To have let DS have the Chinese?

[VeddersSirens]

DH has been drinking wife beater all night so is generally a bit of a cunt, picking arguments, being sarcastic, heavy sighing etc

Any last night DS2 (17) stayed out at a friend's all night. We ordered takeaway, his half was still in the fridge today.

Tonight he's come home, had tonight's tea (BBQ, although not much of it) and then asked if he could have the Chinese from last night. It was his anyway so I said yes.

DH now has a face on over it, saying it's a piss take, I'm ridiculous to let him, "what a fucking carry on" etc etc ... it was his anyway!!! WIBU or is DH just being a cuntish drunken arsehole as usual?

Christ, it sounds like Shameless.

I am afraid you are both missing the point. It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

That's hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! A lesson to us all that you truly can be offended by very nearly anything.

Anyway, OP, as others have said, your husband sounds horrible. At least if your son is 17, maybe he'll be moving out on his own before too many more years... I feel sorry for him, if this is typical behavior from his crappy, grumpy-drunk step-father.

chinesechicken I agree. We're asking a hell of a lot for a child to just accept a new person into their lives who they've had no part in choosing. I think it would be difficult enough with a lovely supportive step parent, let alone an angry obnoxious drunk!

Eveninghare: am afraid you are both missing the point. It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

No, because we have an Indian, or a Thai, or do you fancy Italian tonight. If they used a derogatory term for Chinese then that would be unacceptable however, in this context it is not racist

Used in all those contexts is still casual racism.

I am not surprised by the belittling reaction I got from some other posters on this thread. I have had that response before because it is common usage in the UK amongst certain groups to use it without realising its impact. I will still call it out.

It stems from ignorance and says a lot about the people who unthinkingly use a person's race or nationality to describe food. It costs nothing to say 'Chinese takeaway' or 'Italian food'.

Chinesechicken and Allmysocks I completely agree with you both

Anyone working in child protection will tell you one of the biggest risks children face is an older adult male moving into their home

Your poor son has to deal with an abusive drunk ‘cunt’ in his own childhood home

Please please put your son first and protect him

I'm really annoyed that OP hasn't responded, and I feel so sad for her son! I want to know what OP is doing to ensure her son doesn't feel so unwelcome in his own home.

blueshoes Sun 03-Jun-18 15:57:39
Eveninghare: am afraid you are both missing the point. It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

No, because we have an Indian, or a Thai, or do you fancy Italian tonight. If they used a derogatory term for Chinese then that would be unacceptable however, in this context it is not racist

Used in all those contexts is still casual racism.

I am not surprised by the belittling reaction I got from some other posters on this thread. I have had that response before because it is common usage in the UK amongst certain groups to use it without realising its impact. I will still call it out.

It stems from ignorance and says a lot about the people who unthinkingly use a person's race or nationality to describe food. It costs nothing to say 'Chinese takeaway' or 'Italian food'.

You might be right if people were being derogatory, but calling a meal 'Indian' or 'Chinese' or 'Thai' is just a shortening of 'Indian takeaway' or 'Chinese takeaway' or 'Thai takeaway' when you take it in context so to try to make that out to be racist is just pathetic even for professionally offended snowflake standards.

DH is just being a twat cos he's had a few. Usual Saturday night unfortunately

You can`t change him so you need to change your choices. This is teaching your kids that this is a normal way to behave. Get drunk and treat people badly...

Poor DS

The term 'full English' is horribly racist. DH asked if I wanted one on Saturday and it was literal violence.

Madness that a man can drink 7% lager all evening, beat his wife, and it be blamed on the lager. Yet most women can drink 14% wine and refrain from beating their husbands.