, " Did you forget your poo bag? Here have this". And I give him or her a poo bag and watch whilst it's picked up and binned.

rosylea · 05/06/2018 23:45

I've had a fear of cats since I was a child. For some reason people seem able to accept this, but unable to accept childrens/people fear of dogs? A child doesn't have to like puppies or dogs.

rosylea · 05/06/2018 23:53

Dog owners always think they have a duty to allay the fears of children by taking their dogs right up to them to introduce. Mind your own business and clear off with your dogs!!

Forfolkssake · 05/06/2018 23:56

ginplease8383 That's really really sad and shocking. 😔😠

Ohmydayslove · 05/06/2018 23:57

My dog is never off lead in public and we clean up her poop and then use a water bottle to wash down if a runny one. Wink

I don’t think any dog should be off lead in public. She has our enclosed garden to roam in.

The opposite neighbour has s big lolloping dog who frequently gets out and runs around our front lawn. Yesterday it was out and when he puts his paws up me he’s bigger than me. I know he’s friendly but he’s so strong and boisterous I am quite frankly terrified. Dh took him home,, again,,, he will get run over eventually.

Makes me very nervous and I love dogs but not running up to me off lead.

I don’t need to get over anything. Neither does a child afraid of dogs because dogs shouldn’t be roaming free.

siwel123 · 06/06/2018 00:00

I agree with the point about spiders or snakes etc.some People wouldn't like it if they came and jumped and touched you so why should some like dogs doing it.

The person saying conquer your fears, how would you like if say you were walking along in a public place, I grabbed you strapped you to a skydive instructor, chucked you out a plane and shouted conquer your fears.

People are scared of dogs. And scared of puppies. So what gives you the right to make their situation worse. You have every right to walk your dog in public. But you don't have a right to cause nuisance and panic to others when doing so.

Wolfiefan · 06/06/2018 00:03

Ohmy a dog under control can of course be off lead in public. It wouldn't approach strangers.

Mymycherrypie · 06/06/2018 00:03

Please don't tar all dog owners with the same brush.

It’s difficult to judge who is a good guy when all I see is mounds and mounds of excrement outside my kids school, my house and the “no dogs” parK Sad

Mymycherrypie · 06/06/2018 00:06

It wouldn't approach strangers.

Yes because obviously we can understand a dogs motives and rationale. Hmm

You can only hope it wont approach strangers. You can’t guarantee it.

Ohmydayslove · 06/06/2018 00:15

wolfiefan

Honestly I think about 1% of dog owners truly can control their dogs.

So so many rush to jump up me or bound over to frighten my dog on her lead while the owners look on fondly saying ‘she won’t hurt you’

BookAtBedtime · 06/06/2018 00:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosylea · 06/06/2018 00:20

I don't think any dogs should be off lead in public. They're animal after all, therefore unpredictable.

IslaBoots · 06/06/2018 00:30

It’s difficult to judge who is a good guy when all I see is mounds and mounds of excrement outside my kids school, my house and the “no dogs” parK

Yes I see your point. I pick up at least 2 carrier bags full of humans rubbish every week when I walk my dog on the beach during the summer months.

Maybe every human is a dirty, disgraceful skank?

IslaBoots · 06/06/2018 00:38

Dog owners always think they have a duty to allay the fears of children by taking their dogs right up to them to introduce. Mind your own business and clear off with your dogs!!

Again - No. Responsible dog owners would rather keep well away from a distressed child. They wouldn't want to put their dog or the child in a, seemingly, threatening position.

Blame the irresponsible dog owners. Not all dog owners are irresponsible!

KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 06/06/2018 01:00

It's an almost daily occurrence that people think it's perfectly ok to come up and touch Ruby when I'm in shops/walking along a street or on public transport without asking me. I really do understand it's surprising for children to see a dog in shops/restaurants and on trains/planes.

There is a real lack of social awareness about two things:

1: That a service dog in a vest is "on the clock," and not to be approached.

2: That you should always ask before approaching dogs, because just like people, their personalities and reactions vary wildly.

crazycatgal · 06/06/2018 01:16

I actually find it very rare that a person asks before stroking a dog.

I'm often out walking and people will just grab the dog or stand and watch whilst their child does so, but it will be the dog who is blamed if they end up snapping at strangers grabbing them with no warning.

MrsDilber · 06/06/2018 01:56

Yanbu.

I saw a dog bite a lip off someone once.