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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have had enough of this friend's digs

38 replies

triggeredbyidiots · 03/06/2018 01:06

I am a teacher and I am very proud of what I do. I work very hard and am relatively successful. But I have a friend who is very derogatory about teachers, making the usual digs about too many holidays, those who can't do, teach etc. It's very strange as both her parents work in education.
She thinks people who teach aren't very smart. She also thinks the job is easy, anyone can do it. I know for a fact, she wouldn't last a day at my school.
We've fallen out numerous times over things she's said. Once, a friend was considering retraining as a teacher and she said to her "god you must be desperate"
Aibu to wondering what the bloody hell her problem is? I would never comment on her work or make sweeping statements about her colleagues.
Has anyone got a friend like this or could give me something I could say the next time she makes such comments?

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 03/06/2018 01:39

Fuck off would work.

InkSnail · 03/06/2018 01:42

Tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about, and to become a teacher herself if she thinks it's so easy.

TheKarateKitty · 03/06/2018 01:43

No, I don’t have a friend that does that because friends don’t act that way.

She’s really got a chip on her shoulder for whatever reason.

If you have to endure her rude comments again, just give her a pointed look and ask, “feel better about yourself now?”

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/06/2018 02:12

Has anyone else got a friend like this..

No I don't have any friends. I fooked them off for treating me like shit and only getting in touch when they wanted something
I've never looked back. You wont either.

Does she have children. God help their teachers. You can imagine her to be one of those "My child can do as they please" parents, can't you.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/06/2018 02:13

I suspect that the issue is that her parents are in education. Too much of a coincidence for it to be anything else.

She has issues with her parents and her parents are teachers so therefore all teachers are arseholes.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/06/2018 02:14

Also if it's such an easy job why doesn't she train up for it. After all they're crying out for them. Mind you on second thoughts scratch that I wouldn't want her teaching my nephews

emmyrose2000 · 03/06/2018 02:24

Has anyone else got a friend like this
No, none of my friends are like this. If they were, they wouldn't be my friends for very long because I'd dump them pronto.

emmyrose2000 · 03/06/2018 02:28

I suspect that the issue is that her parents are in education. Too much of a coincidence for it to be anything else. She has issues with her parents and her parents are teachers so therefore all teachers are arseholes

This was my first thought too. Maybe they spent too much time on their job and not enough with her/placed pressure on her to succeed as the child of teachers, or something and she's still harbouring resentment over it. Whatever the reason, she doesn't have any right to dump her ill informed issues on you, or any other teacher.

bumbleboots · 03/06/2018 02:35

she sounds bitter. I think teaching is probably one of the more difficult professions and I bow down to anyone who can hack the poor pay and gruesome hours. Being the child of teachers can make a person bitter.

FeckinCrunchiesInTheCar · 03/06/2018 02:57

Did she fail her school exams?
that might be the root of it.

flowerslemonade · 03/06/2018 03:21

ask her why she's being so unpleasant

BookWitch · 03/06/2018 03:49

My DH comes from a whole family of teachers (parents, both sets of grandparents and several aunts/uncles).

I am also a teacher.

In fact, I think he is the only member of his family who isn't a teacher.
DD17 has expressed an interest in doing a BEd and becoming a primary teacher.

He can be quite down on teachers, but he knows my Fuck Off face.

With him, it is definitely due to his parents being overworked and underpaid. He had to go to the school where is mum was deputy head (for logisitcal/childcare reasons) and he was bullied mercilessly. For this reason I have never taught in my kids schools, and never will (they are older now anyway)
Even most of their family holidays turned out to be reccys for school trips.

In your friend's case though, I would just tell her to fuck right off.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/06/2018 03:50

So what type of work does this paragon do herself?

Bin her. She’s either jealous of you or just plain mean. Either way, she’s no friend

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 03/06/2018 03:54

You have to accept that she isn’t a friend. A friend wouldn’t put you down like this

Copperbonnet · 03/06/2018 04:01

I’d calmly call her out on it:

“You are always so rude about my job. It’s insulting and hurtful and it makes me not want to see you. You need to stop”

If she doesn’t apologise or she doesn’t stop she’s not a friend.

imweirdandcool · 03/06/2018 04:13

What does she do
?

Monty27 · 03/06/2018 04:17

The friend has issues. Kick it to the kerb.

flumpybear · 03/06/2018 05:33

I'm with copper - and she's a cow!! (Not you copper!)
What's her job ?

echt · 03/06/2018 05:37

Block and move on. What an arsehead.

Coyoacan · 03/06/2018 05:49

Really I don't think there is any profession I admire more than teachers, when they are good. But then I have tried my hand at teaching and it is bloody hard.

Groovee · 03/06/2018 05:53

I have a family member who constantly slates teachers. We think because her children were never teachers pet or loved by the teachers the way she thought they should!

My close friend who is more like family is an amazing teacher and regularly challenges her opinions in fb and family member just gets aggressive and rude because she can't back up what she has said.

She recently said "I was a nursery teacher for 18 years!" When in reality she was a nursery nurse who worked for 9 years! No idea what goes on in her mind at all!

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/06/2018 06:13

My first thought was also that this is about her issues with her parents. They may have made her feel inadequate and the way she dealt with it was to reverse this by deciding they were inadequate. I’m with Copperbonnet. She’s very rude to you. I could never imagine saying that to a teacher.

My friend has just finished retraining to be one in her mid 40’s. She’s going to be a darn good teacher. And no, not everyone can teach. I thought I knew a little of how involved it is having been an English assistant, who at 20/21 taught classes of 15 for a year and was basically left to my own devices with no input from the teachers and having taught adults too. But omg, the paperwork and the level of scrutiny involved is out of this world ridiculous.

‘nursery teacher’ is not a teacher. You need to be caring and have a lot of patience and resilience though I’m sure.

Jaxinthebox · 03/06/2018 06:16

She isnt your friend if she carries on like that! Have you called her out on it?

What does she do?

Groovee · 03/06/2018 06:18

@Mummyoflittledragon I think my work colleague who is a fully trained teacher with 30 years experience and is the nursery teacher would disagree with you! She's the one who has overall responsibility and is treated like every other teacher in the school.

My qualifications entitled me to work as an early years practitioner. I would consider myself an educator but as I don't have a degree in teaching I am not a teacher!

redcarbluecar · 03/06/2018 06:28

Interesting isn't it, how some people feel qualified to make sweeping statements about teachers in a way we wouldn't about other professions ('All software engineers are....', 'The problem with sheep farmers is...')

OP is it possible just to ignore your friend and not engage when she goes on like this? You don't need to defend the profession, the workload or the holidays. People can do their own research if they're that interested. If they just want to wind other people up, they're best just shut down.

I'm a teacher and if anyone has a dig about the long holidays I just say 'yeah, they're bloody great'.

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