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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this cashier was rude...

79 replies

veggifriedbreakfast · 02/06/2018 16:45

I've had a problem with her before when I have tried to by alcohol and she asked for my ID, not a problem, I showed her my passport but she said she didn't believe it and refused to sell to me. I was 25 then (26 now).

I went in with DP today, he's 16 years older than me. She asks me for ID so I show her and dp though she was asking him and started asking others how old he looked, so they said late twenties early thirties. She then started giggling and flirting with him about how young he looks and then told him that she was surprised with my ID because Im much younger than she was expecting!!!!!

Then asking him to guess her age and endless flirting...

I'm in shock, why ask me for ID anyway if you truly think I look a lot older and then be blatantly rude and flirty like that.

DP thought at first she was rude and then not so bad, maybe because of the flirting. (I don't know if it's relevant but she turned out to be 52)

Just lost for words.

OP posts:
veggifriedbreakfast · 02/06/2018 16:47

Urgh I feel so insulted

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 02/06/2018 16:53

Your DP started this by asking others to guess his age. I'm not sure why you're insulted - it sounds moderately irritating, but nothing more.

veggifriedbreakfast · 02/06/2018 16:54

@screaming well, insulted because she was rude to me saying I was a lot younger than she thought!!! That's rude.

I think because of her passed behaviour towards me I just think she shouldn't be in retail

OP posts:
AllMYSmellySocks · 02/06/2018 16:57

I'm confused though who was asking everyone how old DP looked her or DP?

Either way yes she sounds very rude to say that you look old for your age. It also doesn't make sense if she asked for ID and refused to sell you alcohol on a previous occasion.

ScreamingValenta · 02/06/2018 17:00

It's rather rude in the sense of being a personal remark, but I wouldn't class being mistaken about someone's age as being insulting - unless you think being older is a terrible thing! You haven't given details of her past behaviour other than that she refused to sell you alcohol - which is within her rights as a cashier.

I think on the whole you are making too much of this, and should draw a line under it and move on.

Ethylred · 02/06/2018 22:10

I don't think the OP wants to draw a line.
Hope she doesn't anyway, I'm enjoying this.

LovingLola · 02/06/2018 22:12

So was your dp flirting back with her?
Can you go somewhere else to get alcohol?

Butterflykissess · 02/06/2018 23:09

Kinda sounds like your o h was flirting back ...

MyKingdomForBrie · 02/06/2018 23:29

which is within her rights as a cashier well it shouldn’t be ‘within her rights’ when shown a valid passport for the correct age. At the very least a manager should be called.

condepetie · 02/06/2018 23:35

I don't believe a cashier in a shop would refuse a passport for any reason.

Your DP started the objectionable conversation. She may have been rude but if she refused your ID it was because it wasn't valid (was it out of date?)

SapphireSeptember · 02/06/2018 23:45

Actually, they can still refuse to sell alcohol to someone who has a passport and is the right age. They can even override what the manager says. (Because in the case of a proxy sale, someone not being the right age, using fake ID or being drunk it's your neck on the line.) Something to do with those pesky laws.

The rare few times I've actually had to use my Think 25 training I think I made one lady's day by asking for ID, she couldn't believe I thought she was under 25 (although I am shite at judging age.) I've only just stopped being asked for ID myself.

ilovesooty · 02/06/2018 23:49

Who were the other people guessing your partner's age?

Marriedwithchildren5 · 03/06/2018 00:09

You need to get over it. I was embarrassed reading this!

ScreamingValenta · 03/06/2018 00:29

@MyKingdomForBrie - @SapphireSeptember explains succinctly why this is within the cashier's rights. His/her job is on the line.

ThenCameTheFools · 03/06/2018 00:35

Does your dp often.play silly games with female shop assistants?

How embarrassing for you.

SapphireSeptember · 03/06/2018 00:36

Not just that, you can end up with a criminal record, and you get fined. No thanks. Glad I work in the café! I don't have to think about it too much.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 03/06/2018 00:40

You know what OP this doesn’t impact your life. Do you really need to waste energy being angry about some random woman in a shop who feels the need to insult customers? Do you need to hold onto that upset? I bet you don’t. I bet you have a lovely life to be getting on with.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 03/06/2018 07:09

So first she refuses to believe what your passport says Confused presumably thinking you are too young to buy a drink.

On another day she expresses surprise at your age, apparently she thought you were much older Shock

She also flirts with customers.

Yes she is rude and seems to have a lot of time in her hands.

Cuffuffle · 03/06/2018 07:13

I'm 26 and have been ID'd for a scratch card twice recently! Now I know I look young but there's no way I look fucking 15! It's a power trip for most of them. It's there only opportunity to feel important in their sad little lives...

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 03/06/2018 07:19

To be honest your partner sounds attention-seeking for asking random people how old they thought he was. He started all the silliness and she was joining in. They both seem annoying but I wouldn't take her comments seriously.

angryburd · 03/06/2018 07:20

^ "It's a power trip for most of them"

Piss off. It's also a £5000 personal fine and potential prosecution if they end up serving an underager. Get over yourself.

Cuffuffle · 03/06/2018 07:23

Then why would a woman who thought a woman looked older that what she thought need to ask for ID? Hmm

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 03/06/2018 07:23

The rule is usually to ask for id for anyone who looks 25 or under. You are 26 but she thought you looked older than that, so why would she ask for id? That would have irritated me, and yes I think saying a customer looks older than they are is rude. It sounds like your dh was being a bit flirty himself and she was just responding to that so I would blame him for that more than her.

Pebbles789 · 03/06/2018 07:34

cuffuffle
It's a power trip for most of them. It's there only opportunity to feel important in their sad little lives

You may not look about 15,.but your comments are ridiculously immature.
What you should realise is that its the cashier's job to ensure they do not serve certain items without seeing proof of I.d.
If the cashier sells something to someone under age then they could lose their job, and that's the least of it!
There is a policy of 'challenge 25' in many places. I'll explain to you what that means so that you can 'grasp' it.

It means that if anyone looks under 25 to the cashier, and are purchasing age restriction items, then the cashier has a duty to ask for I.d. Do you understsnd this now cuffuffle?

So to say that they are on a 'power trip' and have 'sad little lives" for asking for I.d is actually really pathetic

HunterHearstHelmsley · 03/06/2018 07:39

Sorry but I agree with the above poster that sometimes it is just a power trip. I used to get ID'd by someone I went to school with, someone I sat next to in Maths class, he definitely remembered me. It was ridiculous, and stopped (funnily enough) when I complained to Head Office, explaining the above.

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