Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To serve sandwiches at a wedding

242 replies

CheesecakeAddict · 28/05/2018 21:21

So opinions please...
We have an afternoon wedding. Everyone is invited for the whole thing (No one just for the evening). Everyone barring 5 guests are coming from far away. In many cases from abroad, so I don't want to come across as a terrible host.

We are having an informal meal. It will start after the ceremony at 4pm with canapes, a bbq with sides buffet, then dessert and coffee. The caterers have told us they cater for 3 items from the bbq for each guest. 12 of the guests are under the age of 5 so I expect there to be extras as I can't see a 3 year old eating 3 burgers/hot dogs. The venue have told us they expect the meal to finish by 7ish and we have to be off the premises by 11.30pm. I was thinking of putting a spread on at about 9pm but my DM thinks most will still be full from the breakfast. Especially as the cake (not a fruit cake) will feed 130 and we have around 80 guests, so plenty to go around. Wibu to just put on sandwiches rather than a full buffet or do you think people will be upset? All this will be around £200 per head as we have to use their caterers and whilst I am happy to increase that for my guests who have travelled at least 200 miles just for us, I don't want to throw more money if it's all just going to go to waste.

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 28/05/2018 22:08

Somethings wrong here - either it’s £200 a head including venue, ceremony, everything. Or it’s £20 a head for the BBQ.

ShadyLady53 · 28/05/2018 22:09

£200? My. Mind. Is. Boggled.

FFS don’t pay it/choose somewhere else/elope.

That is disgusting, wtf are they thinking?!

MiddleClassProblem · 28/05/2018 22:10

Sorry £11,200 which mean £140pp on just food.

Just a bbq, sandwiches and a dessert?

DianaT1969 · 28/05/2018 22:11

Gosh, I feel really ripped-off on your behalf. If you can get out of the contract I would seriously reconsider this. You say that most people are travelling from far away anyway, so can't you think again about not using venues in that area?

InDubiousBattle · 28/05/2018 22:12

So is the £200 for canapés , bbq, drinks throughout the meal, sandwiches and venue hire?

DianaT1969 · 28/05/2018 22:13

It's so expensive that I fear DailyFail will pick this up.

BlueTrousers · 28/05/2018 22:13

Are you getting married in Buckingham Palace!?!
Why oh why are you paying for this?!!

tenbob · 28/05/2018 22:13

And can we just be crystal clear that they aren't planning on charging you £200 a head for the 12 guests who are basically toddlers..?

BuntyII · 28/05/2018 22:14

No surely not. Is the entire cost of the wedding £16k including dress etc?

TheFlis12345 · 28/05/2018 22:15

Where on earth is the wedding for that price?!? My friends had substantial canapés, a 4 course sit down wedding breakfast and a full buffet in the evening plus free drink all day at a 5* venue in Mayfair for less!!

TaggieRR · 28/05/2018 22:16

Very good point from middleclassproblem re cost of food vs alcohol

DianaT1969 · 28/05/2018 22:18

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight until I hear that it includes a live performance by Ed Sheeran and a honeymoon in Barbados.

aprilanne · 28/05/2018 22:18

jings thats a lot of money my son is hiring a lovely barn and having a fancy bbq done by caterers for 70 and night time cold buffet and its only 5000 and i thought that was steep .no alcohol right enough .but jings maybe its me being a scottish tight arse but that sounds a lot .so yes defenately have the sandwiches if its included in the price

LegallyBrunet · 28/05/2018 22:21

Friggin hell OP, call the police, you’ve been robbed!

allforequality · 28/05/2018 22:27

That is insanely expensive! & for a BBQ!? I'd want Gordon Ramsey cooking it himself for that money & Elton John performing after dinner. Bloody hell! I've been to some very fancy weddings and I can only think of one where that was the budget(ish) and that included several courses, fine wine etc - not hot dogs!

expatinscotland · 28/05/2018 22:29

16 grand and your caterers are being cheap, too.

FreeMantle · 28/05/2018 22:32

Crikey! We are doing a similar timed wedding in a very expensive ( not our first choice) with a posh buffet - lamb , sea bream plus sides and alcohol for £120 a head.
In answer to your question ...no! Do not provide anything else. Buy bags of crisps or nuts and call them wedding favours if need be!

Original poster
CheesecakeAddict · 28/05/2018 22:34

This is where you are really going to shit a brick. That is the food alone. The ceremony we are having there but venue hire is on top. It's mental. But it was one of the medium costs we got for the area. Two other big house wedding venues wanted 9k for venue hire for the day. That was venue alone and wanted £110 per head for catering. A hall (as in church hall style venue - not a hall as in a big house) we looked at wanted 7k venue and self catering, when we went to view it, it was falling apart. Then another place we looked at wanted 7k venue plus £90 per head for food and you could only use 2 rooms of the venue and looked like a working man's club. The other rooms were open to the normal punters. At this point we were so heartbroken that once we saw this place, we snatched it.

OP posts:
PuppetOnAString · 28/05/2018 22:35

Our wedding bbq plus sides was
£35 per head! Food was from the venues own farm. £200?? Shock

RexManning · 28/05/2018 22:36

Where on earth is it? Monaco?!

SomeoneAteMyStrudel · 28/05/2018 22:37

Where the actual fuck do you live??

I'm in London and it doesn't cost that much to get married here.

Are you somewhere that people go because it is a bit picturesque and folk come in from outside to have a country house wedding??

PuppetOnAString · 28/05/2018 22:38

So are you fixed on the area then? Can you not change to somewhere else but cheaper? Where on earth charges that much?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 28/05/2018 22:38

My very fancy 4 course wedding breakfast was less than £200 a head. Are you serving very expensive wine? Please say this includes a huge cake at least?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 28/05/2018 22:39

Must add that was almost 20 years ago, but I wouldn’t expect a bbq at £200 a head even now...that is very poor food for the price!

BrownTurkey · 28/05/2018 22:40

Back on the original question, bbq/burgers and then sandwiches, plus cake is just a bit ‘ bready’. Its only a few hours though, and I’m sure people will be fine.