Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Original poster

To serve sandwiches at a wedding

242 replies

CheesecakeAddict · 28/05/2018 21:21

So opinions please...
We have an afternoon wedding. Everyone is invited for the whole thing (No one just for the evening). Everyone barring 5 guests are coming from far away. In many cases from abroad, so I don't want to come across as a terrible host.

We are having an informal meal. It will start after the ceremony at 4pm with canapes, a bbq with sides buffet, then dessert and coffee. The caterers have told us they cater for 3 items from the bbq for each guest. 12 of the guests are under the age of 5 so I expect there to be extras as I can't see a 3 year old eating 3 burgers/hot dogs. The venue have told us they expect the meal to finish by 7ish and we have to be off the premises by 11.30pm. I was thinking of putting a spread on at about 9pm but my DM thinks most will still be full from the breakfast. Especially as the cake (not a fruit cake) will feed 130 and we have around 80 guests, so plenty to go around. Wibu to just put on sandwiches rather than a full buffet or do you think people will be upset? All this will be around £200 per head as we have to use their caterers and whilst I am happy to increase that for my guests who have travelled at least 200 miles just for us, I don't want to throw more money if it's all just going to go to waste.

OP posts:

Original poster

CheesecakeAddict · 29/05/2018 08:53

You're all so right. I'm such a people pleaser. I'm not tied into anything as I have paid a deposit but not signed anything. I'm going to speak to them today and try and swing it that as I haven't signed anything, I should be able to do my own buffet in the evening. I bet I can do a decent sandwich and nibbles buffet courtesy of asda for £100 total. Scrap the open bar and just go with the basic package. If they are funny about it then I'll look elsewhere

OP posts:

LoveInTokyo · 29/05/2018 08:54

OP, have you signed the contract yet?

If not, don't! This venue are taking you for a ride.

Having researched wedding venues quite recently, I think that the type where you hire your venue and then have to organise all your suppliers separately often work out to be the most expensive. Especially the ones where they have an exclusive relationship with a certain caterer and tell you you have to use them.

Is it a really beautiful country house type place? Those are the worst IME. They get you through the door, gawping at the setting and imagining how beautiful all your wedding pictures will look, and then they absolutely fleece you.

Don't do it!

Mammyloveswine · 29/05/2018 08:54

200 pounds per person for a chicken leg, sausage and burger... wtaf??

Fwiw we went to a wedding with a bbq and it was crap... hardly anything left by the time we got served and the sides were questionable!

When we got married I told the caterers our budget and they devised an appropriate menu. It was a cold fork buffet with chicken and beef, different salads, hot new potstoes and sticky toffee pudding for after.

We didn't eat until around 4pm but then had bacon sandwiches and wedges plus any leftovers from the buffet served. Sure it was about 23 quid per person!

We didn't have q free bar but Bailey's hot chocolate and bucks fizz plus prosseco to toast.

You've been totally conned OP

user1471530109 · 29/05/2018 08:55

OP, I haven't read all the thread (sorry!) but your BBQ idea and timingings is exactly what I did for my own wedding.

I didn't pay your prices though.

What I wanted to say is, it was a disaster. The BBQ idea was fab, and I wouldn't go back in that, but there just wasn't enough food. People take a lot more than 3 items and the venue 'ran out of food'. I didn't even get anything! My poor dad went mad and they magically found a bit more. It ruined it a bit for me. Despite the relaxed atmosphere etc which was great, I'd definitely think again in terms of food.

A buffet aswell sounds like a great idea.

Mammyloveswine · 29/05/2018 08:58

By salads we had a fancy rice salad, two pasta salads, a Greek salad and a traditional mixed salad... was amazing! There was enough for seconds too!

polsha · 29/05/2018 08:59

I'm not tied into anything as I have paid a deposit but not signed anything.

Take the hit on the loss of deposit and cancel this absolute nonsense.

ShirleyPhallus · 29/05/2018 09:04

Where on earth is this venue?!

expatinscotland · 29/05/2018 09:05

I wouldn't bother trying to negotiate with them. They will always be a total rip off. They are also not planning on enough food (because they're being cheap). People will be hungry and pissed. Please, please, look elsewhere or elope.

RestingBitchFaced · 29/05/2018 09:08

3 items each will not go as far as you think either. A sausage will be one item, some people will easily eat 3 of them, plus burgers and kebabs - you will probably run out of food

poddige · 29/05/2018 09:09

£16k for a bbq for 200 people. OP why on Earth?!

This is one of the more ridiculous threads I've seen on here.

Are you trying to keep up with the Jones' with the venue? You must have it wrong. £200 per head for a bbq is ludicrous.

Move the venue, use the remainder for an amazing honeymoon, and rescind the invite of fussy relatives.

BossWitch · 29/05/2018 09:10

Agree with everyone who says look elsewhere / rip off etc.

But, in addition to that, are you dead set on a bbq? I've been to a few weddings with a bbq for the main meal and it's always been a bit shite... not enough food, meat gone cold by the time you get yours, just all round a bit crap, especially for a special occasion. Just my two pence worth.

JennyOnAPlate · 29/05/2018 09:10

Don't have a free bar op. I've been to many weddings and there hasn't been an open bar at any of them.

AlpacaLypse · 29/05/2018 09:11

Well done OP, just don't be afraid to walk away deposit or not if they don't back down from this utterly disgraceful price. If most of your guests are coming from a distance anyway you can easily have your wedding anywhere you like.

Lindy2 · 29/05/2018 09:19

You don't need to pay anything like that much for a lovely wedding - even in Surrey.
I really think you need to change your plans. Find a different venue and have the wedding you actually want for much less £. You do not need a free bar. Provide some wine with the meal and some fizz for a toast but let them pay for the rest.

expatinscotland · 29/05/2018 09:23

'3 items each will not go as far as you think either. A sausage will be one item, some people will easily eat 3 of them, plus burgers and kebabs - you will probably run out of food'

This. This venue has to be one of the biggest rip offs imaginable. A Costco sausage, slider and chicken wing with a few cheap sides for £200/pp. Bollocks!

Spam88 · 29/05/2018 09:24

Yes, definitely scrap the open bar! You can always put a set amount of money behind the bar if you wish to (if you do, its generally best to limit it to soft drinks, house wine and draught beer/cider). If it costs the same and you'd rather a sit down meal then do that OP, it's your wedding. On the day people will eat what they're given or just leave what they don't like without kicking up a fuss. And with a bbq you're not going to please everyone either, so you might as well do what you want 🤷‍♀️

Lindy2 · 29/05/2018 09:26

There are some top of the range 5* venues in Surrey that provide the entire package from welcome drinks through to 3 course meal and evening buffet etc for half that price per head. Still pricey in my opinion but not quite so eye watering and providing more for your money than you seem to be getting.

LearnFromThePast · 29/05/2018 09:44

This is madness. If I was paying £200 per head I would at least expect there to be no limit on BBQ items and the evening buffet to be included. The only place I saw that was £80 per head included absolutely everything food wise as well as a drinks package.

As someone recently married I can tell you that you will never please everyone. I have never been to a wedding with an open bar. Bottles of wine on the table has been the norm and is what we did. Food wise, we ended up having what we liked because X wouldn’t eat chicken, X wouldn’t eat red meat, no one wanted fish except Y and that was all they would eat. It was just a massive headache and on the day everyone seemed happy (probably the wine).

If you can still get out of the contract I think you should be looking around at other places personally. But to answer your actual question, cake and sandwiches would be totally fine for me.

HasAnyoneGotAProblemWithThat · 29/05/2018 09:54

The thing is there’s always going to be someone moaning about something (that you probably haven’t even thought of. Do what you want. Sit down meal. Vegetarian starter. Meat or vegetarian main option only. (Except for dietary restrictions). Desert. Wine on table. Drink when they come in & toast for speeches. End of. Buffet in the evening - few sandwiches & you’re done!

divadee · 29/05/2018 09:58

A friend of mine had her wedding at the roof gardens in Kensington with a free bar and very very posh bbq food. I know that came in at about £170 a head. So unless you are in a posh posh part of London with exceptional food (and this "bbq" was exceptional) then you are being royally ripped off.

Do what you and your partner want to do. It's your day, you are paying for it I assume so tell the people who don't want lamb, chicken or whatever to not come if they don't want the food.

LoveInTokyo · 29/05/2018 10:00

This is true. And complaining about there not being an open bar is ridiculous when most people have them now (usually unavoidable due to the wedding industry absolutely fleecing people at every opportunity).

But you do need to feed people adequately. (There was another thread on this recently where people almost unanimously agreed that weddings where you don't get enough to eat are memorably miserable.)

The OP wants her guests to have a good time and she wants to make sure they have enough to eat. The problem is that she is dealing with a venue which is absolutely taking the piss. You can provide far more - and better - food than that for much less money. And then you have more money in your budget to whack a healthy tab behind the bar if you want to.

Please cancel this nonsense and look elsewhere, OP!

MissDuke · 29/05/2018 10:12

OP personally I would do the sit down dinner as I think you said it would be the same price. Then you know there will be enough food for everyone with no buffet. You can just serve the cake in the evening with tea and coffee then. Personally I think the BBQ idea is a bit risky in terms of amounts. No offence but your guests sound pretty rude and I bet they pile their plates up and then there won't be enough. Personally I cannot think of anything worse than trying to eat a burger or hotdog in a weeding dress too

Please please suit yourself. Do what YOU want and stop listening to these very rude relatives!!!!!

Definitely do not have an open bar! One round of drinks for a toast is more than sufficient.

extinctspecies · 29/05/2018 13:01

If the meal is ending at 7 (and it's a proper size meal, which it sounds as if it will be ) and the party will be completely over by 11.30 I really don't think you need to lay on any extra food at all.

Maybe save the cake cutting for a bit later in the evening.

TatianaLarina · 29/05/2018 13:38

I’d just bun completely if you haven’t signed anything. If they take the piss about this they will do so about other things.

TatianaLarina · 29/05/2018 13:39

bin not bun!

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Swipe left for the next trending thread