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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is BU? Takeaway night.

87 replies

Foodissuesnoneed · 02/06/2018 21:09

The following is fairly lighthearted but it did piss me off a bit.

I offered to get takeaway for dinner tonight. We don’t have much money so this is a little treat and great to not have to cook for a change. I told dp that my budget is £20.
There’s me, dp and our teenage ds.
He entered mine and ds choice into app and added his own, then told me ‘oh, it’ll go over your budget by £5 because I want a pizza too’ The pizza is in addition to his chosen meal (he’s always buying more than he needs to eat if we get takeaway, if it’s Mcdonalds he’ll order a couple of extra cheeseburgers to reheat later, and he likes cold pizza so that would get eaten either later or tomorrow)
I said that’s fine just give me the £5. He looked shocked and said ‘but you’re paying tonight’ so I said that he knows my budget is £20 and I’ve got to stick to it (I could actually afford the £5 if I wanted to pay it)
He huffed and said he won’t get the pizza then. I asked why he insists on ordering 2 meals anyway and he said ‘because I’m hungry’
I told him there’s plenty of other food in the house if he was still hungry after dinner (he wasn’t)
Was I BU to ask for the £5 or was he BU and taking the piss?

OP posts:
MummySpider · 02/06/2018 21:11

He was BU!

fairgame84 · 02/06/2018 21:11

He was BU.
You told him your budget beforehand. He wants 2 meals then he needs to pay for it.

Flaminglingos · 02/06/2018 21:12

Greedy pig

ItsNachoCheese · 02/06/2018 21:14

He is bu you clearly stated your budget. If he wants more food that exceeds the budget he pays for it

AtiaoftheJulii · 02/06/2018 21:15

He was BU - your twenty quid was for tonight's dinner, not tomorrow's brunch!

Marmalady75 · 02/06/2018 21:16

Obviously he is BU.

NewPapaGuinea · 02/06/2018 21:17

He’s hungry now because he hasn’t eaten yet 😂 A second meal is OTT

19lottie82 · 02/06/2018 21:17

He was BU. You’re buying a take away for tonight. Not his lunch for tomorrow.

Unless on the flip side he is always uber generous, then maybe you are B a bit U.

PS cold pizza ok, who actually heats up cold McDonald’s burgers? That’s just minging!!!

YoucancallmeVal · 02/06/2018 21:18

He is completely U and quite repellently so.

19lottie82 · 02/06/2018 21:20

God I want a McDonald’s now Angry

MandalaYogaTapestry · 02/06/2018 21:20

This is your partner and since your son is a teenager you've been together for a long time? And you would begrudge him £5 for an extra pizza? Unless he's been very tight towards you in the past, you are BU.

MsHomeSlice · 02/06/2018 21:21

he's only hungry if YOU are paying....greedy pig!

MrsMozart · 02/06/2018 21:22

Him.

LiteraryDevil1 · 02/06/2018 21:22

I had an ex who used to order 2 meals for himself. Greedy fecker. I've offered to buy you dinner tonight, not dinner for tonight AND tomorrow night. Used to cost me £30 for him, his 12 year old don and me. Soon stopped doing that I can tell you.

Please don't pander to his sulking!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 02/06/2018 21:23

When you're paying, it;s unbelievably rude to order himself a second meal for later, you were offering to buy the food for this particular meal.
If he wants a pizza later/tomorrow, he can order one then himself, nice hot and fresh.
Smacks of being greedy and wanting to get the most out of it as hes not the one paying! I bet he'd have something to say about it if it were reversed and YOU picked a second meal for later/tomorrow when hes paying.

Foodissuesnoneed · 02/06/2018 21:27

See, I knew he was BU and you lot would back me up!

@NewPapaGuinea
I know! What a rubbish reason! Especially as we’ve been together for so long and I know what he’s up to Wink

@19lottie82
He’s generous enough but when it comes to him paying for takeaway I order one meal, he will order extra for himself. It’s a bad habit of his. And yep, he reheats them, sometimes the next day Confused

OP posts:
Phoebebuffaybannahammock · 02/06/2018 21:28

Greedy sod! No YNBU.

Foodissuesnoneed · 02/06/2018 21:32

Aww @MandalaYogaTapestry
I don’t ‘begrudge’ him the £5 or the food, it’s just this bad habit he has and it bugs me. He doesn’t need to order 2 meals, he always eats one and saves the other. Also, we don’t have much money, this is a treat as I’ve got a bit spare this month. He didn’t go hungry I promise Smile

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouser · 02/06/2018 21:34

Well, if it’s what he does when he pays too, then I don’t think he’s being that out of line. You have a teenager, it’s not like you’re newly dating...and you’re quibbling over a fiver? How in god’s name do you manage your other joint expenses and costs of a teenager?!

Sammyham · 02/06/2018 21:34

YANBU, I know it's only 5 quid but that's not the principal, as a PP has said, you're getting his dinner in, not his lunch for tomorrow too.

Brazenhussy0 · 02/06/2018 21:36

YANBU he was being greedy (and really needs to break that bad habit!)
If my DP sulked because I wouldn't buy him an extra pizza alongside his meal I'd tell him to forget the takeaway entirely!
Nothing less attractive than greed and sulking.

Notevilstepmother · 02/06/2018 21:39

That’s 25% over budget, it’s not like it’s a few pence. Yanbu. He is being greedy.

UnsalariedPost · 02/06/2018 21:40

I can't understand how two people who've been together long enough to have a teenage DS can separate their money to such a minute extent that five pounds would be a point for argument.
I can't even understand how it would be 'mine' and 'yours'
In my house it's just 'ours'
Depends whose idea it is to keep the money separate, and who has most disposable income, I suppose. Whomsoever is better of is being unreasonable.

Bluntness100 · 02/06/2018 21:40

I would agree. Money is tight. You sensibly set a budget. It's not on for him to expect you to go over it so he can have two meals. It's greedy and selfish.

MyLearnedFriend · 02/06/2018 21:41

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