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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to drive DPs car?

96 replies

Pomegranate6 · 31/05/2018 12:30

DP has a meeting in London today. He's parked at ASDA and the meeting has gone on longer than expected. He's phoned me and asked me to drive his car to a different car park so he doesn't get a ticket.

I've said no. My reasons being:
a) I drive an automatic, have only been driving for a year and don't feel comfortable reverting back to manual after so long of not driving one
b) I'm not insured on his car so could end up in trouble for driving it if I did for some reason get pulled over. I work in law enforcement and would also likely lose my job.
c) his car is falling apart and it's likely it's going to conk out any day. Imagine it breaking down and me having to explain why I'm driving it with no license.

Apparently because I've said no, it's my fault he's likely going to get a ticket.

AIBU to refuse to drive his car and think that if he gets a ticket that's his problem?

OP posts:

viques · 31/05/2018 13:43

If you broke down they wouldn't ask for a licence, butif it was in a dangerous place the police might attend, and then they might ask if you had breakdown cover, and then they might ask if it was your car, and whose car it was, if you had permission to drive it , if you were insured .

The bottom line is you are not happy to drive it , are probably not insured and no, it isn't your fault.

Original poster

Pomegranate6 · 31/05/2018 13:44

@Kursk surely if you were a team he wouldn't ask you to break the law for him and put other road users at risk over a £50 fine then?

OP posts:

DadDadDad · 31/05/2018 13:45

Kursk - my wife and I are a team, but if I pointed out to her I'd have to break the law to do something for her, she wouldn't insist because she wouldn't want to put me in that position (or risk the "team" having to pay the penalty of being caught).

RainySeptember · 31/05/2018 13:47

At our Asda it's free for two hours but you can pay to stay longer. Can you go and pay?

Or could you go in and say you've just done the weekly shop but now want a coffee in the cafe, and are worried you'll go over. They'll just give your reg number to the employee with the job of policing the car park, that's what happened when I did that at Morrison's anyway.

DadDadDad · 31/05/2018 13:48

Or what Pomegranate said...

Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 31/05/2018 13:56

Does your DP know that he would also be committing an offense if he permits you to drive his car when you are not insured?

I haven’t checked this but it was certainly the case some years ago as it happened to two friends of mine. They both got 11 penalty points and the same (large) fine.

DGRossetti · 31/05/2018 14:19

Maybe he could contact ASDA before getting a penalty and try some sort of sob-story with them ? No downside and might just pull it off ?

DadDadDad · 01/06/2018 17:44

@Pomegranate6 - so what happened in the end? I hope you sorted it.

Eliza9917 · 01/06/2018 17:48

YABU to not have a multi-car policy. It's cheaper and prevents problems like this. What do you do if one car is off the road?

MyKingdomForBrie · 01/06/2018 18:11

kursk that’s unbelievably irresponsible in the circs. OP has stated she has no insurance to drive the car.

Kursk · 01/06/2018 18:22

MyKingdomForBrie

Yes it is but needs must.

DadDadDad · 01/06/2018 18:31

needs must

I'm not sure that helps. The whole debate of this thread is whether the need to avoid a parking charge trumps the need to obey the law. The law exists to protect us from irresponsible drivers, so I'm on the side of "needs must NOT drive the car".

Bibesia · 01/06/2018 18:53

Can you get over there and pay for another parking ticket?

kaytee87 · 01/06/2018 18:56

a) I drive an automatic, have only been driving for a year and don't feel comfortable reverting back to manual after so long of not driving one
b) I'm not insured on his car so could end up in trouble for driving it if I did for some reason get pulled over. I work in law enforcement and would also likely lose my job.
c) his car is falling apart and it's likely it's going to conk out any day. Imagine it breaking down and me having to explain why I'm driving it with no license.

It's probably a mistake to lose all skill in driving a manual, it might be good practice.
Do you not both have fully comp insurance meaning you'd be third party, fire & theft on his?
How would you be driving with no license?

NeeChee · 01/06/2018 19:05

YABU to not have a multi-car policy. It's cheaper and prevents problems like this. What do you do if one car is off the road?

It's not always cheaper for everyone. I did some quotes recently, and single policies were quite a bit cheaper for us.
We are both named drivers on each others policies though, so we can each drive both cars fully comp.

polsha · 01/06/2018 19:10

YABU to not have a multi-car policy. It's cheaper and prevents problems like this.

You don't need a multi car policy to prevent problems like this. You just need to be named drivers on each other's policies. That's the way DH and I do it, it's cheaper than the multi car option for us.

DadDadDad · 01/06/2018 19:23

Sorry, OP, I seem to have triggered a rerun of yesterday's debate! Advice is probably a bit late now....

Charley50 · 01/06/2018 19:24

As a newer driver my insurance is much cheaper with my dp on it. He had mine on his and it is sightly cheaper.
What was the outcome op?

reddington · 01/06/2018 21:16

Some policies expressly exclude cars owned by spouses from the driving other cars extension.

MiggeldyHiggins · 02/06/2018 11:33

Do you not both have fully comp insurance meaning you'd be third party, fire & theft on his?

Can people stop saying this? It's by no means accurate in all cases.

Medea13 · 02/06/2018 12:18

Late to this party but there are companies like Cuvva that allow you to buy insurance for a specific vehicle by the hour/day, designed for if you needed to borrow a mate's car or something. Usually about a tenner for an hour/maybe 25 quid for 3 hours. And so on.

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