Giving toy guns as gifts

[juneau]

I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or whether others feel like this.

DS was 7 earlier this month and he had a party which his school friends came to and he was given three toy guns as gifts. Now I know it's up to people what they give and that as the recipient's parent I don't get a say, and I should be grateful that these DC came to his party and brought him a gift (and I am), but I would never give a gun as a gift. I think it's really inappropriate and I'm very uncomfortable with having even toy guns in my house. Seeing my 7-year-old running around with a gun (albeit a plastic one), and shooting at us and laughing is horrible. And of course he loves them and he was given them and if I took them away then I'd be the bad guy

I let my child play with guns and swords because they're fun and useful for imaginary play not so that he doesn't do it for real when he's older. What a bizarre concept.

@Pumperthepumper
Guess away by all means, youre quite welcome to however I wasn’t referring to real guns, I was referring to TOY ONES AS THATS WHAT THE THREDS ABOUT, but as I said guess away if that’s what your evening will consist of. Mine however consists having fun with my boys. Yours is gonna be a shitty evening evidently. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Enjoy 😊

Oh and how can o forget the obligatory 🔫🔫🔫🔫 pew pew pew 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tactical, you're being a bit of a knob jockey if I'm honest.

I know, I’m being facetious,but YOU actually understand my point from before. Let them get it out of their system early with the toy guns, it’s just a toy! If this were Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria or any of the countries going through the kind of hell the civvies over there are going through, and we were having this conversation, Id have every compunction to agree that buying a toy gun in THAT kind of environment would be 1000% straight up immoral! But we’re not. Speaking on a serious note, when you’ve had situations where children - I mean like 8,9,10 sometimes even younger - are being essentially brainwashed into becoming fighters with guns, in THAT kind of war torn environment, you would want them to holding a toy gun instead of what they’re actually given..

@ICantCopeAnymore
Forgot to add you in

What about good old cowboys and indians plus cops and robbers? If you don't let them have them they will use twigs etc anyway. Research has proven that this is by instinct (don't ask me to reference it thou) Nerf guns with foam bullets aren't any different in my opinion. What about light sabres-should they banned too then?

Oh get a fucking grip!

Does Dennis the Menace still use a catapult?

I agree with you on that, Tactical. I don't think there's any point in banning them. I think they're fun, and toys. My Foundation Phase classroom has quite the armoury depending on what topic we are doing and no parent has ever had an issue.

Don't be a dick though, it's not nice.

We MADE catapults in class as a STEM activity. It was bloody fun, we shot marshmallows at each other for hours. Such engaged children who went home and did them with their parents, improved them and it was brilliant.

Point taken and received 👍🏻

I personal don't think a toy gun should be a gift unless you know the parents of the child would be ok with it. I would never buy a toy gun for any child but I'm from Dunblane and the memory of what happened here has never left this town. So I know my view is a very subjective one.

Unfortunately,due to the horrific gun crime dunblane will have traumatic associations with guns
That is a very dark and rare association that is unique to that location
It’s not an association for majority of other people,so they’ll make v different decisions

ICantCope when you’re with your class though and studying these topics, are you saying ‘guns have been used during X period in wars or for hunting’ or are you saying ‘guns are brilliant fun! Let’s go outside and pretend to shoot each other!’? I’m not pretending guns don’t exist, I’m not allowing my child to play with them because I don’t think they’re an appropriate toy. If you were doing war as a topic, for example, you would talk about guns as a weapon for killing not for play.

A bit of both to be honest. I have been known to fill paddling pools on the field and do a pirate themed water gun war. Great fun on a hot day.

The children use props in the role play area. I let them get on with it - if they're pirating and using pistols to recreate something we've learned about, cool. If they are using them to play Fortnite, not cool.

Unfortunately,due to the horrific gun crime dunblane will have traumatic associations with guns
That is a very dark and rare association that is unique to that location
It’s not an association for majority of other people,so they’ll make v different decisions*

That’s bollocks. You didn’t have to be anywhere near Dunblane to appreciate the horror of it. Britian changed its gun laws on the back of the Dunblane massacare and there hasn’t been another school shooting in the entire UK since. Total bullshit to say that anti-gun sentiment is localised to Dunblane because of that one incident.

Have a modicum of composure.i will not be draw further on Dunblane

I’d say I was pretty composed, I deleted quite a lot. But yes, probably best not to mention Dunblane again.

A bit of both to be honest. I have been known to fill paddling pools on the field and do a pirate themed water gun war. Great fun on a hot day.

The children use props in the role play area. I let them get on with it - if they're pirating and using pistols to recreate something we've learned about, cool. If they are using them to play Fortnite, not cool.

Hmm, I’m not sure how much further we can take this discussion. I’m in the UK (Scotland) and there are no toy guns in my son’s school - but I’d be really angry if he was told he was playing a war game. Chucking water balloons at each other, maybe, but not war games. Because I don’t think it’s a game, I don’t like him associating violence with play.

But we’re all different and we’re all doing our best.

"War" is a really common teaching method. Also, children play war games in the playground. You can't police that. It's play though not violence. Does he not get the chance to swing a sword or run around "pew pew"ing? My DS used to love the Disney version of Robin Hood, with the foxes. He carried a little foam dagger that came with his costume. It's just play.

To connect that to what a violent adult with a knife does is crazy. If an adult wants to stab someone they will. Whether they had a toy sword as a child or not, will have no impact.

‘War’ is a common topic but it’s not a common teaching method, or at least, not where I’m from. Teachers here aren’t regularly lining up their classes for war games. Most of my immediate family are teachers and (without giving myself away too much) I do a lot of work with Primary Schools in Scotland and I’ve never been asked to provide toy guns as a resource for a class.

And no, he doesn’t get to play with swords. He doesn’t get to pretend to shoot guns. He doesn’t get to play fight. He pretends he’s an astronaut or a train engineer. He loves lego and books and jigsaws and tennis. I promise he’s not crying himself to sleep every night because he’s not allowed a toy gun.

And I think with the violence/play thing, you either decide it’s acceptable or you don’t. I didn’t, because that’s what I felt was the best decision for my family. We’re all just trying to do the best thing for our kids, aren’t we?

I honestly don't think you can realistically stop them from ever including violence in their play.

From an early age my son has had toy guns, swords, etc (along with pushchairs, kitchen stuff etc) He’s now a teenager and has an air pistol (for use at the shooting range) and a collection of Japanese weapons ( he’s a nerd) He’s a very gentle soul who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s had parties at laser quest, paint ball and the shooting range. That being said, I would never give a gun (or any sort of weapon toy or replica) as a gift. I also wouldn’t give a gift to a little girl of makeup or Bratz dolls (or similar). Other people have the right to parent as they see fit and I would never force my parenting choices onto a fellow mum. There are plenty of non contentious gifts you can give instead.
This post isn’t about how you feel about toy guns. It’s about having the respect and common sense to not put another parent in a difficult position.

poca hmm, maybe, I don’t know. My son is pretty easy going so he’s happy enough to play hide and seek or lego or whatever. So maybe impossible to stop it completely but I definitely don’t feel it’s something that should be encouraged or indulged.