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Original poster

To serve sandwiches at a wedding

242 replies

CheesecakeAddict · 28/05/2018 21:21

So opinions please...
We have an afternoon wedding. Everyone is invited for the whole thing (No one just for the evening). Everyone barring 5 guests are coming from far away. In many cases from abroad, so I don't want to come across as a terrible host.

We are having an informal meal. It will start after the ceremony at 4pm with canapes, a bbq with sides buffet, then dessert and coffee. The caterers have told us they cater for 3 items from the bbq for each guest. 12 of the guests are under the age of 5 so I expect there to be extras as I can't see a 3 year old eating 3 burgers/hot dogs. The venue have told us they expect the meal to finish by 7ish and we have to be off the premises by 11.30pm. I was thinking of putting a spread on at about 9pm but my DM thinks most will still be full from the breakfast. Especially as the cake (not a fruit cake) will feed 130 and we have around 80 guests, so plenty to go around. Wibu to just put on sandwiches rather than a full buffet or do you think people will be upset? All this will be around £200 per head as we have to use their caterers and whilst I am happy to increase that for my guests who have travelled at least 200 miles just for us, I don't want to throw more money if it's all just going to go to waste.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 29/05/2018 06:55

Shock Venues like this don't deserve to be in business.

GinIsIn · 29/05/2018 06:57

They are seriously taking you for a ride! I got married in central london 4 years ago, and had more guests and paid less than you!!

PlowerOfScotland · 29/05/2018 07:05

I'd be gutted if a friend or family had paid so much for me to have a drink and some bbq. I'd rather you had a mint holiday. Honestly Flowers

It's your day to do as you wish, and your money, but think if what you and your husband could do with that.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/05/2018 07:21

Having recently made about a million little sandwiches for a little Gdd's birthday party, and having thought there'd be masses left over, when in fact there were none - the vast majority were scoffed by the parents! - I think I can safely say that nice sandwiches - enough of them with tasty fillings, and not dry - will probably go down very well!

AlpacaLypse · 29/05/2018 07:23

I'd heard the south east was expensive but this is utterly ridiculous OP. I organised a landmark birthday in Wiltshire earlier this year for 200 people for under £1000, including venue, live music, and catering. Please rethink this, you will end up resenting spending so much money on one day especially if life changes unexpectedly in the future.

Notthatwomanagain · 29/05/2018 07:30

OP are you already tied in to this place?
If I went to a reception with bbq good that was a burger and sausage each then a few sarnies later I would be quite happy but would honestly assume the couple were trying to save money (fair enough but NOT what you want everyone thinking if you have formed out £200pp!)

PuppetOnAString · 29/05/2018 07:39

The problem OP is you’re listening to your family!

I’ve only been to one wedding with an open bar, ever. You don’t have to have one just because they ‘expect’ it, who cares? And so what if someone doesn’t like lamb, neither do I but I would eat it if that’s what I was given.

You cannot please everyone so stop trying as at this rate you’ll be bankrupt.

And find another venue, if everyone is travelling surely it doesn’t matter where you marry. They are taking the piss. Stop trying to please everyone.

At £35 per head even our bbq was more interesting than sausages and a burger.

ClashCityRocker · 29/05/2018 07:47

Jesus, the last wedding I went to with a bbq they paid £45 per head.... And they had steaks and salmon and an excellent cold buffet with it!

You can't spend £16,000 on burgers and sausages, surely?

I'd scrap the free bar, tbh.

And I must admit I'd probably think you had gone down the bbq route as a more budget friendly option - not in a bad way, as I love a bbq.

I wish wedding places would stop quoting on a plus vat basis too. Alright, it's not a complicated calculation but it's also not like the bride and groom will be able to reclaim the vat.

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 07:49

£17 pp for a cheeseboard?

Total pisstake.

InspMorse · 29/05/2018 07:51

You are paying £16,000 for food but you need MN for help to plan the BBQ and sandwiches?
Hmm

If this is for real, you need to have a long conversation with the venue event organiser/planner.

Claredemoon · 29/05/2018 07:52

We had a free beer and wine bar with a maximum budget of 2k and we got £800 back after the wedding. We said if people wanted spirits they could pay for them. Everyone was happy. Smile

Flatwhite32 · 29/05/2018 07:59

I got married in the SE just under 16 months ago and paid around £80 per person overall for a whole day's worth of food. That included 3 canapés each, prosecco, beer and soft drinks with canapés, 3 course sit down meal, prosecco toast, half a bottle of wine per person and evening buffet (fish finger sandwiches, bacon and egg rolls and chips). There was also our wedding cake but that was paid for separately. No free bar, but nobody expected it. Hotel was a quirky 3 star place with around 21 rooms. We paid extra on top of the above price to get exclusive use, which was great fun! Loved every minute! £200 pp seems really steep, but I do remember looking into the cost of caterers after we got engaged, and being shocked at the prices.

Colbu24 · 29/05/2018 07:59

Elope that my advice.

ScouseQueen · 29/05/2018 08:02

£17 pp for a cheeseboard?

For comparison, IIRC that was the price for the cheeseboard at Raymond Blanc's two Michelin star restaurant about 10 years ago. Is OP getting a two Michelin star chef?

sashh · 29/05/2018 08:10

I've been to loads of weddings and only 1 had an open bar, stocked and run by family.

Really there is no need, a glass of wine with the meal and a glass of bubbly on arrival is more than enough.

As for people wanting a sit down but dictating food, I'm sure for the money you are paying you could have an option on the meat, a bit like a carvery. Airlines mange to give you a choice in economy!

off topic We had meat and potato or cheese and onion pie. I'm guessing this was in Lancashire.

Spottytop1 · 29/05/2018 08:15

Hi!
I'm getting married next year and I'm having an informal meal like you, except we are having afternoon tea at 3:30 ( so sandwiches, pastries, quiches and cakes/tea /coffee/juice and then at 8pm a bbq.

We aren't having an open bar but we are having drinks and canapés on arrival, a toast drink, half a bottle of wine each plus a bottle of ale/beer/soft drink each in addition to the tea/coffee/soft drink.

I personally wouldn't do a open bar. In fact I've never been to a wedding or party with an open bar so it's not something I've experienced or would consider.

This will all work out about £90 per head inc venue. I have a few friends also booking at the moment and the max they see paying is
£100 per head.

Could you look at another venue? As its seems excessive especially for what appears to be very little food.

Kintan · 29/05/2018 08:22

You have more money than sense OP! I’d scrap the whole thing, elope (or have a small wedding with a limited guest list) and spend the £16,000 on an amazing honeymoon!

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 29/05/2018 08:25

What a complete waste of money. And you have been ripped off.

Branleuse · 29/05/2018 08:29

remember OP, this is only ONE DAY

Cyberworrier · 29/05/2018 08:36

Goodness OP! I’m helping a couple of family members organise weddings at the moment and the price you’ve been quoted is ludicrous. And ok, Surrey an expensive part of the world but no way should a venue end up costing more than some of the top London ones mentioned on here.. I’m surprised you had such little choice of venue in Surrey, is there a reason you are restricted for location, eg elderly relatives? When is the wedding? I bet you could get suggestions for alternative venues on here if there’s time.. you are pretty close to London so could do it there? I feel your venue are taking the piss...

PamsterWheel · 29/05/2018 08:39

Is this the wedding you really want? Doesn't sound like it. Do you really want to spend all that money on something that doesn't sit right?

Rainydaydog · 29/05/2018 08:44

£200 per head for a BBQ? No way that is crazy.

MismatchedStripySocks · 29/05/2018 08:44

I think ours came into around £5k ish last year. That was for venue hire, wedding planner, candy cart, 3 course meal, corkage for loads of wine, canapés, snacks such as crisps on the tables and a hot buffet for 35. You can extrapolate that to see the price difference. This was in a beautiful private members club. I am shocked for you.

SellFridges · 29/05/2018 08:47

Are you doing this at very short notice? I can’t think of any other explanation. I’ve been to loads of weddings and planned dozens of corporate events and I cannot think what the venue can possibly be to be getting away with charging that for a bbq. Most I’ve just had a look at in Surrey seem to be around £100 per head (inc VAT) for a sit down meal with drinks.

PlateOfBiscuits · 29/05/2018 08:49

Oh OP I feel so stressed for you. This is ridiculous!

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