Dh gave his number to his hairdresser

[Stephthegreat]

Been thinking about this all night & don’t know if IBU.

Dh has a very attractive female hairdresser (he goes every few months) who he always tells me is beautiful and a great girl,the apparently get on really well. In the past I’ve always brushed it aside and not really said much. On Saturday he’d had his hair cut and again was talking about how wonderful this girl was,she’s having a difficult time at the moment and he casually mentioned that he’d given her his number.

I was a bit surprised but haven’t said anything. We’ve been together six years and he has often commented on how good looking other girls are, he’s put me down quite a lot too sometimes so I’ve felt a bit insecure about things. I don’t know if I’m right in feeling upset about him exchanging numbers with this girl?

He works a lot of late nights and we don’t see each other much these days.When he’s at home he spends most of his time on his computer in a room on his own,he comes to bed about 2am I’m normally asleep because I’m tired from looking after dc.Is he bored of me? I’ve asked him Andrew he says he’s not but feel that he is.

Yanbu. Sorry, but it does sound like he’s up to something

Why hAs he told you ?

Lots of warning flags here OP, without the hairdresser! Putting you down and praising other women is awful and manipulative!

Is this a second attempt at “my DH added his barber to FB”?

he casually mentioned that he’d given her his number

I was a bit surprised but haven’t said anything

That was when you should have said "WHY?"

I don’t know it’s really upsetting.Hes often made comments about other women. Before I met him he said he used to be a love rat but he said he’s changed with me.

YANBU. This current woman is just a symptom of ongoing problems from the sound of it. He comments on how attractive other women are? Why would you still be with him if he’s doing that and you don’t like it? Does he even know you don’t like it?

Every relationship has its own set of boundaries around other parties. He might be the sort to enjoy making new friends and it be totally innocent, but there’s a huge chance he’s also into her or at least enjoying the attention. A happily partnered man I think in general just wouldn’t do this as it shows disrespect for his partner. If my OH did this I’d think it extremely weird and be very unhappy, I’d make my own thoughts on it clear and be willing to walk away if he didn’t block her/stop going to her as he’s proven he’s unable to maintain normal boundaries tbh.

The only reason I’d give my hot young fantastic hairdresser who I thought was amazing and sexy would be to develop a personal relationship with him.

I don’t think he has much respect for you tbh if he feels able to come out and tell you he’s done this without fearing the consequences. You sound very unsure of your worth and your boundaries.

Why don't you ask him? What does he intend to do if she actually calls him? He told you for a reason, so ask him about it.

IMO opinion he hopes she will ring as he wants to pursue this, but I don't actually know him so only you can tell.

A love rat? You read too much take a break OP :P

Did you post about this recently?

No I’ve not said anything about it until now.

He knows I don’t like it,he’s given his number to another woman in the past but he said it was for work.Ive told him I’m unhappy about it in the past but he blanks me out and says im reading too much into it.

Love rat were his words not mine.His ex also told me the same.

Here we go again.

Ive told him I’m unhappy about it in the past but he blanks me out and says im reading too much into it.

Meh, he doesn’t give a shit what you think and your feelings don’t matter to him. It’s down to you to either tell him he stops this shit or you’re over. I wouldn’t want a man I had to ultimatum into being faithful but maybe you do.

I’m unhappy about it because he’s really not a social person,he has one male friend but doesn’t like going out much.I don’t know why he’d exchange numbers with women.

This seems really familiar?

OP did you post about this before?

No I haven’t.

Here Hare Hear

Someone else with an identical problem posted on here recently. Maybe two people (one hairdresser one cabbie customer) You should search for their thread. The advice already given will suit your situation too.

I’ve been awake most of the night again worrying about this,I don’t like arguing with him because of our ds but this time I feel like I can’t keep going on.If i push things with him it turns into him shouting at me and eventually he drives off and goes all night.

I might look it up thanks

We’ve been together six years and he has often commented on how good looking other girls are, he’s put me down quite a lot too sometimes so I’ve felt a bit insecure about things.

Yeah, that's not remotely okay. Why are you with him?

He sounds like a right tool!

Quit the troll hunting please you lot, OP is a regular poster here.

DH’s actions would be a red line for me I’m afraid. If this was my DH, I’d be asking him to stay elsewhere for a few days, to give me time to think about this. Let him know it’s unacceptable and there is a genuine risk that your relationship could be over because of it