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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have let DS have the Chinese?

86 replies

VeddersSirens · 03/06/2018 00:03

DH has been drinking wife beater all night so is generally a bit of a cunt, picking arguments, being sarcastic, heavy sighing etc

Any last night DS2 (17) stayed out at a friend's all night. We ordered takeaway, his half was still in the fridge today.

Tonight he's come home, had tonight's tea (BBQ, although not much of it) and then asked if he could have the Chinese from last night. It was his anyway so I said yes.

DH now has a face on over it, saying it's a piss take, I'm ridiculous to let him, "what a fucking carry on" etc etc ... it was his anyway!!! WIBU or is DH just being a cuntish drunken arsehole as usual?

OP posts:
beetfarmer · 03/06/2018 04:10

Your poor son. He will stay away from home more and more to avoid this. Please get rid of this man.

imweirdandcool · 03/06/2018 04:16

Is your son 7 you mean? Cause I could not see how any 17 year old needs permission to eat food that was left for him in the first place

Monty27 · 03/06/2018 04:21

Had your ex left yet?

pinkgirl1234 · 03/06/2018 04:29

It's 2018. Is there really a drink nicknamed "wife beater"? That's vile.

I don't see the problem with your son eating his own food. Your husband doesn't sound very nice. Flowers

pissedonatrain · 03/06/2018 05:50

Your DH isn't a bit of a cunt, he's a complete drunken cunt.

Save your child from this monster if you won't save yourself.

Are you afraid of him?

SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2018 05:53

Pink Girl it's called Stella Artois

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/06/2018 06:22

Your husband is a nasty drunk. If that is your regular Saturday night, why are you with him?

SoddingUnicorns · 03/06/2018 06:36

And why do people call it wife beater? Seems a bit sick...

It is sick. It’s nicknamed wife beater because it’s strong lager which tends to magnify aggressive behaviour and has been linked to numerous domestic assaults.

OP you describe a “usual Saturday night” as if it’s perfectly normal. It’s not. Not at all. Creating such a ridiculous fuss over food isn’t normal, treating your son the way he’s treating him isn’t normal, and having the whole house walking on eggshells isn’t normal.

I can’t remember the name of the pp who posted about their stepfather, but that is how your son must be feeling. And it’s not on.

Your husband has two choices. Dry out and grow the fuck up, or leave.

You and your son are worth more.

Raffles1981 · 03/06/2018 07:08

Marriedwithchildren5

Why let him drink it if he can't handle it??

It's not that easy to tell someone, an adult, to stop drinking something like Stella. It's fucking vile stuff, makes arseholes out of wankers.

Juells · 03/06/2018 07:08

@chinesechicken

My step dad used to expect me to ask for permission to eat things out of the fridge when I was a teenager, and used to make me knock on the front door of my own home . I left when I was 17 and thank god the cunt is gone now. Never forgiven my mum for subjecting me to his shit.

Criticising step-parents is very frowned on, on MN, but there's a reason why they have a bad rep. My DDs stepmother used to do the same type of thing - removing the bottle of ribena just as they'd be about to pour some into a glass, saying "This has to do my the children for a week, you know. You swan in here at the weekend and think you can eat and drink anything you like."

You need to stand up for your son. He'll leave as soon as he can, and won't want to visit once he's free of the shitty domineering. He's also being conditioned to think that that sort of abusive behaviour is acceptable and normal.

SunnyCoco · 03/06/2018 07:16

Please protect your son
He hasn’t chosen this

blueshoes · 03/06/2018 10:56

the Chinese'. Do you mean 'the Chinese takeaway'?

HappenedForAReisling: I'm so glad you clarified that for us. pedant fail

9amTrain: @blueshoes* No, obviously she meant the Chinese President.

I am afraid you are both missing the point. It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

sleep5 · 03/06/2018 11:00

Stella Artois reduced their alcohol content in the UK a year or two ago because of the "wife beater" nickname. Though there are plenty of other 5% and stronger beers on the market still.

Most people can drink beer in moderation without resorting to being unpleasant - maybe you'd be better off without him or should encourage him to reduce his intake. The main problem with alcohol is that it can make people intolerant and obnoxious - it's best avoiding them at such times if you can.

9amTrain · 03/06/2018 11:52

@blueshoes No, it's not. Please aquire a grip.

EveningHare · 03/06/2018 12:28

blueshoes

the Chinese'. Do you mean 'the Chinese takeaway'?

HappenedForAReisling: I'm so glad you clarified that for us. pedant fail

9amTrain: *@blueshoesNo, obviously she meant the Chinese President.

I am afraid you are both missing the point. It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

No, because we have an Indian, or a Thai, or do you fancy Italian tonight

If they used a derogatory term for Chinese then that would be unacceptable however, in this context it is not racist

beetfarmer · 03/06/2018 12:41

@chinesechicken my step dad pulled the same shit. Have also never forgiven my mum. I don't understand why some people subject their kids to this.

N0rfolkEnchants · 03/06/2018 12:52

Why are you putting this man before your son? You know that people don't generally tolerate this hideous behaviour don't you?

Put your boy first

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/06/2018 12:58

If thing carry on as they are I'm sure your son will be packing his bags as soon as he has anywhere else to go and your horrible husband can eat whatever he wants.

A 17 year old having to ask permission to eat his own food from the fridge? The mind boggles.

Even if you're used to this awful behaviour, why are you exposing your child to it? Do you want him to grow up thinking it's normal? Or healthy?

OohMavis · 03/06/2018 13:05

It is subtle casual racism to refer to an entire ethnic group as a type of food.

This is the best bit of professionally offended drivel I've seen in ages. Bravo!

SilverySurfer · 03/06/2018 13:14

Spot on OohMavis virtue signalling at its finest Grin

I think who got the leftover Chinese takeaway (boak) is the least of your problems compared with your DH who sounds like a treasure Hmm

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 03/06/2018 13:14

blueshoes I’m with you on this one.

But people tend to get angry and defensive when they don’t recognise casual racism, particularly when it manifests in casual idioms that are widely used. I’d just let it be in this case.

SilverBirchTree · 03/06/2018 13:17

Yet another thread where the topic isn’t the issue.

Sod the takeaway. Why are you living with an abusive man?

I also agree that it sounds ignorant to refer to Chinese food as ‘the Chinese.’ *hides

BitchQueen90 · 03/06/2018 13:19

Why is your almost adult DS having to ask before he eats food in his own home?

Cutyourshakehole · 03/06/2018 13:20

Wife beater is a very tasteless joke to use on a forum like this.

I thought this thread was going to be about allowing a 2 year old to have his first takeaway or something.

chinesechicken · 03/06/2018 13:20

I'm so glad so many agree with me. So many of my friends aged around 25 to 26 have all had similar experiences. Step parents strolling in and taking control of the house which actually the child has grown up in, who cares if they are now contributing to be mortgage? That is the home that the child has always known, and suddenly now there are new rules and they are made to feel uncomfortable, just because their mum or dad have chosen to sleep with some control freak? Utterly disgusting and I will never put my kids through that.