To serve sandwiches at a wedding

[CheesecakeAddict]

So opinions please...
We have an afternoon wedding. Everyone is invited for the whole thing (No one just for the evening). Everyone barring 5 guests are coming from far away. In many cases from abroad, so I don't want to come across as a terrible host.

We are having an informal meal. It will start after the ceremony at 4pm with canapes, a bbq with sides buffet, then dessert and coffee. The caterers have told us they cater for 3 items from the bbq for each guest. 12 of the guests are under the age of 5 so I expect there to be extras as I can't see a 3 year old eating 3 burgers/hot dogs. The venue have told us they expect the meal to finish by 7ish and we have to be off the premises by 11.30pm. I was thinking of putting a spread on at about 9pm but my DM thinks most will still be full from the breakfast. Especially as the cake (not a fruit cake) will feed 130 and we have around 80 guests, so plenty to go around. Wibu to just put on sandwiches rather than a full buffet or do you think people will be upset? All this will be around £200 per head as we have to use their caterers and whilst I am happy to increase that for my guests who have travelled at least 200 miles just for us, I don't want to throw more money if it's all just going to go to waste.

Glad you managed to renegotiate OP. We wanted a cheesecake and a pork pie cake as our wedding cakes (DM insisted on a traditional one too...) so what we did was served the cheese and pork pie as the evening buffet. Saved a fortune on expensive bacon sarnies and chips etc.

Jesus wept. I live in a different world, I just would not have a wedding like this and pay that money. Absolutely not a criticism OP, I hope you have an amazing day.

Why not build a fast in proceedings?

£200 per guest for a barbecue? You are being ripped off food and proper OP. For £16,500 we got almost everything. Married in a castle, horse and carriage to castle then medieval banqueting hall, glass of champagne in castle, mobile caterers cooked 5 course meal for 92 guests, bridesmaids dresses, shoes and head dresses, morning suit hire for groom, best man and 2 ushers, 2 tier fruit cake and separate enormous sponge cake, guests bused to reception venue, and professional photographer. My Mum paid for my dress, head dress, my shoes, make up and hairdressers for me and bridesmaids and button holes and flowers for reception and my bouquet and brides maids flowers and we did a booze cruise to France and brought back 24 bottles of champagne (some left over) and 2 bottles of wine for each table. A friend did our order of service and invitations and place names as he is a printer. I know it was a few years ago and prices do go up but really you should not be charged anywhere near that much. Which area of country are you in? I am really hoping it was a typo. We found booking medieval banqueting hall and hiring mobile caterers separately saved us a fortune and we had far more flexibility over menu right down to letting us choose which 5 cheeses to serve guests and choice of 3 crackers we wanted. I love a barbecue but almost £70 per burger? Just wow.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to serve sandwiches, esp as you will only have finished your main meal a couple of hours earlier.

Having planned a wedding, personally my concern would have been that just sandwiches would have looked like we were really trying to cut back on costs (although our wedding meal was much earlier in the day & we had evening only guests so I do think it’s different to your situation). But the thing is you are spending An absolute fortune!
If it is the Day you & your fiancé want & you can easily afford this then fair enough. I personally wouldn’t be happy providing guests burger, sausages & sandwiches & behing charged £16,000 (although I know that’s not what you were asking).

I’m not sure if you said when the wedding was but if you have time & have only paid a small deposit I would seriously consider going elsewhere. If people want to be at your wedding they won’t mind travelling a bit (you say most are travelling anyway). If you are able to cancel I would do the maths & see if it pays off to move the venue (you might lose £1,000 for example but a different venue could be half the cost so still works out cheaper).

And as for a free bar, I’ve not been to any wedding where it’s a free bar. I’ve not been to loads (about 6) but not one of them had a free bar. I didn’t really think that was a thing anymore, and one of your guests complaining it isn’t a free bar is pretty rude & It sounds as if they are charging as if your guests are going to empty the bar.

It is very hard to please everyone for food but you really just need to please yourselves. bbq is a good o provide some choice (if that’s what you want) & they can be lovely (one of the nicest food at a wedding we had was a bbq although was chicken, kebabs, halloumi, veg skewers, Burgers, sausage, steak). There are other ways though you can ofter some choice- but I’m not sure it would be any cheaper!

I hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide. If you sick with that venue I would most certainly knock the free bar on the head. If people take the jump it’s one less person to pay for x

£200 per head? Is it Claridges?

What's wrong with little cheesey pineapple ones!

Well done to your dad!
If you want to-and ONLY if you want to, you could put some money behind the bar so people can get a couple of drinks on you. Any sane person would be more than happy with that

If you are paying £200 per head then I think you are being ripped off.

Fuck that! Go to a different area. I live in Sussex and got married in Oxfordshire. If people are coming from afar it won’t matter to guests. You may have a small added cost of pre wedding accommodation but it will avoid your ridiculous massive cost of £200 a fucking head! I wouldn’t pay that on principle. They are completely ripping you off. Would rather forgo a reception altogether!

Not at all. I only served pasties at my evening do, everyone was fine with it.
Also had a candy bar that I did myself for way cheaper than hiring. 200 a head sound awfully high?
Also my fave food is sandwiches so win win I say :)

Know it was a very long time ago. But I paid only £35 a head at the actual Savoy. Maybe you’re being stung.

This would put me off the venue. How can you trust their customer care after this? The day goes so quickly and often the marriage too!

Well done Dad!

If you have to pay it anyway, go for as much food as possible and tell people to take it home. If having sandwiches will lower the cost per head, go for it.

I think the most thing about this is that your guests are probably going to think you’re tight fisted offering a 3 item BBQ and sandwiches. Not one of them will think you’ve spent £200 on them.

Assuming the price is not per head. Sandwiches are normal in the evening but your time does seem a but squashed up

The day goes so quickly and often the marriage too! Nice Kitty6, very nice!