To think when people talk about how great being single is

[mulberryflowers]

They don’t mean in your late 30s. They are usually thinking back to early/mid twenties when lots of their friends were also single and there were people to go out on mad nights with and holiday with.

To me, being on your own at my age (37) is rubbish.

I'm 35. I wasn't single for most of my twenties. I did still have mad nights out though. I don't really now so much, and I've never been on holiday with friends. I love being single.

What do you think is rubbish about it?

I think they are lying 99% of the time

I'm 38 & single and I love it! I love not having to think about someone else (other than DD, but that's different!)

I'm 42 and single.

Most of the time I do prefer it. There are times when I wish things were different but hey ho.

It depends really. I was single in my 30s and really wanted to settle down and have a family (which I do now) so was pretty miserable at the thought that might not happen. Someone not keen on having kids, or who has already got them might not be in such a rush to get into a relationship and therefore enjoy their own space.

I was single until 36 (not counting boyfriends). I was lonely. I am very happily married now, although I recognise that things can change. I love being in a partnership.

I’m 37 and single. I LOVE it!

@greendale17 why would I/we lie about it? I love being able to concentrate on my kids, not have to compromise and not put up with someone else’s moods etc. I have my house how I like it, eat what the girls and I want, clean up when I want, make decisions on my own. It’s fab. I love being independent xx

I'm 39 & single & quite happy with that.

All my married/coupled up friends moan & whinge constantly about how shit their OH's are & can never do anything without having to run it by them get permission & bribe them to babysit their own kids first.

The rubbish thing is that as I'm the only single one & the aforementioned my social life isn't that great.

I'm 40 in December this year & trying to organise something has been that much of a hassle with people not willing to commit because their OH's work night out might be that night that I've cancelled the original plans for 10 of us & am planning on going away for the weekend with just my best friend.

So yeah I like being single but do wish I had another single friend to do stuff with 🤷🏼‍♀️

That's your experience OP, but not everyone's.

I've been single since my late thirties and have been happy with my choice to be single. I don't want a relationship at the moment.

If you want a relationship and you're single, then of course you will feel differently.

I was single for 4 years and recently got into a relationship and tbh it's not worth all the effort . I am considering the single life again . I enjoyed being single most of the time for reasons already mentioned by other posters. I'm 34 but I think it took me a good while to start to enjoy it and now I miss it . I guess the grass isn't always greener.

I'm single for the first time since I was 17 (21 year relationship, 18 months single with a few flings in between) and I am LOVING it. I didn't have that time in my teens/ twenties so i am making the most of it now.

I love I can make my own decisions, I love meeting new and interesting people. Yeah, sometimes its lonely, but on the whole its FAB!

I think regardless to the age you are when you are single, the key is how many people you have around you. If everyone else is coupled up and unavailable at weekends then being single could be very lonely. If you have a good family or friends to do things with sometimes then being single would be fine.

I think at the age of 40 I am on the verge of being single and sadly I will fall into the first camp. I intend to join some meet up groups to meet other people to do social.thinga with, but you can't really beat friends you have history with or a loving family

Believe you me, when you hit Single at 50 things take a turn for the (even) better. You suddenly realise that you're not as exhausted as your married friends are. People still hit on you. And I'm fat, as it happens.

You have time, the most precious of all things, to do exactly what you like and, crucially, you don't waste it being tired but you do museums and theatre and films and all that good stuff. You have lovely friends and real relationships with them - not just mom chat.

I'm newly (ish) singe at 39 and really happy about it.

Mind you, I'm comparing to a crap relationship. A good relationship might be lovely too!

I agree with a pp...when someone talks about how fabulous it is being single and lists all the ways they're just soooo glad they don't have an oh, I usually think they're lying and feel a little sorry for them. Not because they're single but because I suspect they're not happy with their relationship status.

Because, why would you go on about it? Why the need to talk about how wonderful it is? I don't go about talking about how wonderful it is to be married and how I'm so pleased I can do xyz which is only possible when you're married and so on.

It just sounds a bit like they're protesting too much.

I've been single for most of my adult life and I love it (am in my 50s). What you need is a hobby group that appeals to a range of ages, so there will be a variety of people to hang out with.

I have noticed that quite a few people seem to socialise only with people who are Just Like Them (same age group, same social class, same total lack of interests other than sleb culture and shopping) and only realise it's a problem when the majority of the social group moves in a different direction - or one member does, to the point they get left behind. EG someone gets made redundant and can't afford stuff, or a relationship breaks up and all the couples close ranks...

Lanaor you're talking about being child free...plenty of single people have dc...

I think like everything else it depends on context. When I was in my 30s I was happily married, had just had my DDs, thought it would be like that forever.

Fast forward to now - I'm 50, in the process of getting divorced so newly single in practice, and I love it. Marriage went to shit thanks to H's alcoholism. Being married to the guy he used to be was great. Being married to the guy he became - not so much.

Maybe when DDs have left home I will consider another relationship, but for now I am enjoying being single.

Being single is always better than being in a bad relationship. Spent years single and loved it but my very best freind was single to so that made a huge difference. Am dating a lovely man now. I do wonder why people stay in relationships when they are unhappy though.

Being child free and single in your 30's sounds bloody amazing.
My child free, single friends seem to have fantastic lives. I'm quite envious! I like being married but equally loved being single.

Do you not think it can be both good and bad?
There can be the odd day where I absolutely hate my job and hate working and wish I was a millionaire! But actually overall I am not lying when I say I enjoy / love my job overall.
Can it not be the same with being single? There might be the odd Sunday evening when you’re single and you think “hmm a partner would be nice now bc I’m a bit bored and lonely” but overall you are happy and satisfied with all other elements of your life. Why does it have to be one or the other consistently.

I’m not single but I am very independent and love my own time and see friends a lot. Bf adds a lot to my life but I have a life without him.

Being single has many many plus points. Pop over to the “relationships” board for a reminder of how shit being coupled up can actually be!

I have a friend who is 36 and hasn't had a LTR since her early twenties. She has confided to me that, although she's quite happy being single, she feels a lot of pressure to be posting on social media all the time about her hobbies, trips out etc to "prove" that she is has a full life and is enjoying herself. She feels this is a way to head off all the sympathetic head tilts and unsolicited comments about how she mustn't worry because "Mr right could be just around the corner".

I'm a single mum and I'm late 20s. Most of my friends are single and child free and they go out to parties, holidays etc and I can't join in because I have a child to look after.

I still love being single and I still love my life. By the time my friends are married and have kids mine will be grown up and out the house so I still won't have anyone to hang out with