About ‘aggressive’ smokers?

[Mynameyourname]

This is an extreme example of course.

I’ve got a rare day off and was sitting outside at a sidewalk cafe enjoying my lunch.

Another customer came along and sat down practically on top of me (I was on a long bench, she chose a spot with no table despite the many empty tables available) and lit up a cigarette immediately.

I was on the last bite of my sandwich and basically fled indoors as the smoke blew all over me.

I could see from inside that within a few moments she’d seated herself at “my” table, moved the plates somewhere else and then ordered a glass of wine!

Smoking is allowed there, so that’s fine, but AIBU to think that her behaviour was incredibly rude and basically inviting me to either have a fight (and still get covered in smoke) or simply flee? I feel like it’s ruined my lunch and I feel silly for letting it, but I don’t like cigarette smoke and I just washed my hair this morning

I would have felt exactly the same! Yes, it's allowed but I find it extremely selfish.

I was in an outdoor cafe at a theme park on Wednesday and a toddler was given a potty to use next to where we were eating. People can be disgusting. I find vapes equally disgusting and people seem to get away with using them indoors at shopping centres etc.
The woman you describe was obviously rude but may just not have noticed you - smokers often do not appreciate how horrible the smell is to others.

I’m just glad we can get away from smoke most of the time now - I remember flights, the cinema and being in my granddads car were horrendous as a child.

YABU, people smoke outside, they do not have the option to go inside.
I bet you don't complain in the winter when you are warm inside and they are cold outside.
Think yourself lucky it's now and not before the indoor ban, you'd have had something to complain about then, whether you'd just washed your hair or not

'fled indoors' i hope you were all arms flailing and shrieking whilst clutching your throat?

Where is she supposed to smoke?
Oour neighbours complained that one of our guests smoking in our garden was ruining their enjoyment of their barbecue because they had to take their baby in away from the smoke. I didn't point out the obvious double standards.

Ah, the non-reading contingent has rolled up I see.

Where was she supposed to smoke? Perhaps at one of the many empty tables, instead of right next to me clearly wanting the specific table at which I was seated.

not a non reading contingent. Just someone who read 'smoking is allowed there' and thought 'ok, so that's that then'

It is disgusting and would have annoyed me too, I don't feel sorry for smokers outside in the winter.

The usual smokers who can't see beyond 'it's allowed' to what is actually considerate and reasonable.

There was absolutely no reason for this woman to plonk herself right beside you. She had plenty of other options.

But hey ho, it's legal and that's all some smokers care about.

But RebeccaWrongDaily BBQ smoke doesn't contain the toxins that tobacco smoke does. It still has micro particles but is not as dangerous as tobacco smoke. Also cigarette smoke stinks and BBQ smells nice.

And no, I don't feel the least bit sorry for them huddled outside in the Winter. If smokers had behaved with a modicum of consideration and courtesy towards non smokers across the years, the lobby to get them out of restaurants, pubs etc wouldn't have been so strong.

Now some of them are behaving with equal lack of consideration when smoking in outdoor spaces and will no doubt be moaning bitterly if smoking in any public space, whether outdoor or indoor, becomes illegal.

I'm a smoker and I wouldn't have done that.
Op you should have stayed put and made a point of wafting away the smoke with your hand.
She was rude.

The sooner they ban smoking outdoors in public spaces, the better. It's absolutely gross getting a faceful of someone else's smoke. The entrance to busy stations is a particular nightmare.

You’re going to get all the stinking, smelly fag ash Lily’s bleating on about smokers rights.

Yanbu. She was rude and selfish. She wanted your table and got it.

It would have been weird and rude for her to come and sit right next to you when there were plenty of empty tables, whether she wanted to smoke or not.

I smoke and will always stand / sit well away from people and entrances wherever possible, so she should’ve been more considerate. But of course many people would complain regardless about someone smoking in a designated smoking area, so you can’t win really.

Yanbu. She could have sat at one of the empty tables. In actual fact she was an arsehole.

I agree. Smoking in public spaces should just be banned. If people want to smoke in their own homes fine. But allowing it in public places just means that some smokers behave as if non smokers have no right to any consideration when out of doors.

You are never going to change that mind set with some of the more aggressive smokers, so I would love to see a total ban.

I think some smokers simply don't realise the impact of their cigarette smoke.
One friend when she gave up smoking complained to a group of friends about the smell of cigarette smoke on smokers. We all just nodded in agreement. She then asked if she used to smell like that. We all said yes. She was horrified.

Regardless of smoking, I never understand people who choose to sit next to a stranger at a cafe or on a bus when there are loads of empty seats.

YANBU, it's becoming more obvious that second-hand smoke can be harmful to others, imo should be banned from public spaces. It's bloody disgusting.

There is a difference between "allowed" and considerate

'The sooner they ban smoking outdoors in public spaces, the better. It's absolutely gross getting a faceful of someone else's smoke. The entrance to busy stations is a particular nightmare.'

This.

I wish legislation on smoking contained a clause that a smoker is obliged to stop or move immediately in any public space (with the exception of designated smoking spaces, which are not the same as spaces where smoking is simply not banned) if a non-smoker requests they do so.

I would have moved too - to a safe distance and then requested she go and sit at one of the empty tables so I could continue my lunch without being covered in her disgusting smoke.

Smoking has had its day, thank goodness. It's just that lots of smokers don't want to accept it.

Smokers are the only group left that people get to be judgmental and nasty about, and does it ever show!

I agree Anelderlylady. a lot of smokers consider designated smoking areas and spaces where smoking is not illegal to be one and the same. They're not. Obviously no one should walk into a designated smoking area and complain about people smoking. But that's not the same as getting annoyed because someone lights up beside you in an outdoor space.

Some smokers just can't see this though, and are convinced they're not being rude or inconsiderate because 'smoking isn't illegal outside'.

Well yes. It is a disgusting habit that kills people and puts others at risk. There is literally nothing good about it.