Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

I'm not sure if it's been mentioned upthread and it doesn't make any difference as Softzilla is clearly batshit crazy, but.... roughly how old is she??

If SZ is mentally ill, then this is not over. If she is rational and understands self preservation, then she'll stop now.
That's the problem with the system for dealing with stalking: it requires the stalker to respond to reason, and if they were able to do that, then they wouldn't be stalking in the first place.

Good morning! It was a good play date. Her kids were lovely to mine. We ended up having a bbq, late night and rather a bit of wine.
Our current thought is that I will go late to group next Friday, she will let me know if softzilla turns up so I can decide not to go if she does. She will ban her if she makes any push to talk to me.
I'd guess softzilla at mid to late 30s? Does that matter?

Fiesta is right in that I don't want to make a scene at a children's group and that wouldn't be right.

Glad it went well Unreasonableness As another poster said, a silver lining.

Unreasonable
Glad you had a lovely time with new friend and the kids.

Just remember you arent making any scenes. Sz doesnt get to chose who attends the group. She doesnt get to bully people out the group. You have every right to take your child there too. Dont let her see she is intimidating you and making you stay away.
Have a good weekend and try to forget about her.

I think that’s a perfect solution Unreasonable I do get the idea of avoiding creating further antagonism by avoiding places where it’s known she might be, but it’s not your fault this, and why should you lose your social life/network because of SZ.

Without the support of the leader, and your friends you’d have had very little option though.

SZ isn’t rational, there are clearly reasons for her behaviour but nothing anyone can do anything about. None of that gives her carte blanche to harass you like this.

Out of interest how do you set up this blocking with daily text round up of attempted contact?

Glad the play date went well.

OP, you have handled this really well. And so good that the group leader is a new pal. Totally deserved.

You need a holiday away. A proper out of town for a fortnight holiday.

That’s really good that you have the support of the group leader. What about the other friends that are there? Have they been supportive?
You have done brilliantly, I do hope that she calms down now but please be careful. If she is not unwell then it is unlikely that her behaviour improves.

Glad you have playgroup leader on side. Have you checked your round up message for SZ's attempts to contact you? Hoping she's been scared off now.

Unreasonableunreasonableness has SZ tried to contact you since the text when the police came to see her?

I had a stalker once!
Anyway. Nightmare.
Don’t let her bully you out of your routine and friendships

Glad you have made a new friend OP. SZ is bonkers to have continued despite the police contacting her.

I hope this is sorted soon. I have been in a similar situation with a school mum and she was batshit crazy.

I suppose when I asked her age I just wondered if any of this could be explained even a tiny bit by her being extremely young/immature - clearly not at that age! I would be surprised if she hasn’t done this before to another victim.

At least you have a plan. And the group leader is being very supportive. It can’t be often she has had to deal with situations like this!

Please remember you wouldn’t be the one making the scene. Rather going about your daily business. I’m glad you’ve made a new friend.

Sorry I disagree. I think the group leader has proposed a "solution" which gives sz the upper hand.

Are you SURE they aren't pally op?

Why should YOU be the one not going to group if she's there?

Harassment going on for months, creating tension at a children's group, bordering if not actual stalker behaviour and STILL not banned? Wtf?!

I think you may be well advised to find out if group leader and sz are related/friends.

This sounds like a charm offensive used to manage you out of the group.

Your decision whether to allow that to happen but I just thought you should be aware that might be the case.

Any way you can find out if group leader has had a cosy afternoon with sz too?

PLEASE don't assume group leader is "on side" because I for one am not convinced. I've come across situations like this and been burnt myself - by trusting people in a similar position to the group leader only to learn the equivalents of group leader and sz were good friends but I wasn't aware.

I would get to group early so that you are there before SZarrives (should she be daft enough to go).
I wouldn't be out off going if she is there- you have as much right to be threre as her, and you can be sure that she will be spreading tales of your unreasonableness

What Breakfast says too (and another reason to be suspicious of group leaders actions).

Interesting take from Graphite. I’m not a devious personality so that would never occur to me. Perhaps take heed of this and do as Breakfast has suggested. There is no reason for you to stay away and many posters agree.

They are probably looking for someone to be nearby so you can keep an eye on their DC while they go for a shag in the woods foraging.

Opps! wrong thread!

I also agree with getting there early/when you normally would. You’ve done nothing wrong, why should you arrive late? I’m a bit confused as to why she hasn’t been banned tbh; the police have been involved!