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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to be sterilized...

90 replies

TotoroSakura · 31/05/2018 00:15

Just that really, got two gorgeous children, am 36 this year, had three MC, don't get on with hormonal contraception... had a coil fitted as part of an op to sort out the MCs and hated that... Am on antidepressants following most recent pregnancy as have really difficult pregnancies and am shit at giving birth... I am done and yet GP said no to sterilisation... suggested DH gets the snip which is all well and good but I want to be responsible for my own birth control, and if god forbid we split, I know I'm done with the two gorgeous kids I have... he may want more, which is fine, he's not the one who has to be pregnant, or give birth and all the shit that goes with that... (if your me, I know some women have fabulous pregnancies and births.... ) anyway, sorry for rambling but aibu?

OP posts:

Verdad · 01/06/2018 02:23

if they're prepared to give him the snip then they are just blatantly discriminating against you? It's like women are walking wombs to them, so frustrating.

Don't be absurd. It's not Gilead. Sterilisation is a far more serious operation than a vasectomy, which can be reversed. It is far riskier to a woman's health and cannot be undone.

Grasslands · 01/06/2018 02:29

All hormonal contraceptives have a list of potential complications the length of my arm; most notably blood clots and stroke.
Although a TL, involves an anaesthetic. The risk is a one time event, vs daily.
Going for regular prescriptions is also a waste of NHS time and resources.

Verdad · 01/06/2018 07:33

I meant condoms. And pay for them.

differentnameforthis · 01/06/2018 09:42

Most women know when their family is complete. After that they use contraception ... I meant condoms. And pay for them. There is actually no good reason why a woman can't be sterilized. It isn't that invasive anymore (speaking from experience).

And condoms aren't actually 100% effective either. And people have allergies to them too.

Verdad · 01/06/2018 10:15

It's not a medical necessity though, is it? It's a preference.

JacquesHammer · 01/06/2018 13:26

It's not a medical necessity though, is it? It's a preference

For some people yes. It still doesn’t mean we get them and means we’re unable to access other treatment as a result.

Chesntoots · 01/06/2018 13:43

I've posted about this before so won't go in again, but I have never wanted children and never been so much as a tiny bit broody. It has taken me to the age of 44 and a serious bitch face before anyone would agree to do it.

Meanwhile I've put up with 30 years of crippling periods that nobody seemed to much care about.

It's shocking the way some women are treated and if I was not as assertive as I am then I would still be waiting (and bleeding continuously since last June...)

Grasslands · 01/06/2018 16:29

Condoms really?? Pathetic primitive insensitive to a real fear of another pregnancy.

LighthouseSouth · 01/06/2018 17:50

Verdad sometimes it is a medical necessity.

I do hope you also realise IVF is not a medical necessity.

Verdad · 01/06/2018 18:20

Of course IVF isn't a medical necessity, which is why the NHS limits it.

differentnameforthis · 02/06/2018 02:50

It's a preference Well you could say that about most things, really. It boils down to having a choice to choose that preference.

NotARegularPenguin · 02/06/2018 06:46

Sterilisation will still cost the state less than an unwanted pregnancy.

There’s very good arguments for not wanting to pump yourself of hormones for years. Yes, you could argue well use condoms but again there’s still a risk of pregnancy due to condom failure and that goes back to how much will either an abortion or 18 years of child tax credits cost the state.

Donthugmeimscared · 02/06/2018 08:34

I was sterilized at 29 after my third was born so 7 years ago. They didn't want me too and told me that I would regret it if all my children were killed in a car crash or something. I pointed out that they wernt something you just replaced . Eventually I managed to get it done and the day after the op my Dr called to say it had been turned down by again so technically I should never have had it done.

They made me feel like I didn't know my own mind through the whole process. I never wanted three children (wouldn't change it now) but had three due to a contraception failure (coil) and was scared to even have sex in case it happened again. They told me that I would get broody and change my mind, that if I had a new relationship I would suddenly want 4. They wouldn't believe me that I didn't and it was just wrong. I was lucky that a mix up meant I could or I feel that I would still be fighting to this day

memememe · 02/06/2018 09:17

i was sterilised 6 years ago at age 32, id really ask you to think it through and try other options if you can. i have 3 children and was adamant i did not want any more, now approaching 40 i do want another one.

also im having to take the pill as well as i had the most horrendous heavy periods after i was sterilized. i couldn't leave the house for 10 days every 3 weeks, it was a complete nightmare. the pain and the amount of blood i would never have thought possible. its very common ive been told. so please try a coil or the pill or something else.

wowbutter · 02/06/2018 16:35

I've just been sterilised, I'm a lot younger than you, two children and done on the nhs. Go back to your gp.

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