Help!!! Sleep deprived mum

[Sotired13]

Sorry posting here for traffic!! My 6 month old daughter wakes continually through the night. She’s even started waking 45 mins after being put down. I go in and soothe her with her dummy which works but then I have to do it continually through the whole night. Is this normal?! When does sleep get better? Do other parents struggle with the lack of sleep? It’s getting me so anxious

Should add... she naps for an hour in the morning and nearly two in the afternoon... is this ok???

www.isisonline.org.uk

Look at the link (it’s about sleep, not terrorism ). It’s compleyely normal.

Hi Sotired, didn't wan to read and run. Unfortunately this sounds pretty normal to me. My daughter woke every 45 mins for about 7 months. Neither of my children started sleeping through the night until they'd been fully weaned. Neither of mine would take a dummy so I can't help there but tbh I just co-slept for as long as I needed to to save my sanity. Sleep deprivation is the hardest thing ever. There is a reason it is literally used as a torture method. So, don't feel bad, This stage will definitely pass, do whatever you need to get through it and don't worry this is very normal.

My 6 month old naps about every 2 hours through the day for between 30 mins to a couple of hours. He does wake up in the night for feeds still. He goes to bed 7 or 8 ish, usually wakes up 2-3 times for a feed in the night and wakes up for the day between 6 and 7. How often is your baby waking in the night?

Thanks so much for the replies!!! It’s just nice to hear it’s normal. I feel like I’m loosing my mind here. My DD goes to bed at 7.30 and gets up at 7am ... she doesn’t feed in the night but stirs continuously. She has 5 bottles of expressed milk 8oz in the day. I’m weaning her next week. She used to sleep from 9-5 up until 3 months then it’s all changed. I don’t know what the stirring is about after 45 mins ... in fairness she does settle when I go in but it’s the continued broken sleep that’s breaking me. Sorry for the rant. Just feel so alone with this. My anxiety is through the roof thinking it will never end

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression. You were extremely lucky to have 9-5 sleep first three months so it's going to feel hard going from that to lots of wake ups despite it being very normal. My son is 2.5 years and has never slept for that long a stretch! But he only wakes up once now whereas it was typically 5/6 times a night for first 18 months or so.

Sleep isn't linear though and first year is typically unsettled/changeable. It will pass, eventually.

OP- it will be her loosing the dummy that I'm sure is causing the issues. I was on verge of nervous breakdown/ spending fortune on sleep trainer when I tried a few various things including a padded sleep suit so she couldn't thrash about and wake herself up (let me know if you want link) and 1 of these utter miracles - it totally does the trick:

www.amazon.co.uk/Sleepytot-SLE-SM-C-Bunny/dp/B001FXDUB2?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Mine was the same. She hit 4 months and her brain invented sleep cycles of 40 minutes and boom, bye bye well-rested mama. I've just started Ferber and cosleeping to try and teach her to self-settle. Nightmare first evening before I came to bed, ok in the night, good nap today where she didn't need to be cuddled to stay asleep. Oooof.

6 months is quite young not to be having milk at night. Could you try giving her a bottle in case she is hungry or thirsty? Other than that, frequent night wakings are normal at this age albeit knackering for you!

I promise you are not alone. A baby that slept through at this age would be a lot more unusual. I'm currently pregnant with number 3 and th sleep deprivation is the thing I'm dreading most. Mine othe two are now 2 and 4 and are brilliant sleepers. I promise this won't be forever.

I think she needs milk in the night. Six months is very young to not feed at night. It’s probably one of the reasons she wakes up.

You will get people who come on and say “my baby didn’t feed at night from 2 weeks/three months etc.” And yup, some babies are ready of course - the ones that sleep through. Which your daughter doesn’t.

It’s an easy fix though that might help massively.

But otherwise, her nap pattern sounds within normal. And her sleep whilst soul destroying for you, is also normal.

Sorry

I got Mum Night Glow dummies, they glow in the dark. I put 4-5 in the cot and both my DD and DS learnt to find them in the dark, so it was a life saver. It seems that your baby has 45min sleep cycle, so when he gets into the light sleep, he realises he has not go the dummy and wakes up? They usually need to fall asleep with whichever technique / comfort object they are used to. With my DD was being carried around and my back was hurting mad by 9 months. With DS we bought a white noise"Homemedics white noise Egg" and a battery charger, we had the waves on all night and helped us all!

Thank you so much for the replies!!! I’m reading and taking note of each one. With regards to feeding ... I did think about this but she can’t be hungry after 45 mins or 2 hours? She isn’t that kind of baby. She also has 5x8oz bottles in the day which I think is quite a lot. Also she doesn’t scream for food (she usually lets me know 😂) ... she just stirs continuously

Also, could you give her (I've just realised I posted "him" before, sorry) a bottle of expressed milk when you go to sleep? None of mine had an 8oz bottle at that age, probably more like 5oz and more often. Check guidelines about how much they should eat but 5 day feeds sounds a bit restrictive and too much in one go, in my very limited and personal experience

No advice as we are in the same situation with our 9 month old. He does have 2 bottles in the night of 5oz but still wakes up every 45mins to 1hr45mins. He is a dummy refuser though. The broken sleep is a killer. You have my sympathies! Everyone I moan talk to says that it will get better

As a PP said 8oz is quite a large bottle - rather than adding more milk maybe try spreading them out a little? So, two of the 8oz bottles become 3x 5/6 oz instead?

At that age, whatever they use to fall asleep they need every time they wake up. So if she falls asleep on you / with you in the room / with a dummy etc that's what she'll need. You need to figure out what her sleep crutch is and then work on helping her sleep without it. Easier said than done!

Thank you for your responses. I’m even more confused now 🙈🙈. She takes her 8oz bottles 5 times a day ... I know it’s expressed milk but the formula companies suggest 7-8oz at this age?

I guess I could feed her overnight but seems strange to go “backwards” with this if she isn’t crying out for food. Will give it some thought though!

Personally I think a 6 month old still needs milk at night. I would try anything to get more sleep though!

Self settling is the key to linking 45min sleep cycles - sleep help websites give ideas on how to help your baby do this, white noise, blackout, etc

Milk at night. I'd give her a feed at 10 or 11pm.

7-8 oz is the top end of what is suggested by formula companies, yes. But it’s still a very large bottle - and 40oz a lot of volume in a much shorter winter than the 24 hours window that their amounts are based on.

My baby was combination fed donor breast milk and formula under the guidance of a paediatrician as I have a problem with my breast tissue that meant I couldn’t produce enough milk no matter how hard we tried. He had me follow the Great Ormandy st. Amounts which is 150ml per KG. The NHS website recomends 150-200 ml per KG. Which is less than recommended by formula companies. Wonder if it’s because They are out to make money?! Haha

If she’s drinking all her milk, then no worries - just see if spacing it out a bit more than 40oz in 12 hours helps. 40oz over say, 16 hours might help her sleep longer as she could be getting hungry during those 12 hours she’s not being fed.

Much sympathy OP! In the same boat with a non sleeping 6 month old. It feels like DS started off well with sleep and has just got progressively worse. In the early months I used to have a bit of an evening as he did a 4 hour stretch, but that turned to 3...and now I'm lucky if he does 45 mins before waking most nights!

I have been through this before with DD (who was also a sleep thief) so logically I know it's normal and won't last. Although with DD is lasted till she was 2.6 so that doesn't fill me with hope!

I'm SO tired ALL the time. I've been making so many simple mistakes and am very clumsy, it worries me that I'll end up crashing the car or burning the house down. Three years of sleep deprivation has to take its toll I guess...

So no advice sorry, but much solidarity!

Op if you think how many times a day you have a snack, meal, drink, sip of water etc (maybe even sip of water at night time) it's probably more than the five times your baby is currently eating. Many babies feed frequently at this age even through the night. They also find milk comforting and soothing. I think the whole night is a long time for a 6mo to go without milk. I would try a bottle for one of the wake ups and see what happens.