To feel shaken about this driving incident?

[Art3misZeee]

So, I’m a relatively new driver (R). Passed my test and had a gap of five months before getting my car (production error).

I’m still learning, I make stupid mistakes sometimes but I learn from them. Though this one really got me.

Was on the way back from dropping the kids off at specialist unit daycare on the left on a two lane one way road, not busy but there’s a huge truck in front of me that stopped suddenly and switched the hazard lights on.

Ok, I break but I’m a little close to the truck, reverse a little because the road is so narrow and hard to get around even more so with the size of the truck. Indicate right to go around truck, inches out a little and do all checks, fine and as I’m half way round truck the only other car who is a white Audi and a good bit away speeded up as soon as he saw me in order to not let me pass first.

This didn’t exactly work because if I accelerated to get around quicker I would have hit the truck but this guy came right up the back of me and started beeping. I literally had no where else to go. I pointed to the truck and motioned about reversing. He was having none of it so I was stuck between the truck and his car, which he kept moving forward.

I don’t know where he thought he could go to get around me because there was literally no room. So I had to go forward, when we got moving he moved into the left lane beside me and rollered down the window to start screaming at me. Saying I almost crashed into him 3 times. I drove on to the traffic lights ahead and he sat beside me in order to continue calling me a stupid bitch and how I needed to “Wise the fuck up and get off the fucking road”.

He sped off before I could compose myself enough to say anything. Honestly, who was wrong here? I understand he had priority but I had dictated and inches out early on, he was far enough away that I would have gotten around the truck in time so he wouldn’t have needed to slow down. It was only when he saw me he speeded and went right up the back of me this all happened.

I do have bad anxiety so this is going to be stuck in my head all day and i’ll more than likely agree with him that I shouldn’t be on the road because I feel shit.

Audi driver was an arse. But tbh OP I think you need more practice before you drive with kids in the car.

Try to forget him and let it go. There are some nasty arseholes on the roads, if he hadn't been one of them he would not have speeded up when he saw you and you would have been able to get through. As it was he wanted to intimidate you and kept going with it by yelling abuse at you.

I passed someone on a road a while ago, he stopped to let me through and I put my hand up to thank him, he couldn't have missed it as I raised my arm up. He still felt the need to wind down his window and scream a sarcastic 'thank you' at the top of his voice through my open window. Actually, really hurt my ear.

Still have no idea what his problem was. Like I say there are a lot of arseholes on the road.

We had a twat right up our arse the other night beeping his horn we were doing thirty in a thirty zone then another one riding our arse for doing forty in a forty zone it got to the degree whereby I decided there was something wrong with the back of the car the amount of people beeping and flashing pulled over to check nowt there! Just a couple of knobs on the road my little car attracts them

I’ll contact my instructor for more lessons. He’s a lovely guy and would make time for it.

My issue is I’ve taken time to take in situations and judge things but I still get beeped because others want to go. Yes I get it, you shouldn’t be too slow or too fast. But how am I meant to make decent judgement calls in such short periods of time? If someone can’t learn to do that should they not be driving ?

It does sound like you made some mistakes, OP, but that's normal. Learn from it. Don't follow so close and if a car is approaching when you're waiting to overtake from standstill, maybe wait til it's gone past (just thinking, if you're stopped and you can see the audi, which is probably travelling at 70mph, then you really should be waiting for him to pass first, unless you can see more than a mile down the road, which seems unlikely).

But obviously none of that excuses the man's threatening behaviour and road rage. A PP suggested front and rear dash cams and I agree they're very cheap, easy to install and useful. Then I would report this guy to the police.

The Audi driver was wrong to react the way he did regardless of what you were/weren't doing.
The way to avoid this in future however if you are looking to learn from it is that your following distance should significantly increase behind large vehicles.
2 second gap for cars at least double for larger vehicles. A good judge is that you should be far enough back to see the vehicles door mirrors if you can't see them then the driver can't see you. A larger distance gives you more time to react in a situation like you describe and also means that you are less likely to miss road signs etc that may be difficult to see if you're following to closely.
I hope that all makes sense.
Try and put the incident today behind you and not let it affect your driving, you will learn very quickly how to spot drivers like the one today, i feel sorry for them their irrational anger says a lot more about them than yhe person they aim it at.

abbsisspartacus, my car is big and I still get so much grief for sticking to the speed limit, but this is London which in general I've found to be full of arsehole drivers. White vans and Prius minicabs are the worst.

But how am I meant to make decent judgement calls in such short periods of time? If someone can’t learn to do that should they not be driving ?

Yes, you need to learn how. Once your comfortable driving it will come naturally and you won't have to think about it. But if someone literally can't learn to make judgements on the road then no they should not be driving.

I think a couple of cofidemce lessons couldn't hurt. You had some time off between passing and driving, so if only to improve your self confidence, that is probably wise.

But, honestly, time and more practice will probably sort it all out. You just got fuddled in the presence of a shouty pratt!

In your OP, you said I break but I’m a little close to the truck, reverse a little because the road is so narrow you really must have been driving far too close to the truck.

I did do this slowly but only because of how tight the turn was with the truck. I really didn’t want to hit it.
You shouldn’t have stopped so close to the truck or if you did reverse, you should have given yourself more room.

If you are pulling out into the right hand lane of a dual carriageway, you really can’t do this slowly, especially if you can see a car in the distance. You need to judge the car in the right hand lane, how far away it was and then pull out quickly, not edge your way out slowly round the truck.

It doesn’t matter that he had seen you + indicator. It is your responsibility to make sure it’s safe to pull out. In this case, it obviously wasn’t safe or he wouldn’t have got annoyed (although he was wrong to shout at you).
You also say he should have ‘let you go past’ please don’t drive like this, he has no obligation to let you past, it’s his right of way.
If you drive with the attitude that no one has seen you, not seen you indicating, not know what you are intending to do, will/should let you out, you are far less likely to cause an accident.

It also sounds like you were really indecisive about going when he’s stopped right behind/next to you as he said you nearly hit him 3 times.

Also, you shouldn’t have inched out at all until it’s fully safe to pull out. You stay in the left hand lane until it’s safe to move into the right hand lane.

cofidemce lessons = confidence lessons

"I do have bad anxiety "

Saw this one coming. Why is "having anxiety" only a thing on MN?

But how am I meant to make decent judgement calls in such short periods of time? If someone can’t learn to do that should they not be driving ?

No of course they should not be driving if they can’t do this safely!

Everyone makes mistakes, especially new drivers but if you can’t judge whether you have time to pull from a side road/whether you have time to turn right/pull onto a roundabout/change lanes, etc then no, you’re not safe to be driving.

If you are frequently getting beeped by other drivers then maybe refresher lessons would be good.

Learning all these these things comes with experience OP and unfortunately the only way to get that experience is to drive on the road.

Every driver makes mistakes from time to time. Some are small and we get away with them, some are massive and can be catastrophic.

However, sometimes drivers deliberately do stupid things, like the driver you came across and like the stupid boys racer I saw going way too fast round a roundabout I was passing the other day. I swear he was almost up on two wheels. It really scared me as I was on the pavement next to him walking the dog and thought he was going to lose control, if he had he would probably have ploughed right into us.

Have some extra lessons if you think it will help, but obviously you've passed your test and so have been deemed fit to drive.

I learned to drive many years ago, my driving instructor told me to always drive as if every other driver on the road is an idiot and to always drive defensively.

My issue is I’ve taken time to take in situations and judge things but I still get beeped because others want to go. Yes I get it, you shouldn’t be too slow or too fast. But how am I meant to make decent judgement calls in such short periods of time? If someone can’t learn to do that should they not be driving ?

I think as already said a few confidence lessons would be good. Experience will help. In the meanwhile, wait out of the way and let impatient people get past before you manoeuvre.

always drive as if every other driver on the road is an idiot

Best advice ever.

always drive as if every other driver on the road is an idiot Yes. Good advice.

Saw this one coming. Why is "having anxiety" only a thing on MN?, l

Quite a nasty comment. In answer to your question people feel more free to talk about their mental health on MN and people with anxiety more often come to the internet for support. I certainly know plenty of people IRL who have anxiety?

I agree with others that you shouldn't assume others have worked out what you intend to do, and it does sound like you were driving a bit close to the truck. Assume everyone else on the road is an idiot/distracted and you'll probably be safer.

I'm assuming this wasn't a national speed limit dual carriageway, but more like a 40mph one or similar?

Your judgment will improve as you drive more and get more used to judging speed and distances.

He sounds like a dick. You'll meet them while you're driving. There's something about getting behind the wheel of a car that makes some people oddly aggressive.

Over time, your driving confidence will improve a lot.

Unfortunately OP it sounds like you were in the the wrong and performed a potentially very dangerous move on I'm assuming a fast road?

If you were at a near stand still and had to do a slow turn you shouldn't have done that infront of an approaching car. One of the scariest things to learn when driving is just how quickly cars can catch up to where you are and it's more likely that you underestimated how fast he was going rather than that he intentionally sped up. He may have seen your indicator but probably assumed you wouldn't pull out infront of him . Given that you were able to gesture to him your intention to reverse he must have had to slow to nearly stopped so I can understand why he would have been angry, it could have been a serious crash had he not been able to stop in time.

Saying that though, he was overly aggressive and there was no need for him to continue shouting at you or make the situation worse. We've all made mistakes so don't beat yourself up about it

Actually I have anxiety but I'm medicated so I'm fine

He was a wanker, OP, but don’t let him put you off. He’s probably in a job he hates, with a boss that treats him like shit, so he has to do something to make himself feel big.

But can I suggest that if you can’t see the mirrors on a lorry/bus in front of you, that means they can’t see YOU. If they decide to reverse for any reason, you’ll be mince. Always make sure you’re far enough back that you can see them. Also, don’t pull in front of them unless you are at least two car distances away, as they their stopping distance will be a lot further than yours. If a lorry/bus is next to you and needs to mak a tight corner, hold back to give them space, as their lorry may drift into your lane.

You’ll be fine. We all make mistakes, but some of us don’t acknowledge them.

He's an Audi driver. Says it all.

He sounds like an arse, but you must have been waaaaay too close to have to reverse up a dual carriageway to get round the truck.

You absolutely can learn to make good judgements quickly, the vast majority of the time (nobody gets it right all the time), and you can learn how to react so as to minimise the consequences of a bad judgement. It does take time and practice, and you don't get that by not driving.

However, you do need to be honest with yourself, OP - you were, from your description, entirely in the wrong. You cannot drive so close to a truck that when it stops, you have a "tight" turn to go around it. Trucks do not stop suddenly - they just can't, they're too heavy. You can't indicate to make the tight turn around the truck and assume that gives you the right to execute that maneuver. Even if the Audi sped up, unhelpful though it was, it's still his right of way. This sort of occurrence would be an easy, clear-cut major on a driving test.

Obviously the Audi driver is a massive cock. So many people on the road are. But there are lessons to be learned from this, and the OP should focus on the fact that she was lucky enough to get away with her mistakes today, and not the behaviour of that driver.