To think that having kids over 60 is odd

[Ineedaginandtonic]

So this woman who I know through some friends is 64 and decided to have another child, she has 2 older children who are in their late twenties now..

Obviously wishing her the best with her pregnancy, I’m not interfering just generally thought that it is a bit unfair on the child how when they are 10 their mother is going to be 75 and at 30, she will be 95 years old..

Aibu or is it a bit unfair on the child?

The woman in question is going to be using donor eggs and has an excellent chance of pregnancy as a result

Not an excellent chance at all, and also a high chance of miscarriage.

Yanbu. It's wrong on many levels.

@MiggeldyHiggins a post menopausal woman having IVF with donor egg has a better chance of a live birth than a 42 yo woman TTC naturally

Did this story get discussed in Mumsnet?

news.sky.com/story/65-year-old-mother-of-13-having-quadruplets-10363800

65 year old mother of 13 pregnant with quads.

post menopausal woman having IVF with donor egg has a better chance of a live birth than a 42 yo woman TTC naturally

Do you have a source for that? I find it hard to believe of a 64 year old.

We have the menopause for a reason.

65 year old mother of 13 pregnant with quads

Obviously an incredibly fertile woman to begin with. Still amazing story though.

This thread is madness.

Her fertility is not really relevant given she was post menopausal and used donor eggs. The most shocking thing to me is that she did it because her youngest, then 9, wanted a younger brother or sister! What happens when one of the quads decides they want a younger sibling?

My bmi was high at 31 with my last pregnancy and I was classed as obese. I am a size 14 and do not really look big at all.
I'm not slim but I'm also not massive. I was never high risk, so of a course a woman who may be obese doesn't have higher risks than a 64 year old woman.

Do you have a source for that? I find it hard to believe of a 64 year old.

The data on over 50s is necessarily limited because most centres have a cut off of 50

But success rates are fundamentally linked to embryo aneuploidy

Eggs from a younger woman have a much lower likelihood of aneuploidy

By the age of 40, approx 10% of a woman's eggs will be chromosomally normal

In a woman in her 20s that's more like 60-70%.

You can see the vast difference in success rates from this national US data showing high success rates in women over 47 with donor eggs vs non donor eggs in much younger women

Likelihood of a live birth is determined primarily by the age of the egg, not the age of the womb

"Another point shown here is that there not a substantial decline in success by age of the recipient woman with donor egg IVF.

•	The age of the eggs is very important
•	The age of the uterus carrying the embryos is not important"

It’s a tricky one. I disagree with pps assuming that she shouldn’t on the grounds that she could die soon - by that logic anyone with chronic illnesses or disabilities shouldn’t be able to have children either. Plenty of people are brought up by grandparents and are just fine - people have disabled parents, single parents, gay parents etc so there isn’t just one way to be a family.

However, the physical strain on a woman’s body during pregnancy should be the biggest red flag. An older man doesn’t have to carry the child, the woman does which is why nature prevents older women from being fertile and not men. Nature knows what its doing and doesn’t really care whether we think that’s fair or not.

I disagree with pps assuming that she shouldn’t on the grounds that she could die soon - by that logic anyone with chronic illnesses or disabilities shouldn’t be able to have children either

Its not about whether they should be able to have children, if they can have them naturally. But would any clinic give IVF and donor eggs to someone with a chronic illness that gave them a much shortened life expectency? Or a terminal illness?

Women over 40 using donor eggs have a better rate of success than women under 40 who don’t. This is because in the UK most DE come from women under 30.

If this is true its pure stupidity.

It doesn’t sit right with me but I really struggle to articulate why...
And I say that as an ‘older’ ftm who is planning another baby. My DS (6mths) was born when I was 39 (I’m now 40). We’ll hopefully try for a sibling for him after Christmas but have agreed we’ll probably only try for a year as I wouldn’t like to be older than 41/42 due to the steep increase in risks.

Have you sold the story to the Mail yet?

Its not about whether they should be able to have children, if they can have them naturally. But would any clinic give IVF and donor eggs to someone with a chronic illness that gave them a much shortened life expectency? Or a terminal illness?

The NHS will freeze eggs for women undergoing chemotherapy that may render them infertile. They will have a higher risk of recurrence but the NHS will fund IVF for them

The NHS also offers IVF with PGD for couples carrying inherited genetic disorders. So one parent with CF or Huntingtons or BRCA - the aim of the PGD is to avoid the disease being passed on to a child. They don't refuse treatment on the basis of the parent having a shorter life expectancy or a terminal illness. They may fund it specifically because the parent has the illness and they want to avoid it being passed down. The couple are likely to be fertile, however TTC naturally would obvs massively increase the chance of an affected child being born. The aim of the PGD is to select an embryo that will be free of the life limiting disease.

40s and mid 50s should the latest you have a baby personally so I do think 64 is far too old and will be unfair on the child, as they'll get far less time with their parents and if the parents die before the child reaches adulthood it may be that their older siblings will have to take on the role as guardian which may become a burden to them. It's just selfish all round for both the potential baby and her existing children if things were to go wrong, she would be better off looking into fostering.

OP isn't coming back, she's lobbed in the grenade and run.

The story will be coming to a tabloid near you soon.