To think it takes the piss when wealthy people say this?

[FeeseAndChickle]

I follow a few insta-mums who are clearly very well off financially mainly due to their husband or partner having a very good job, a successful business or family money.

They all regularly post photos of their new clothes, nice handbags, holidays and decor of their lovely big houses.

However I have noticed lately that a couple have done posts along the lines of 'I am not posting pics of my house/holidays/clothes to show off, completely the opposite really. I am just so happy that we finally have the house of our dreams/amazing holidays/designer bags and have to pinch myself. It just goes to show that anyone can have what we have, you just have to go out there, work hard and get it!'

AIBU to think that saying 'you just have to work hard and go and get it' royally takes the piss? I'm sure 99% of people 'work hard' at their jobs and won't in a million years be able to afford some of the things these people have? And it's not as simple as 'going and getting it'.

AIBU to think these types of insta-mums are just saying it to justify more bragging photos of all of their stuff?

Just unfollow or ignore stupid comments like that. They don't have a clue. If they lived a few days in the real world they would be in for such a shock. Of course you need to work hard, but that rarely equates to huge riches. If it was that easy, no one would be poor!

You're right to be pissed off though. Its not just an ignorant comment, its really quite offensive.

First off, comparing yourself to others just leads to unhappiness. Secondly, those people are totally deluded if think that anything bought with their husband's money reflects on them in any way whatsoever. (And before anyone says it's due to the wife standing behind hi and raising his children, many good women do that for men who don't earn huge money, so it's not really relevant). Thirdly, I have been lucky enough to have my hard work result in a good salary (many don't, or don't pursue a big salary out of choice), but wouldn't dream of using it to buy handbags or anything instagrammable. Honestly love, never let yourself feel less of a person after reading that rubbish.

FGS stop wasting your life following shallow, stupid, twats...get out and live your own life!

Use Houzz, Rightmove, Google if you really want to look at nice things.

...and I’m about to take my own advice and go out for a lovely walk around the lake, admire the rapidly growing ducklings and stop getting wound up by MN threads 🤣🐸

I don't have an Instagram account and I truly think the flaunting of wealth, real or exaggerated, on social media is not helpful in making me happier or my life better. It's no difference to the heavily photoshopped pictures on magazine covers. All designed to make people feel inadequate and fuel their desire to copy and spend.

I don't know why people do this on social media.. can you imagine if you worked with someone who everyday came in and said "Do you like my new bag? Look at this pic of my living room, do you like it? Do you like my new hair cut and colour? Look at my nice outfit and shoes... do you like it?"

You'd soon get fed up. Nobody does it because its vacuous and so obviously bragging in real life and somewhat insecure as they desperately need the validation of strangers, but online I suppose you can hide it with a veil of "#blessed"

Urgh what is wrong with the world.

I find it rather difficult to be bothered about people who get excited about handbags.

don't waste time on this crap.

Unfollow them if it bothers you

YANBU that hard work alone is not the reason for their wealth. Wealthy people always come on these threads to bleat about how hard they work... nobody is saying they don’t work hard! Just that plenty of people work hard but don’t enjoy the good luck that has also contributed to the wealthy persons siccess.

I worked 60+ hours a week in a very 'worthy' job. Never owned a Mulberry handbag. Never had a luxury holiday. Never had regular manicures/root maintenance. Never had enough money for that stuff.

You're right, it chips away at you. They live in a bubble.

You just have to unfollow.

Following these lifestyle bloggers and Instagrammrs sounds emotionally draining. Why do it to yourself?!

yeah why are you following idiots in instagram? All of this stuff is just spin and advertising. I sometimes read articles in the odd weekend newspaper - I remember one was about some top interior designer woman who had a nanny and managed to make gourmet dinners for her kids when she got home and that anyone could do it, barf.

The only thing you can really say about hard work, is that the opposite, not giving your best shot at making your life the best it can be, is never a good plan.

Don’t confuse the logic of ‘Ive worked hard so I have lots of nice things’ with ‘everyone who works hard should have nice things’ or even ‘if you don’t have nice things you can’t be working hard enough’. The logic doesn’t work and you are assuming something not said.

It is really bloody arrogant. The worst one I know is a woman who worked with me a while ago in a relatively low paid job and then left when she got married to a man who earns a lot of money. They have no dc's yet and she spends most of her time doing what she wants. She posts this sort of shit and I am desperate to write that it isn't down to HER hard work at all. (I won't actually do this)

Coincidentally in the same previous job was a lady in admin who was quiet, unassuming and worked like a trojan. I found out later she was married to man who was really high up in the same multi national company yet you would never have known.

Even leaving luck aside for a moment (and I quite agree, luck is always involved in financial success one way or another - having confidence and ambition instilled in you as a child, having no health issues which impact on what's achievable, being in the right place at the right time, having a support network of family and friends to help enable you to take advantage of opportunities, and an infinite number of other factors) the plain simple fact is that to earn good money you need to be in the type of job role which pays well, or set up a business of your own which does the same.
And, guess what, there simply aren't enough opportunities of that type available for everyone who's genuinely prepared to work hard. Just suppose for a moment that there was …… what would happen then, who'd be doing all the lesser paid work which keeps society ticking over ? It'd be a disaster. Someone, well, lots of people actually, has to do all that stuff …. and many of them work bloody hard for the pleasure, often during anti social hours, often encountering unpleasant and stressful situations. Do people really believe that lower paid workers sit about on their arses making a minimal amount of effort?!
This 'you too could have what I have if only you worked as hard as I do' is at best condescending and at worst, divisive and scornful. It's absolutely about blaming 'the poor' for their situation so society as a whole can wash its hands of the wider issues.

Just ignore!

On a related note, I am completely behind sahms in agreeing that they work extremely hard especially where there are preschool kids concerned.

However a sahm of a high earning partner doesn't work harder and isn't any more deserving than a sahm whose partner earns very little or who is a lone parent. I think this always needs to be remembered!

Well tbf if they said only posting this to brag about how loaded we are you probably wouldn't like that either.

You presumably following them to look at them and their stuff so you can't really complain when they post about their stuff

I don't know anybody who does this and I follow thousands of random strangers (for work). Maybe put in a few hashtags of words that have meaning for you and find people to follow that way?

Everyone I follow is into 'gratitude', ' kindness', 'sustainability', 'living simply' and 'helping animals'. Not a designer handbag in sight .

I find it rather difficult to be bothered about people who get excited about handbags

Me too. I can't even bring myself to want all that stuff. Even if I won the Lottery (which would be hard as I don't do it) I wouldn't buy all that stuff or even get my nails done for what would be the first time. Just zero interest in it all. I travel light - always have done.

The nearest I get to envy of others is people who seem at peace with themselves and who seem to have rich relationships with others. I am still working on this (dysfunctional childhood and drinking in my past). The thing is, those people who I envy somewhat are very generous in helping others all over the internet, so I am happy to interact and learn from them. They don't assume it's easy for everyone. Many of them have had their own hard road to travel. Much more fulfilling to the soul and much more meaningful.

Possessions don't protect us from illness, death of loved ones and our own demise. They are just distractions. These bloggers are perhaps ignorant of the way poorer people live, but they likely don't mean to hurt others. They are just living in a bubble as a pp said. Unfortunately, it will be all the harder for them when their bubble bursts in some way.

It is crass and self absorbed. No matter how hard some people work they will never achieve those things. I work in a well paid job; does anybody think I work harder than a SAHP with a profoundly disabled child? - I bloody don't.

She posts this sort of shit and I am desperate to write that it isn't down to HER hard work at all

She maybe is working harder than you think

There is an old saying, "If you marry a rich man, you'll end up earning every penny."

Also, please remember that a lot of people on Instagram are sent the products they flaunt in exchange for posting about them. They don't actually buy them themselves.

Just one pay cheque from it all going balls up for them. They have a lot more to lose than I do.

I never see this because I do not follow these people.

But honestly, I have a handbag collection to rival Kris Jenner but none of my insta followers would know this. It's so tacky to show everything off 🤮

"However a sahm of a high earning partner doesn't work harder and isn't any more deserving than a sahm whose partner earns very little or who is a lone parent. I think this always needs to be remembered!"

^^this! It really irritates me when SAHMs take credit for how much their partner earns. Like their hoovering skills are taken into account in his annual review.

Instead of these posters, if you really like looking at nice lifestyles, wardrobes etc I would recommend following someone like upcloseandstylish. Now SHE has a collection to be envious about but doesn't harp on about ooh so lucky/pinch myself/etc.