To think when people talk about how great being single is

[mulberryflowers]

They don’t mean in your late 30s. They are usually thinking back to early/mid twenties when lots of their friends were also single and there were people to go out on mad nights with and holiday with.

To me, being on your own at my age (37) is rubbish.

no I am happy being single tbh. 53.

@ItIsUnnervinglyQuietInHere you make the mistake of presuming that single people don't have friends of different ages they do activities with.

Studies have shown for ages the happiest people tend to be single women and married men.

I do very little on my own - I have a large circle of friends - I do a lot with them - but I do actually like my own company - I've had 10 days here with no kids - I've had dinner with an old friend, ran twice with 2 other mates and been on my own for the rest of it - I've had a ball

I love being single most of the time ( mid thirties) but I would love to have someone to dream and plan with-building houses, travelling places I’d be too nervous to do alone with the kids etc.

41 Single with 1 DS

I have been single I would say my entire life, apart from the odd 1-2year relationship.

I'm just useless with men.

I will die single. I am sad as fuck about it to be honest.

BUT ..... I don't have any of the "relationship" shit my friends, colleagues & family have.

I am grateful for my DS, he rocks my entire world. But he will grow up of course.

I'm 54 and single...and have been since my late thirties. I'm not in any great rush to change things 😊

Been single a long time, late 30's and have had a couple of crappy relationships in that time.
It's swings and roundabouts for me, I do get lonely sometimes, and a year ago started to realise that another child was just not going to happen, for various reasons. That has taken some getting used to, that although I may meet a man who I'm happy and comfortable with for a fulfilling relationship no matter how old I am, I'm not going to get the chance to bring a baby into the world and a child up in those circumstances. I've done it once, with family support though no partner, and consider I'm very fortunate to have dd - but I always had a goal sort of, that I'd attain that family unit so to speak. Now because of my age, the fact there's no one remotely on the horizon and I'm not willing to leap in feet first and need time to establish a decent relationship first, it's unlikely to happen realistically.
But there are compensations, I only have myself and dd to consider, I'm not emotionally blackmailed into accepting things I don't want and I don't need to compromise about anything. Yes it's lonely, but it's fulfilling at the same time.
That said I don't need those who've got ltr etc automatically thinking I'm lying and protesting too much and feeling sorry for me. That's a bit condescending really. Some days my life is good and some days it's rubbish, much like anyone else's, married or single. The people I feel sorry for are the ones trapped in relationships like the ones I walked away from - they can really suffer in those yet put a perfect view of their lives on display for everyone else.

Thanks for your thoughts. I wonder if somethings wrong with me. I am not happy at all.

If people persist in seeing being single as a grind or something to be endured they aren't going to be happy I suppose.

I would actually hate anyone wanting to know where I was going or who I was seeing. I find that really really offputting.

I'm in my forties and single, have been through choice for about seven years. I've been married twice, I know 100% that for me, single is better. I often think that sometimes people who lament being single have probably not been married or lived with anyone previously so don't know what hard work and how shit it can be. I would never put myself through that again.

OP third week of being alone? I’m entering my 3rd decade (only the very beginning - single 22 years) and I love it. It isn’t a grind. I do sometimes wish I had someone about to do a together event spontaneously, but do you think people I. Couples don’t sometimes wish they could be alone?
Bluecarrot this bit of your problem travelling places I’d be too nervous to do alone with the kids etc is easily solved. Family Adventures/Explore Family holidays. I’ve been all over with DD.

I'm 44, single (got divorced 4 years ago) and childfree (by choice) and I wouldn't want it any other way.

For me the relentless grind was having someone else in my home & my bed. What I've got now is freedom. It's heaven. I don't talk about it much though, only in the context of threads like this!

I do know I'm lucky to have close family & amazing (also single / childfree) friends though. When I want company for something, they're there. Maybe I'd feel lonelier if that wasn't the case.

I am 49 and single. Married a long time but happier now than I was then. I have a lovely DS, great family, a good job, a comfortable home. I have great friends all over the world and travel lots with DS.

If I meet someone it will be someone that adds to a life I am already happy in. I was happily single before I was with exh ....

You haven’t spoken to anyone outside brief chats with colleagues in three decades then cardi? Ok then

Studies have shown for ages the happiest people tend to be single women and married men

That’s really interesting @BlueBug45

One of my friends is awful when she is single. She hates it.

Other friends have really grown and developed and healed whilst single after bad relationships.

I don’t really have any friends who are long term single and really happy and wanting to stay that way if you see what I mean? Some are happy with being single as in they don’t want a shit relationship, but they hope a good one will come along eventually.

I’m with a long term partner - but if I broke up with him I don’t think I would be really looking for another relationship. We are quite separate in our lives anyway and people would think it an odd relationship, and he’s the only person I’ve ever really liked to have a relationship with.

I don’t think it’s healthy to ‘hate’ being single, but most people hope for a good quality relationship I think?

Also if you’re long term single in your 30s and really wanting children, that must be hard.

Or you see your friends all buying a flat in Lomdon because they have two incomes and you only have one. That’s hard too. Or couples renting a one bed flat but you have to flat share.

I was single until I met DP at 35 and I loved it. I am happy now with him and two DC, but I do miss the carefree days when I could do what I liked; go out all the time; go to a spa; go on holiday or away for the weekend; lie in; live on crisps and houmous if I felt like it... I definitely enjoyed it and meant it when I said it.

If you aren't enjoying it, maybe look at why not/what you'd like to change that you can control until you meet someone?

I’m 37 and single and quite happily so. It suits me much better.

I think they are lying 99% of the time

Well, I must be the remaining 1% then. I love it. What's not to love?

I'm 54 and have been single for coming up to a year. I love it. But then again,after 4.5 years of shit from my ex,I suppose it WOULD be a relief. One thing I know for sure,he has put me off getting involved with anyone ever again.

I think it depends on whether you want children. If you want kids, it can be heartbreaking being single in your 30s.
Otherwise, it can be wonderful and exciting!
I met DH at 33. From 30-33 I was unhappy and worried about not having kids

I am 38 and a lone parent to DD4 and have never been happier; do as i please, have wonderful friends and family and complete freedom. I've previously done 10 years marriage and can honestly say never again.