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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 20:42

It's a pity if she's skiving a bit while she's pregnant, but that's about it

It’s more than a pity. Her ‘skiving’ could be 7 people out of a job and the closure of a business.

It’s understandable if she’s truly ill and she would have all my sympathy if she was. But if she is faking then she’s added a huge amount of grief and stress to a lot of peoples lives, just so she can have an extra few weeks off.

OP posts:
footballmum · 27/05/2018 20:45

If I were the boss I’d be asking for evidence of when the holiday was booked and an explanation as to why she hadn’t booked any leave?!!

MaisyPops · 27/05/2018 20:48

If she has been sevely ill for 6+ weeks she will be very weak and depleted.She will need to regain her strength.I would imagine being relaxing in a hotel having all her food prepared for her would be a good idea
And i'm sure flying, sitting in the direct sun for hours, socialising, swimming, playing volleyball are just the sort of activities that really help you rest and recharge.

Even better if you happen to get a last minute totally unplanned week in the sun when all your friends happen to also have time off work.

What a lucky coincidence!

JessicaJonesJacket · 27/05/2018 20:53

SickOfPeterRabbit love? really? Hmm
The OP hasn't seen the sick line. She is relying on office gossip for the diagnosis. And even if that gossip/information came from her boss, the boss may not have divulged the detail of her colleague's sick line because it's none of OP's business. In fact, she shouldn't have divulged any of the detail at all.
The scope of the DWP is completely irrelevant.

Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 20:58

@jessicajonesjacket it wasn’t office gossip, it was straight from the horses mouth. She came in and said she has been signed off work with hyperemesis and handed her sicknote in

OP posts:
LilacIris · 27/05/2018 21:00

It doesn't matter what's on the sick note. The reason is immaterial.
She submitted a sick note to say she wasn't fit for work, and went on holiday abroad.

Legally you may still not be considered fit for work but able to go abroad on holiday. It would be a doctor’s decision (or potentially an employment tribunal) regarding the finer details but it happens frequently.

DeathByMascara · 27/05/2018 21:00

Thought the colleague told OP herself that it was hyperemesis?

I can’t bear piss taking like this. I was accused of it when I was pregnant, six years ago, and it still pisses me off! Apparently it was too much like hard work for my boss to actually read my sick line, or google ‘sepsis’ so decided I was taking the piss taking 2 weeks off with a urine infection. In reality, I’d spent a week in high dependency running the risk that I’d have to deliver at 5.5 months in an attempt to save my life.

I know that’s off topic, but it still really grates how it was dealt with in my work.

PoorYorick · 27/05/2018 21:01

Women already have a hard enough time getting genuine pregnancy-related illnesses taken seriously at work. This kind of thing compounds the problem.

Highhorse1981 · 27/05/2018 21:04

If her skivving is potentially going to bankrupt the business and make 7 people jobless then I’m sorry to say that the business is on its last legs. If this doesn’t break it, then something else will very soon.

I’d focus your efforts on job hunting rather than this colleague

pigeondujour · 27/05/2018 21:05

Personally if my job was at risk I'd be putting my energy into finding a different job rather than trying to get a pregnant colleague sacked. Horses for courses I guess.

AdeliciousRex · 27/05/2018 21:06

I was about to say the same thing as highhorse - definitely start looking.

Flatdilemma · 27/05/2018 21:06

I agree with the comment above. I had this and ended up in hospital. No way could I have done volleyball. People taking the piss out of makes it harder for those who are genuine to be taken seriously.

Large company I would be pissed off but let it go. Small company where my job was at risk I would say something tbh.

MrsImsy1 · 27/05/2018 21:07

Not quite sure what I would have done in OPs position, I don't envy you!

I find it amazing that a pregnant woman too ill for work or with a single health concern would take herself abroad away from medical professionals who have instant access to her medical history . I'd love to see the travel insurance quote for that and whether her doctor deemed her fit to fly.

Your colleague is a complete tool either way, an idiot for being ill and deciding to go away or for going away when not sick and placing you all in a precarious position!

huha · 27/05/2018 21:09

@Highhorse1981 BS. A business is not on its last legs if it's struggling to pay a full time wage to a skiving POS. If sick pregnant woman was well enough to go to Greece then she should have taken that as holiday time. She's lying.

JessicaJonesJacket · 27/05/2018 21:13

We've had staff signed off sick. They may say to some colleagues they are off because of x when actually it's y but they don't want to share that information with their colleagues. You're not her friend. She blocked you on facebook. She doesn't need to tell you the truth or her full medical history.

But, as a PP said, if the business is going to collapse because one person is off sick then you should really start applying for a new post. No business should be that precarious. And regardless of whether your colleague is faking or not, at some point, someone will be sick and you don't want to be scrambling to find a new role because the business can't sustain a sickness absence.

Carycach100 · 27/05/2018 21:13

And i'm sure flying, sitting in the direct sun for hours, socialising, swimming, playing volleyball are just the sort of activities that really help you rest and recharge.

Well i don't know where you have got the bit about sitting in direct sun from? But yes I think a holiday would be relaxing and help her recharge.I mean that is why people go on holiday!

Dancingmonkey87 · 27/05/2018 21:15

You threw her under the bus

LaurieMarlow · 27/05/2018 21:17

If her skivving is potentially going to bankrupt the business and make 7 people jobless then I’m sorry to say that the business is on its last legs. If this doesn’t break it, then something else will very soon.

I’d focus your efforts on job hunting rather than this colleague

I agree with this. The pregnant colleague is just a side show.

applesandpears56 · 27/05/2018 21:18

You can’t go on holiday with hypermesis - you can barely leave the sofa/house.
You def did the right thing if you reported her.

Highhorse1981 · 27/05/2018 21:23

huha

Read the OP’s post

Her ‘skiving’ could be 7 people out of a job and the closure of a busines

SamandDean · 27/05/2018 21:30

You threw her under the bus
And the most cliche answer award goes to..........

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/05/2018 21:33

Well, I got signed off with hyperemesis and had to cancel a night in Whitby so like others, I find it hard to believe she could play volleyball with it.

On the flip side, I had a miscarriage and told colleagues I was off with laryngitis. No, I didn’t go to Greece but you don’t know what is really wrong with her I guess.

boymum9 · 27/05/2018 21:37

I'm sure so many people have commented something similar but I have severe sickness (not hg) but was on medication and even with that there would not have been a chance I would have been going out for anything but complete essentials let alone on holiday!!

TokenBritPoshOfCourse · 27/05/2018 21:37

Just a thought, but when I was off sick following a suicide attempt, I told my colleagues it was for a bad back and asked my boss not to say. In fact my note only said depression and anxiety as the GP kept it vague for me.

Going on holiday is often suggested for depression.

SoupDragon · 27/05/2018 21:39

Well i don't know where you have got the bit about sitting in direct sun from?

It’s in the OP that she was sunbathing.