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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with being called a lesbian when im not one.

78 replies

Mummyduck10 · 31/05/2018 10:57

I see my best friend of 10 years very regularly about 3 times a week we have always been very close we also talk on the phone almost every day my dh and her partner are also good friends as are our children.

Any day that I plan to see my friend my dh always comes out with a ridiculous comment like "Are you going to see your lesbian lover?" Or "What are you two sissor sisters going today? Going to sissor each other?"

I know he's joking but I dont really find it funny and I'm starting to think he is jealous of our friendship although I'm not really sure why as me and dh usually get on well.

I've nothing against any lgb person but I didn't just go through a year of stress to plan my wedding to a man to be called a lesbian by my own husband whether he's joking or not its getting old now but actually wasn't that funny to begin with. He will make a joke at every opportunity he gets whether we see lesbians on the street or on the telly you can bet he will come out with some dig.

Aibu to tell him to fuck off and stop being so jealous and childish?

OP posts:
LionAllMessy · 31/05/2018 12:21

Everytime my DH sees a man one of us makes a gay lover joke and every time I see a woman we make the same joke

Every time?? That must be really exhausting when you're out in public.

LionAllMessy · 31/05/2018 12:23

It does sound as if you'd prefer he had no sense of humour (even offensive) or personality at all so I'd recommend splitting up.

TBF, no sense of humor is definitely preferable to a repetitive, childish, offensive "sense of humor".

IIIustriousIyIIlogical · 31/05/2018 12:27

I don't think two heterosexual people making jokes about gay lovers is remotely funny, and is actually offensive.

Stick,
Arse,
Remove

and Relax.....

TheChampagneGalop · 31/05/2018 12:35

YANBU in this case. Your husband is basically sexually harassing you because you have a good female friend.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 31/05/2018 12:42

IIIustriousIyIIlogical Yeah, it’s really uptight isn’t it to object to somebody’s sexuality, one that has for centuries put somebody at risk of discrimination and to this day risks them killed for it, being used a joke. Honestly, everyone is so PC these days, am I right?

TheBogWitchIsBack · 31/05/2018 12:45

t does sound as if you'd prefer he had no sense of humour (even offensive) or personality at all so I'd recommend splitting up.

Ffs having a sense of humour is one thing but constant repetitive nonsense like this ceases to be funny after the first few times.

I don't know anyone who'd find that shit funny.

Motoko · 31/05/2018 12:49

I'd put money on him fancying your friend, and he has a little fantasy going in his head with the 3 of you having a threesome.

Sounds like you've only just got married. How long have these "jokes" been going on for?

expatinspain · 31/05/2018 12:50

It's annoying and you need to call him on it until he stops, by LTB?! Jeez. That's thrown around too easily on here sometimes. If we all left our partners every time they did/said something we found irritating, there'd be hardly anyone in a relationship!

JessicaEccles · 31/05/2018 12:57

Honestly, everyone is so PC these days, am I right?

Exactly.

perhaps the poster can explain what is so 'hilarious' about being gay....

pigmcpigface · 31/05/2018 13:06

He's either pathetic or he's threatened by this relationship. Either way, his sense of humour leaves much to be desired- nothing worse than someone who keeps making a stupid, very obvious joke over and over and over again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/05/2018 13:12

My god, it’s got nothing to do with political correctness. It’s demeaning. A subtle way of trying to get op to toe a line.

IIIustriousIyIIlogical · 31/05/2018 13:18

Honestly, everyone is so PC these days, am I right?

Whatever.

2 people sharing a joke solely between them - yes, I think you're being uptight.

It's a situation where nobody can possibly be offended, because they don't know it's even been said.

Even you can't get offended by 2 people saying something between themselves where no one else is present.

But you're trying soooo hard to......

EleanorHooverbelt · 31/05/2018 13:25

He sounds jealous of your friendship and this is his best shot at trying to undermine you and spoilt it for you.

Every time he does it say something like:-

"The more I hear from you, the more I enjoy my friend's company. I wonder why?"

"You haven't got what it takes to be a comedian. Don't give up your day job."

"You seem obsessed with homosexuality for some reason. Is there something you need to tell me?"

Lemonnaise · 31/05/2018 14:25

Confused Christ almighty, it's not even remotely funny.

You need to tell him to shut the eff up or get the eff out.

Lacucuracha · 31/05/2018 14:37

If my DH thought he could make racist or homophobic jokes to me because it was just the two of us and no one else would ever know, I would tell him where to go.

Non-bigots tend not to enjoy hearing offensive jokes, regardless of who is making them.

If you enjoy hearing that shit then there's something not right with you.

SimonBridges · 31/05/2018 14:43

Does he claim it’s ‘banter’?
That is the usual defence from an unfunny dick.

HopeClearwater · 31/05/2018 16:06

I didn't just go through a year of stress to plan my wedding

I don’t get this. Why a year of stress?

IIIustriousIyIIlogical · 31/05/2018 16:15

If you enjoy hearing that shit then there's something not right with you.

LOL, cheers for that concise analysis love. Grin

Lacucuracha · 31/05/2018 16:17

Ah, there's the patronising 'love'.

A sure sign that that someone has lost the argument.

peachgreen · 31/05/2018 16:57

@IIIustriousIyIIlogical Can you explain what's funny about it?

Original poster
Mummyduck10 · 31/05/2018 17:07

Last year was stressful as I mentioned I can be a bit anxious at times so i was wracked with nerves the second we booked our venue a few family members fell out my dd was being tested for IS 8t was just a really tough year on the whole. That's all I meant by that.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 31/05/2018 17:16

IllustriouslyIllogical. One person, i.e the OP's DH, is coming out with stupid things that he thinks are funny. The OP doesn't share he idea of 'humour' and is upset by his remarks.

How is that two people sharing a joke together?

velourvoyageur · 31/05/2018 17:29

What are you two sissor sisters going today?

Is it just me who finds this hilarious?
(I am gay btw I can say this & also am not making light of your frustration OP)

But yeah he's embarrassing himself, sounds like he needs some LGB friends to 'de-exoticise' non-straightness in his mind.
Think some people just don't realise when a joke doesn't have any traction and think it's some sort of inside joke when it's never been one. Is he generally a bit socially awkward and slower to pick up on cues?

Motoko · 31/05/2018 17:39

"Hilarious"? What's hilarious about it?

velourvoyageur · 31/05/2018 18:19

I think it's the humour that does it, Motoko, HTH.

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