To feel shaken about this driving incident?

[Art3misZeee]

So, I’m a relatively new driver (R). Passed my test and had a gap of five months before getting my car (production error).

I’m still learning, I make stupid mistakes sometimes but I learn from them. Though this one really got me.

Was on the way back from dropping the kids off at specialist unit daycare on the left on a two lane one way road, not busy but there’s a huge truck in front of me that stopped suddenly and switched the hazard lights on.

Ok, I break but I’m a little close to the truck, reverse a little because the road is so narrow and hard to get around even more so with the size of the truck. Indicate right to go around truck, inches out a little and do all checks, fine and as I’m half way round truck the only other car who is a white Audi and a good bit away speeded up as soon as he saw me in order to not let me pass first.

This didn’t exactly work because if I accelerated to get around quicker I would have hit the truck but this guy came right up the back of me and started beeping. I literally had no where else to go. I pointed to the truck and motioned about reversing. He was having none of it so I was stuck between the truck and his car, which he kept moving forward.

I don’t know where he thought he could go to get around me because there was literally no room. So I had to go forward, when we got moving he moved into the left lane beside me and rollered down the window to start screaming at me. Saying I almost crashed into him 3 times. I drove on to the traffic lights ahead and he sat beside me in order to continue calling me a stupid bitch and how I needed to “Wise the fuck up and get off the fucking road”.

He sped off before I could compose myself enough to say anything. Honestly, who was wrong here? I understand he had priority but I had dictated and inches out early on, he was far enough away that I would have gotten around the truck in time so he wouldn’t have needed to slow down. It was only when he saw me he speeded and went right up the back of me this all happened.

I do have bad anxiety so this is going to be stuck in my head all day and i’ll more than likely agree with him that I shouldn’t be on the road because I feel shit.

Hi OP. The correct distance to maintain behind an HGV is far enough to see it's mirrors. This isn't a dig, it's another thing you have to learn. If he stopped and put his hazards on, he was probably delivering. You may not have noticed him slowing, although the hazards should have come on before he stopped. You did nothing wrong, you just had a bit of new driver nerves, and an arsehole at the same time.

A Jaguar driver would have seen a lady in distress and slowed down to allow her to complete her maneuvre at her own pace, then given her a cheery wave as he left.

Clearly the Jag driver in front of me on today’s commute hadn’t brushed up on these rules! Ended up reporting him for dangerous driving, the dick.

OP, you fell victim to the four rings of conceit. Just ignore him!

Great that you're looking into a few more lessons as a refresher and to build your confidence. Well done for taking responsibility.

Anxiety can sometimes cloud your judgment so even more reason to build your confidence. Get as much practice on quiet roads as well until the mechanics of driving become second nature and your concentration can be entirely on the road and potential hazards.

It does sound a bit alarming that you ground to a stop on a dual carriage way and attempted to inch round a large truck when you could see an approaching car in that lane.

If the road was relatively clear he was likely to be travelling at 70mph..eek!
Thinking distance at 70mph= 21 metres
Stopping distance at 70mph= 75 metres

Lesson learned though OP and you're doing something about improving your skills.. You didn't deserve abuse.
I don't suppose his eyes were on the road while leaning out of his window shouting insults.

Dual carriageways aren't all national speed limit! There are plenty near me that are 30 and 40 mph.

Yes fair point but even if a car in your rearview mirror is approaching at 40mph, it's not advisable to start inching slowly into their lane. Even if you are indicating!

I'm not having a go OP. People make mistakes and misjudge things.

Both of you were wrong.

He shouldn't have screamed at you, or accelerated when he saw you indicating.

But you shouldn't have been travelling that close to a lorry, you should have been paying attention to him slowing down and over took him, and you should have waited for the audi driver to go past.

Easy to say all that in hindsight, and you don't have the experience some of us have. Lessons learned and all that. Good to hear that you're getting extra lessons too, too many people don't bother thinking they are fine when they aren't. You just need extra confidence though and knowledge in how to deal with situations like that.

OP, the only thing you've done wrong here is to be too close to the truck initially. You already know that though. When following larger vehicles which block your vision ahead, you need to leave a larger gap so either you are far enough back to see over the truck, really only works if you are going down hill or you are very far back, or leave enough room so that you still have plenty of time to react yourself.

Some drivers can be arseholes and I believe you when you say that he speeded up to get past you. As others have said, at this point, instead of trying to reverse to get out of his way, you should have just completed your overtake of the truck and then pulled back into the left and if he then wanted to overtake then he could.

I've been driving for nearly 30 years. Aresholes see an older female in a "family" type car and think that I can't possibly be wanting to drive at the speed limit. They overtake me and then feckin slow down and then when I go to overtake, they can't possibly be overtaken by old lady me (I'm early 50s) so then speed up again. It's really fucking sad.

Also Audi drivers. Parked in a space at side of road tonight. Need to pull out and all ready to do so, vehicle has stopped to turn right behind me, stopping traffic on the road so i get halfway out the space when arsehole audi driver decides to squeeze past of the inside of car waiting to turn right...and the car waiting behind and speeds past stopping me getting out my space, I then have to wait ages on the next gap in traffic, get onto the road and spot said driver pulled in about 3 spaces further up the street. So, his arsehole-ness must have got him into that space about 5 seconds earlier than he might have done.

Yes fair point but even if a car in your rearview mirror is approaching at 40mph, it's not advisable to start inching slowly into their lane. Even if you are indicating!

Agreed. Unless the road is very straight and you can see the oncoming car from a VERY long way away, which happens almost never.

Next time OP, best just to wait.

Can you remember his registration number? I'd be reporting him to the Police.

He was in the wrong as you were already committed. He should have waited instead of trying to intimidate you. He was also then wrong to verbally abuse you further along the road. Try to think no more about it. You did nothing wrong.

I would consider reporting him too. There is no need for that kind of behaviour. He acted like a complete nutcase and set out to intimidate you. People like him are dangerous. No doubt he’s done it to someone else. You won’t be alone OP. I had had some wanker mouth ‘bitch’ at me once because I was turning off a roundabout. He wanted to get onto it. The traffick going around the round about was going slow but it was still my right of way. They think because they have a penis it automatically makes them the superior driver.

• traffic

If he was travelling on the right hand lane/Moving to overtake, at speed you should let him pass first OP. Signalling doesn't mean you have right of way.

It's a silly mistake that you will learn from, don't sweat over it. He still reacted like a dick.

Oh please stop with all the lazy, unoriginal “all Audi drivers are wankers” crap please.

THIS driver was a twat, but having said that the OP sounds like she made a number of pretty significant errors. FAR too close to the lorry if she then had to reverse to pull out past it. She saw a car approaching in the lane next to her (probably going at least 30mph) and then pulled out, so slowly the other driver became enraged.

Yes he shouldn’t have been so aggressive but I think I’d have been pretty incensed if someone pulled out from a standing stop and crawled out despite seeing me coming. She should have waited until it was clear.

Also give trucks A LOT of space. Far more than you might ordinarily think. I made a similar mistake in my first few months and it could have ended really badly. Just hang back, especially at roundabouts or junctions as they often need to be in the "wrong" lane in order to swing round efficiently.

It's like the twats in filter lanes that don't let you in, generally have a small penis therefore have to assert their prowess in other ways

There's also odd air flow around HGVs, so allowing extra space particularly on bridges or in high winds is always a good plan.

FWIW I like driving near HGVs because they're professional drivers who are more than likely than the average to be (1) sober, (2) well rested and (3) licensed/insured. They tend to indicate early and accurately * and let you into gaps.

• though not in OP's case!

Oh it is horrible when people get abusive. I had a woman pull up alongside me to hurl abuse once because i took a few seconds longer than she wouldve liked to pull in and park at the kerb.
What she hadnt noticed was a cyclist who was next to the kerb and needed to pull out to overtake a parked car just infront of where i was stopping.
If i had pulled in i would have hit him
Hope she felt bad when she saw him as she drove on
Really dont let it get to you. Even if you make a mistake well we all do that .You dealt with it as best you could, he was an idiot. Sorry you were treated so badly esp as a new driver.

If you had to reverse to get around the truck, you were too close. You should always look ahead at what is happening and leave enough space between you and the car/truck in front. You should have been able to indicate and move into the other lane without fully stopping and holding up other cars.
The Audi driver sounds like he was speeding and definitely had road rage. You were both in the wrong.

Again, can I mention I did not reverse.

But you clearly said in your OP that you did reverse:

Ok, I break but I’m a little close to the truck, reverse a little because the road is so narrow and hard to get around even more so with the size of the truck

I do think some more lessons would be a good idea. Passing a test doesn't make any of us a good, or even safe, driver. And the one good thing about this episode is that hopefully you've learned something which will help make you a better driver.

As for the Audi driver stuff, that's just daft (and I've never owned one). Last week I witnessed the worst driving I've ever seen. A driver passed three vehicles on a blind bend with a solid white line, pulled in in front of me suddenly, then overtook the car in front, slam his brakes on, gesticulate and speed off. It was a Volvo.

Get used to it, some angry men love nothing more than to shout abuse at women drivers. I just flash them my biggest friendliest smile and give them a passive aggressive little wave or give them the finger with a sneer and a raised eyebrow when I’m not feeling too friendly, assholes.

You’ll get more confidence and be better equipped to deal with twats soon enough because you will no doubt experience situations like that again.

Audi drivers are the worst. I've nothing else to say really. I'm absolutely shocked by some of the idiots on the roads at the moment, I end up shaken up almost every day.

YANBU to feel shaken by being shouted at.

However it's really important that you understand what you should have done differently -you say yourself you make lots of mistakes but you learn from them, but this one's got you and who's in the wrong... hopefully from all the other replies you can now see what you did wrong?

I do think you misjudged the speed and distance away of the Audi and you should NOT have made assumptions about whether he saw your indicator and was anticipating what you were going to do. So first up, you shouldn't have been driving so closely behind the truck -you clearly weren't giving yourself enough reaction time. Secondly, when you realised you'd got yourself too close to the back of the truck you should have waited until there were no vehicles coming up behind you before doing that odd manoeuvre of having to reverse to pass the truck (NOT thinking to yourself "oh I have time for this before that Audi reaches me..."). And yes I'd have been worried about the truck starting to reverse, such a dangerous place for you to be! Thirdly, in doing the odd manoeuvre you should've given yourself ample space so that it wasn't a tight squeeze getting round the truck.

Along with the good advice to always drive like everyone else is an idiot, remember to "always leave yourself an out". This is something that was drilled into me in advanced driver training, it means you need to try to have space around you (front/back/sides) that you can move into as part of evasive action, for example.

Get yourself a camera. It will help you understand how to handle things better next time. The Audi bloke is a cock. You will find a lot of them moving forwards. The other day, I was turning right out of a junction. Further up the road about 100 yards, was a woman doing the same in the other side. I judged the distance, saw her starting to pull out and joined the carriageway on the opposite side to her. I was 75 yards up the road when she passed me honking and gesticulating. She did not have to brake or slow down, she just decided that I was wrong to pull out at the same time as her. Had she got off her phone she would have seen that there was loads of clearance, she has only gone about 25 yards when we passed one another. Some people are just dicks behind the wheel.

For a lorry to stop suddenly on a dual carriageway and put his hazards on, he surely must have broken down. Just shows you never know what is going to happen.
OP, were you looking at the audi via your wing mirrors, rear view mirror, or did you actually turn round? The wing mirrors on many cars these days make oncoming vehicles seem closer than they appear, so he may have been closer to you than you thought.

Sorry, I meant to say 'seem FURTHER AWAY that they actually are'!