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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
madmomma · 05/06/2018 19:30

Yanbu OP. Way too many dickhead dog owners around who think dogs have equal rights to toddlers Angry

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 19:45

DD is terrified of dogs.

We have had a few altercations with people whose dogs are off leads and not under control. I don't mean that they are jumping up at DD but they're not to heel and coming up sniffing at us which terrifies her.

I've been told that DD needs to face her fears...We've had owners rolling their eyes at her (she's 7 ffs)...I've been told on more than one occasion that their dog is better controlled off a lead than on (surely this just means they haven't been trained properly?)

Only 2 lovely owners spring to mind...the lady who was approaching with her dog, could see that DD was scared, and picked the dog up as she walked past; and a man recently who we got chatting to as we were on a passenger boat who said he would move and asked if DD had had a bad experience with a dog in the past.

The rest I'm sorry to say either fall into the category of the irritating "she's friendly" camp or have been utter twats.

Sneezeandooops · 05/06/2018 20:02

I agree with you completely. I like dogs when on leads. my daughter is terrified of them and the amount of owners that say oh rover would never bite or hurt you.... I don't care keep it away from us. A few times I have asked if they would swear that in court that they could garenttee the dog would not hurt her, response is nearly alway oh well that's silly thing to say. Had a picnic recently and a dog came sniffing round, owner said oh he must want to join you all the while daughter is screaming, so waved it away and the owner actually said don't sit here and have a picnic if you don't like dogs, So apparently our local park is now only for dogs

RhapsodyQueen · 05/06/2018 21:41

There just is no telling dog people.

Thesearepearls · 05/06/2018 21:55

I have a fear of heights. I really really don't like heights. I drive around 25000 miles a year but get me in a multi storey car park and my heart is in my mouth. Full of irrational fear about sliding back and causing a crash. Roads along precipices in France and Italy scare me to death. I inch round like a very very scared person.

Thing is with irrational fears. You either look them in the face and say I know I am being irrational and this thing scares me beyond anything but Im still going to do it because I know I am being irrational. Or you give in and never go into multi storey car parks or drive precipitous roads.

People who are afraid of dogs are irrational. You might have had a bad experience but still - you can either cover your DCs with cotton wool or you can help them to face their demons. WWYD?

Tara336 · 05/06/2018 22:01

We have a woman who is a complete pita with her dog. It’s a GSD and every time we see her it runs it front of me and my dogs and blocks our path. It’s not nasty it’s trying to dominate or get them to play but you can’t walk forward as it stands I need front of you. She knows it’s being annoying but never apologises or makes an effort to stop him doing it. I’ve said more then once I’ll wait here and let you go past when he’s done it to us, she looks at me like I’m mad but all I want to do is go for a walk and not have her hulking great dog tripping me up

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:06

People who are afraid of dogs are irrational. You might have had a bad experience but still - you can either cover your DCs with cotton wool or you can help them to face their demons.

No, people who are afraid of spiders or mice are irrational. Dogs have large jaws, sharp teeth and can be unpredictable. Why is it irrational to be scared of something which could genuinely pose a threat?

derxa · 05/06/2018 22:08

People who are afraid of dogs are irrational. Rubbish. They're wolves in disguise.

crazycatgal · 05/06/2018 22:09

@Snowflakeslayer 90% of dogs are likely to bite? Ok then. Hmm

Wendycastle · 05/06/2018 22:09

I love dogs, I've had various ones over my life. I loathe many dog owners for this reason - they do it to other dogs too "oh he's so friendly, he loves to play" or the increasingly common "socialisation is so important, you'll make your dog nervous". Allowing your untrained bully of a labrador to bounce repeatedly on my dogs head is not socialisation Angry
My DS is not scared of dogs at all but he is rather scathing in his tender years of owners that allow their dogs to run amok - I don't know where he gets it from Hmm

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:11

As for helping children to face their fears - we do try and do that with DD.

But we do it with dogs that we know and trust, in a familiar setting. I don't see why she should be randomly forced to face her fears with an unknown animal in public.

Wendycastle · 05/06/2018 22:13

DH also made a wonderful point a few years ago - he loves dogs but is phobic of spiders and said just imagine if spiders were common pets and the size of dogs - from chihuahuas to Great Danes.
I'd like to see how some of these dog owners would react as a huge hairy tarantula came barrelling towards them, leaping at their face, their fangs clicking and dribbling whilst the owner strolls up chuckling "oh he only wants to play..."

Wolfiefan · 05/06/2018 22:14

aaron she shouldn't.
Extreme fear of dogs is irrational. It doesn't make it less scary or unreal. Phobias are terrifying. They can't be put right by sudden immersion in the thing that petrifies you.
derxa mine is a wolfhound. Bred to protect people and livestock from wolves. So no. Not a wolf in disguise. (She would be pretty rubbish at that job TBH as she is a complete baby!)

Thesearepearls · 05/06/2018 22:15

My fear of heights is irrational. I acknowledge that.

For sure the clutch could disengage and I could fall backwards. If I don't drive carefully around mountain roads i could drive us all off a cliff. So almost rational but not really. The giddy fear that I feel is not shared by most people. I feel sick whenever I have to look over a balcony to admire a view because all I can think about is maybe I will feel dizzy, maybe i actually do feel dizzy maybe I will fall over and who will look after the DC then?

It's all actually a mare's nest. Dogs have teeth but the vast majority especially off lead never ever would bite. So I say that if a child is scared of dogs get a puppy. They will naturally learn to love dogs and dogs are very loveable. Don't for goodness' sake turn shrill and hoist skirts - you're just making it worse.

Wolfiefan · 05/06/2018 22:15

Wendy my phobia was snakes. The idea of snakes on a leash well away from me I could just cope with.
The idea of snakes coming at me? Honestly terrifying.
Dog owners need to have control and understand other people don't want their dogs bouncing all over them or even invading their space.

Wolfiefan · 05/06/2018 22:16

X post.
Don't get a puppy. The buggers bite! and chase.
If a child is a bit nervous then encountering well behaved dogs under control can be a good thing. If they have a full blown phobia it's a really crap idea.

Wendycastle · 05/06/2018 22:18

Agree, get a calm older dog not a puppy!

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:21

Don't for goodness' sake turn shrill and hoist skirts - you're just making it worse

And there we have it. The exact same attitude I have encountered from people who refuse to put their dogs on a lead. It's MY fault that my DD is scared, not theirs for not keeping their animal under control.

Of course it wouldn't have occurred to you that getting a puppy isn't the answer because like so many owners, you literally cannot get your head around the fact that some people DONT LIKE DOGS.

Wendycastle · 05/06/2018 22:21

"@Snowflakeslayer 90% of dogs are likely to bite? Ok then. hmm"

100% of dogs can bite if they are pushed to it. However the vast vast majority choose not to. Don't underestimate even the softest dog, wrong situation /illness /combination of factors could mean they could bite. The fact that they do not is one of the most wonderful things about dogs - how forgiving they are.

Wendycastle · 05/06/2018 22:25

Wolfiefan - ahhh I love snakes so I would be excited Grin but I really appreciate how others may feel so ensure all my animals do not approach other people unless they invite it.
Except for the cats, can't do anything with those buggers Hmm

RollyMollyPolly · 05/06/2018 22:26

Yanbu. I wish dog owners are more responsible and considerate towards other human beings. Many a time I got jumped by unleashed dogs while walking or jogging in parks. One time a dog just ran towards me in a lightening speed and bit my ankle while the owner laughed at distance saying he likes meConfused Another time a lady owner barked at me all of a sudden because I was running to block her dog's walking path apparently Shock. I used own dogs and love them, but the presence of them makes me nervous these days as it's unpredictable as to what the dogs or their owners would do.

crunchymint · 05/06/2018 22:26

Yes most dogs will bite in self defence, as would most humans if being attacked. But that is very different from being aggressive.

Thesearepearls · 05/06/2018 22:26

There isn't a child in the world whose eyes wouldn't light up at the sight of a puppy. Weeing and pooing everywhere until they're house trained, taking it for walks, learning to love it, learning that they love you right back. It's a super experience and really good for DC as caring for all animals is good for DC.

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:27

Oh I forgot the time DD and I were sat at a bus stop and she became scared of a dog walking past.

Rather than the owner do the only sensible thing - ignore DD and keep on walking - he saw fit to come over, bringing the dog right up to her, and try and do the whole she won't hurt you spiel.

When I (calmly) told him I would deal with DD's fears in my own way, he got quite aggressive and asked if I was on my period.

It's only when you have a child with a phobia you realise what a lot of cunts there are out there.

aaronburr · 05/06/2018 22:27

There isn't a child in the world whose eyes wouldn't light up at the sight of a puppy.

Are you taking the piss?