Help!!! Sleep deprived mum

[Sotired13]

Sorry posting here for traffic!! My 6 month old daughter wakes continually through the night. She’s even started waking 45 mins after being put down. I go in and soothe her with her dummy which works but then I have to do it continually through the whole night. Is this normal?! When does sleep get better? Do other parents struggle with the lack of sleep? It’s getting me so anxious

Does she seem over tired in the day? My 7.5 month old can still only stay awake for 2 hours max. I notice when he doesn't have enough his night time sleep is worse.

Breast milk is easier to digest than formula so it may well be that your daughter is hungry. My 5 month old still feeds every 1.5 to 2 hours throughout the day but then sleeps 7pm to 4am, has a feed then sleeps until 7.I don't even think about it if he wakes earlier I just feed him.

Thanks again for all replies. She naps really well in the day ... so doesn’t show she’s overly tired. She has a solid 8.30am-10am nap and then a 1.30-3pm.

I understand what some people are saying about feeding through the night. I guess I just read somewhere that baby’s at 6 months don’t need to feed in the night. I’m a FTM so all new to me.

She might just need some help learning to re settle herself through the night when she's old enough. I did some sleep training a few weeks back and he sleeps much better through the night now.

I know OP, you read all sorts of things about when babies stop needing feeds overnight, but I think it's important to go by how your own baby is, rather than what you feel you 'should' be doing. Once you let go of the 'shoulds' things get a lot easier!

@Sotired13 If your baby isn't asking for milk in the night then she doesn't need milk in the night. Sorry, but it's just nonsense to suggest that ALL 6 month olds need milk in the night and the idea of artificially introducing when she's not asking for it it is utter madness imo. You know when your baby is hungry. If she is, feed her. If not, don't.

Focus on her sleep environment. Get a blackout blind, white noise, give her a comforter of some kind that she can start to associate with sleep (mine has a muslin as they're breathable) and teach her to go down drowsy but awake. If she's needing her dummy to resettle at night, work on getting rid of it (google will bring up tons of suggested methods, from cold turkey to slow and steady).

@bannanarama12 thank you. What type of sleep training did you do?

She’s stirring
Let her be
Let her wriggle and cry for a bit
She’s getting used to you popping in at very frequent intervals throughout the night. That is going to be a tough habit to break if you’re not careful.

Let her cry for a few minutes. I think she’ll dose back off

Doze

@peachgreen thanks for this. I’m sure she’s not hungry because she sure let’s me know when she is 😂! We do the white noise and blackout. I’ve tried getting rid of the dummy but she just cries and I can’t bare to let her cry it out ... I’m hoping that in a few more weeks she might just be able to find it herself. Or maybe I should persevere with no dummy 🤔🙈

Her naps are brill
I would not tinker with them

@kikidelivers I am worried I will cause her to rely on this. I’ve tried to leave her and so far made it to 3 mins but she just gets louder and louder 😢

There are gentler methods of getting rid of the dummy (like removing it just before she falls asleep, earlier and earlier each night) - maybe try and find one of those? If not, try scattering lots of dummies in the cot so there's always one nearby - the glow in the dark ones are good - and practice her replacing it herself during the day.

I also agree with a PP not to go in unless she's upset - my daughter wakes up a couple of times a night and will chat to herself for a bit as she goes back to sleep - we only go in if she gets distressed (again, you can tell if your baby is upset or just having a bit of a shout!).

Haven’t RTFT but is it an issue that she can’t find the dummy by herself?

With my second, I bought a “dummy bunny” which was a soft toy with loops on it’s feet & hands. I left it in the cot with her & it worked a charm.

I probably got it from Amazon.

And she will
But it will die down, I promise.
May go on for a few nights.
But then peace and your daughter will be getting a full unbroken night sleep, wonderful for her development and for your sanity!

Kiki agree broken sleep can be exhausting for parents, but re the babies themselves there is no evidence that they need unbroken sleep themselves for their development - it is very normal for babies to wake frequently through the night and being easily roused actually prevents against SIDS.

@bbqseason Absolutely - but it's better for a baby to be able to contentedly settle themselves back to sleep after waking than having to cry to be comforted several times a night.

I tried controlled crying. The first night he whinged with a few cries here and there for about 40 minutes. I never left him longer than 3 minutes because I wasn't comfortable with that. I went in and settled him by shushing and stroking his head.
Since that first night it's never taken him longer than 5 minutes to get himself to sleep and now I can just shush a few times and leave the room.
He still has feeds twice a night and I do have to pop his dummy back in sometimes but it is so much better than before I really don't mind.
I really hope you get some sleep soon!

Have you tried co sleeping? It worked for us.

BBQ

So so so many studies have been done. So much research, I could bombard you with links.

This one encapsulates quite a bit
www.snuza.com/sleep-brain-development-children-early-development/

Kiki obviously Sleep is important but there is no evidence that unbroken Sleep is important** in babies. That link you posted (from a website selling baby monitors) cited some research generally talking about brain development and saying sleep is important. No one is saying otherwise. It doesn't mention frequent wakings. That's because they are normal. Babies have different sleep cycles to adults, and normal frequent wakings doesn't affect their sleep quality.

This is a good article about normal infant sleep.

Just going to have to differ in opinion then! Beauty of mumsnet

OP, it will get better, no matter how you handle it.
The question is do you want a quick solution or drawn out?

Thanks again for everyone’s responses. Some real food for thought. I wouldn’t go back into her if she was just chatting to herself but she doesn’t do this. She wakes up with a grizzle but within about 1 minute this has gone into a full blown cry... it’s like a “I need you mummy” cry. So of course I go in. I am tempted to just go back in and pat her then leave again and time 2 minutes and then go back in and pat her again ... and so forth! Her personality is quite headstrong even at this age so I’m not sure this would work 😬😬.

@peachgreen The dummy situation is a worry because I don’t use it during the day so I don’t have the time to teach her to hold it etc ... 🤦‍♀️

@petitprince I am tempted but was hoping to move her into her own room soon 🙈

Sotired, my children only used it at night in the cot. We had glow in the dark ones, they learnt to reach them by themselves. I put a few in the cot so even if they threw one out, there were at least a couple more around.

@Larrythecat thank you. I might start handing her it at night to try and put in herself from now on ... and then get glow in the dark ones!