About ‘aggressive’ smokers?

[Mynameyourname]

This is an extreme example of course.

I’ve got a rare day off and was sitting outside at a sidewalk cafe enjoying my lunch.

Another customer came along and sat down practically on top of me (I was on a long bench, she chose a spot with no table despite the many empty tables available) and lit up a cigarette immediately.

I was on the last bite of my sandwich and basically fled indoors as the smoke blew all over me.

I could see from inside that within a few moments she’d seated herself at “my” table, moved the plates somewhere else and then ordered a glass of wine!

Smoking is allowed there, so that’s fine, but AIBU to think that her behaviour was incredibly rude and basically inviting me to either have a fight (and still get covered in smoke) or simply flee? I feel like it’s ruined my lunch and I feel silly for letting it, but I don’t like cigarette smoke and I just washed my hair this morning

What garden and gilly said.

The double standards always amuse me. If I'd taken up compulsive eating for the same reasons I started smoking, or just taken up over eating as a general vice and was obese instead of a smoker, nobody would expect to bang on without being jumped on. Or moralise about how disgusting I am, or how I should just pack it in with all the free medical help on offer, how I should know better etc.

I don't light up near people in public, unless it's a small smoking area and they're in it and have other places to move away. But I've certainly had numerous occasions where nobody is near and some idiot decides to ignore the other options and get close so they can make a passive aggressive fuss.

I am lucky that my local pub lets us vape indoors although they do ask us not to blow clouds! The regulars are fine with it, although if it gets busy, I of course go and stand with the vile scummy smokers... j/k

That’s not really got to do with my post though does it hogfather? More a response to what other posters have said.

Reginald - that old red herring? Who's happy about invisible emissions and pollutants? It's bad enough they are in the air we have to breathe without anyone adding to it with far more concentrated levels of cigarette smoke.

It's a bit like saying 'oh no someone pissed in the pool...might as well add a few other bodily fluids then. We're all swimming in filth anyway"

Cigarette smoke is something that does far more than offend sensibilities - it is dangerous, not just antisocial. At least some smokers understand that there are valid reasons people find it offensive (and like Slutty, find it gross in inappropriate places themselves)

thehogfather you're ignoring the main difference here. You being obese wouldn't put others at risk. You smoking directly puts cancer-causing chemicals into the air that everyone else breathes.

I smoke a couple a day, if in public I will make an effort to be as far away from others as possible and I still feel like a criminal YANBU.
But 'fled' did make me laugh.

hogfather being obese only harms you. Being near an obese person poses no health risks whatsoever. Your argument makes no sense

I do agree that the behavior of the smoker in OP's post was completely out of order, as a Ex smoker I used to sit as far away as I could and as a vaper now I do the same.

However I wish legislation on smoking contained a clause that a smoker is obliged to stop or move immediately in any public space (with the exception of designated smoking spaces, which are not the same as spaces where smoking is simply not banned) if a non-smoker requests they do so will lead to anti-smokers intentionally entering the area where someone is smoking just to make them move or stop.

The comments about how long cigarette smoke lingers have to take into consideration that it's only the case in completely still air, and any air movement will disperse the smoke and particulates faster. We aren't talking about gale winds here either, just people or cars moving past will have that effect.

Tobacco addicts just have to get puffing although they are not 'supposed' to smoke anywhere they want, just like I can't park my car anywhere I have a fancy, or leave my dog's shit where people walk. All are anti-social actions but sadly, even if fag addicts understood the concept it would be meaningless to them, these same people would expect the conventions of society that benefit them to always be there. Ugh.

Ignoring other people who have to inhale poisonous and cancerous tobacco exhaust is to be expected, because they are doing the same to themselves by ignoring the painful and distressing consequences of their horribly expensive habit.

Freedom to smoke? Sure, it's legal but it only ever benefits the tobacco sellers. Everybody else suffers it's effects in one way or another. There's plenty of help out there to help giving up, I'm convinced no-one is a lost cause. Clean skin, hair and clothes, fresh air, the real taste of food and restored circulation and just a few of the great benefits to look forward to those who can kick the filthy habit.

'Aggressive' would describe it because of smokers' desperation and addiction but YADNBU. It's dire.

Oh ffs smokers don’t HAVE to sit outside in winter do they?! If they’d rather smoke a cigarette and stink than stay warm that’s their choice.

OP - YANBU. The woman was being selfish and I hope she dropped ash in her wine.

Passive drinking is the harm done by those who drink more alcohol than they should. It ranges from the harm done by wine o'clock parents to the people who end up in A&E. Dunno about you, but where I live the town centre is pulsing with drunks of both sexes screeching, falling into traffic and generally making the place intolerable. In comparison, some smoker sitting nearby is a minor inconvenience.

But I warn those who wish to drive smokers out of public open air space that if you drink too much occasionally the health police will be after you next.

op as I agreed with what garden said which also included her thoughts about the woman you encountered, I didn't see any need to write my thoughts again. I also didn't realise that we were only allowed to go off the op if we were having a general smoker bash. My apologies.

taco how do you figure that out given I have stated I don't light up near people. And actually it is relevant, given that it was in response to those making derogatory comments about smokers, not the chemicals.

It's people who gather round doorways smoking that gets my goat. I think it should be banned on any hospital premises after having to walk through a group of smokers to get into the childrens unit the other week. There is nothing worse than having to walk through a toxic cloud of smoke and it just lingers on you....... why anyone chooses to pay a small fortune to smell like a stale ashtray is quite beyond me. Smoking isn't socially acceptable, it's known to be harmful and shouldn't be tolerated in any public spaces IMO.

I look forward to the day smoking in public is banned by law.

I'd go nuts, because my eldest (who's now an adult, but I think the reaction's ingrained in me now), could be put in hospital through cigarette smoke. You don't know who you're sitting next to.

""I'm a smoker and although I wouldn't be as thoughtless as the smoker complained of by OP, I can see no justification for banning smoking in public places. If you're looking at reducing harm and inconvenience caused by consuming addictive substances perhaps think about banning drinking in public.""

They have banned drinking in many public places, especially during the day, public transport etc. You can to an extent walk around drunk, but you can't drink.

thehogfather, as said, obesity isn't comparable.

However, the poster saying that Smokers should be able to be moved on by any member of the public, is a step too far. That would be giving Heroin etc Users and Alcoholics more rights than people who use a lucrative legal drug.

My Mum was smoking out of the way at a Tesco's, we were waiting for a Taxi. Some Gobshite started mouthing off about it. He had a trolley full of carcinogenic foods in his trolley. He had to walk over to her to complain, she was sat in her wheelchair. I'd seen him round Tesco's, his Dad kept asking him why he was buying the rubbish that he was.

The Tobacco industry are as bad as illegal drug dealers. They have deliberately target third world countries with stronger tobacco, so it stops appetite and at first made it cheaper than food. They all have very questionable Investors and shareholders.

"Prawnofthepatriarchy", the difference is that you can drink safely. You can't smoke safely.

I enjoyed a drink during the day and that included on the way there, we would have Bacardi Breezers on the train etc. I still don't want to encounter drunks as i'm travelling, or shopping.

I hate smoking, I wish it die a death in the UK like it has in other places. We live abroad and I see smokers once in a blue moon and it's usually only very very old men. We eat outside most of the year and anyone lighting up where people eat would probably be physically removed because smoking in restaurants is illegal, discusting and not tolerated. My kids were recently in London, they saw kids their age smoking (12 and 14) they were shocked that teens didn't have more sense. It was an eye opener for them, the first thing they said was how many cigarettes they saw in people's mouths and all over the streets. To them it was like stepping back in time, it's so odd that in 2018 it's still socially acceptable and pandered to.

Again, I'm not comparing obesity to smoking in terms of standing next to someone in public.

I'm talking about the attitudes expressed about smokers as people compared to over eaters as people. Eg very few people, including me, would think it acceptable to muse about why anyone is stupid enough to start eating too much in the first place, or call people with compulsive eating problems disgusting. Or suggest they just stop.

They're both addictions, and as such both habits could be called disgusting in terms of the damage they do health wise. But that doesn't make it ok to say either addict is disgusting or generally insult them.

I think it should be banned on any hospital premises after having to walk through a group of smokers to get into the childrens unit the other week
It is banned in most NHS hospital premises, but frequently it isn’t enforced because it would take several members of staff employed 24/7 to enforce it, plus, no doubt, regular intervention by police when people kick-off about being asked to stop. (And they are too busy dealing with threatening and disruptive patients in A&E to worry about people smoking)

Some nice considerate smokers on this thread who really get how annoying their smoking is for other people.

But also some of the usual whinge bags whining that other people do this, that and the other so why shouldn't they be allowed blow smoke all over other people, and why are people picking on poor smokers, huddled outside on freezing winter nights.

Yes, there are other annoying anti social things that people do. That doesn't make it okay to ruin outdoor spaces by smoking all over others. Yes, some people drink too much and indulge in anti social and harmful behaviour. That doesn't make it okay to ruin outdoor spaces by smoking all over others.

Is no-one else wondering why the op couldn't have just politely asked the woman to move until she had finished eating? I know this is a terribly un-British attitude but I see very few people growing a pair and standing up for themselves these days.